02 February 2007

A new weapon in the Elders' arsenal

We are proud to announce that a trial of our new psychedelic weapon was successful beyond expectations. A new brand of French cheese developed by Dassault and IMI (Israeli Military Industries) became a part of a binary psychedelic weapon CC (Cognac - Cheese) that has a short term debilitating effect two orders of magnitude higher than a comparable quantity of most potent Psilocybe mushrooms.

Here is the target of the trial before the weapon release:

Notice the stately appearance and the penetrating eyes of the target. And now the target immediately after release of the weapon via voluntary (albeit reflexive and greedy) consumption of its components.

There is no need to comment on the picture, is there?
The sounds emitted by the target during this time amount to the following:

On Monday, Chirac said of Iran and its nuclear program: "I would say that what is dangerous about this situation is not the fact of having a nuclear bomb. Having one or perhaps a second bomb a little later, well, that's not very dangerous." "Where will it drop it, this bomb? On Israel?" Chirac asked. "It would not have gone 200 meters into the atmosphere before Tehran would be razed."

In the second interview with the same newspapers, Chirac retracted his comment about Tehran being razed. "I retract it, of course, when I said, 'One is going to raze Tehran,"' he said. "It is obvious that this bomb, at the moment it was launched, obviously would be destroyed immediately," he said. "We have the means - several countries have the means to destroy a bomb."
Obviously the impact of the obviously mighty CC is obvious?

We have decided to refrain from posting the picture taken ten minutes later, when the weapon's impact was at its peak. The drooling, the slobbering, the total loss of control over facial (and other, not usually mentioned in a polite discourse) muscles made it too gross to publish.

We'll settle for the confession made by the target later:
"I don't think I spoke about Israel yesterday. Maybe I did so but I don't think so. I have no recollection of that."
Yep. It sure works!