30 June 2006

Give these folks a big helping hand, please!

If you look at this new Zionist-looking button over there on the right side under the spiderweb of the Zionist conspiracy logo, you may click on it as well. It will bring you to a new blog named J-Blogosphere. Or, in other words, "the official blog of J-blogosphere".

As far as I can see, it was started by a group of youngsters with a dream. Which is always laudable, as long as that dream is not something the law will frown at.

From what I understand about at least one of the participants, there is enough energy for another ten or twenty blogs, and I have absolutely no doubt that this one will prosper as well.

So, folks, give a hand - and a link - to this blog. Or, at least, do not stand in its way, it may be unhealthy.

29 June 2006

On tigers and opportunities

Paul, our reader, posted a comment that, I think, deserves more attention than a Haloscan comment system warrants. Here is its updated version from Adloyada.

Many people have been saying that the Hamas attack on the tank and the capture of Gilad Shalit are particularly heinous in light of the complete pullout from the Gaza strip. I heard an Israeli on a BBC radio call-in discussion expressing utter outrage over the fact that the Hamasniks had CROSSED THE BORDER and attacked an IDF position that was NOT occupying Palestinian land. And many have condemned the Qassam attacks in this context (the Gaza pullout) as well.

Now, I'm a passionate supporter of Israel. But it must be said the Gaza pullout didn't change anything about the moral context nor about the morality/immorality of any specific actions, for two reasons.

1. Attacks on civilians are always immoral and illegitimate, they are just terrorism, and there is nothing -- no occupation, no settlements -- that can mitigate the moral depravity that. So the Gaza pullout has no impact on the moral considerations of firing missiles at Sderot, for example.

2. But I'm also baffled by political comment that pretends that Gaza and the West Bank are separated in any way other than geographically. Hamas is at war with Israel, full stop, and one of the main reasons for that is the occupation (whether Hamas would make peace with an Israel within the "'67 borders" is a further question). As long as the West Bank is occupied, of course Hamas is going to take advantage of the new situation in Gaza to attack Israel from an area where it can now operate more freely; it can be expected to do that and there is no logical reason why it shouldn't. So why shouldn't Palestinian fighters cross the Gaza border to grab Israeli soldiers? War is war; soldiers are soldiers; and if you are already at war with a country, then you're not exactly going to worry about respecting its borders, are you. Nations at war don't respect each other's borders (particularly when the war is partly ABOUT borders). Now THIS is something that would be changed by disengagement, because disengagement would remove all justification for war. But disengagement hasn't happened yet. Disengagement will only change the moral situation when it's complete -- in other words, when the settlements and the IDF have been pulled out of the West Bank as well as Gaza. At that point, the Palestinians will have no further justification for waging war against the IDF. Until then, Hamas correctly considers Palestinian land to be occupied and it's nonsense to make some sort of artificial distinction between occupying a little bit of Palestinian land in Gaza and occupying much more Palestinian land in the West Bank.

I hate terrorism with a passion, and on top of that I take terrorism against Israelis personally. I love Israel with all my heart. And I have enormous admiration and affection for the IDF. But let's keep our thinking straight: A small part of disengagement has been completed (Gaza). But by far the most significant part of it (the West Bank) hasn't even begun. The Palestinians are at war against Israel. Gilad Shalit, who was on active duty and in uniform when he was captured, is not the victim of a terrorist hostage-taking; he is a prisoner of war. I hope Israel succeeds in freeing him without any negotiation, compromises, or concessions.

Shabbat Shalom


I do not think I am going to argue with the formal part of this post. Although Palestinian Authority has never formally declared a war, de facto we are in a war. And I do not consider the capture of a soldier being a terrorist act too. In a war as in a war.

But here is where the similarity to a war stops. To start with Qassams that are, according to Paul, just another aspect of the war: Qassams are definitely not pointed toward any Israeli military target, their sole purpose is to terrorize the population. On the other hand, Israel has not yet responded to Qassams as any other country would respond in such situation. Shelling empty fields and taking out individual "rocket scientists" of Gaza is hardly an appropriate response.

The capture of Corporal Gilad Shalit, being by itself an act of war, ceased to be such immediately after the soldier was hidden in a concealed location. Had Hamas wanted to acquire some semblance of legitimacy, it would have declared Gilad a POW, allow ICRC access to him to establish that he is alive and to report on his health, in short - demonstrate behavior expected of a polity. Such behavior would have allowed negotiations on exchange of prisoners (although most of the prisoners kept in Israeli jails could hardly claim the status of POW, but I am sure a way could have been found). Instead, everything that happened since the capture clearly shows that Hamas cannot liberate itself from the behavior pattern of a terrorist gang. Now the capture of Gilad Shalit became a kidnapping, and any demands issued by Hamas are no more than blackmail by a kidnapper.

Now to the main point of the comment: "As long as the West Bank is occupied, of course Hamas is going to take advantage of the new situation in Gaza to attack Israel from an area where it can now operate more freely; it can be expected to do that and there is no logical reason why it shouldn't." The answer to this statement does not exist in the realm of the formal definitions. Formally it is correct, although I know some folks that will argue the "occupation" term to their last breath, I am not one of them: yes, we are occupiers.

The answer to this statement or, rather, an advice to Palestinians, is derived from the following:
  • Violence was tried for many years and did not bring any results, it will not bring any results in the future, aside from more blood on both sides and alienation of the (already waning) international support.
  • We do not believe in a peaceful solution to the crisis, the years that passed from the days of Oslo disillusioned us. Gaza was the opportunity for Palestinians to demonstrate to us and to the world that the two states could coexist side by side. This opportunity is going down the drain.
  • The only way to resolve the stand-off is peaceful protest and negotiations. When Palestinians realize that this is the way to win the hearts both in Israel and in the world, then they shall win. Not immediately, not quickly, but eventually the peace will come if they choose this way.
True, the change required from Palestinians is difficult to undertake. It requires a Gandhi when all Palestinians have at the moment is Khaled Mashal. It demands a visionary when Palestinians are led by terrorists unable to break the mould, and there is no one in sight able to change this.

A tiger never changes his stripes, they say. Unfortunately, everything Palestinians have done since disengagement only confirms that saying.

And so far the famous Abba Eban's "Palestinians never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity" seems to be the only constant in our mad region.

A bone in BBC throat

No worries, it is already out. Normal services are being resumed at this moment.

BBC rejects call to change terminology

The BBC has rejected a call made by an independent panel studying charges of bias in its coverage of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to change its editorial policies on the use of the word "terrorist" and appoint a senior editor to oversee its Middle East coverage.

Using the word "terrorist" to describe attacks on civilians, BBC management argued in a paper released June 19, would make the "very value judgments" it had been asked to eschew.

Indeed. Who knows, maybe killing a civilian or two is a vital bodily function without which these nice "militant" folks will simply wither away?

Still, for variety sake: I had a few options of non-judgmental terms offered sometimes ago to AP. Take a look here.

Otherwise: feh.

About the birds, the colors and the art of deception

Noun: deception
An illusory feat; considered magical by naive observers

The following picture caused me to think about the birds and their use of colors:

The images do not leave any room for doubt. It is quite clear who are the good guys: the blue sky, the boy, the flag; and who are the villains: the monster of a tank, the yellow dust, no human beings. Just to be on the safe side, the images are strengthened by the captures for more stupid readers:

Israel lunches strikes on Gaza after crisis over captured soldier...

...but Hamas are on the verge of accepting two-state solution.

Now, unless you are terminally stupid, the message should be crystal clear. Ain't it?

So what about the birds? It's really simple. Birds, at least the males of the species, use colors to attract the opposite sex. Undoubtedly, the colors may compensate for lack in other departments, such a mental deficiency, lack of agility, some problems with reproductive organs etc.

So what can I say: great cover page!

Just an aside: surfing for birds and their habits, I have stumbled on the sentence here that is strangely fitting the topic of this post:

Similarly, the parrot was thought to have no cry of its own but can deceive us into thinking that a nobler bird is on the scene.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Balanced according to Guardian

The latest Guardian leader on the developments in Gaza probably caused its author (or authors, as the case might be - you never know with these people) a serious bout of indigestion. Trying to artificially balance the wobbly logical structure, throwing on the scales some truths, some evasions and some half-truths could harm the most robust stomach.

...there has always been a grim inevitability about the offensive - codenamed Summer Rain - that Ehud Olmert unleashed yesterday to try to free a soldier abducted by Palestinian fighters.

Why is that? Doesn't the fact that the steady flow of Qassams started immediately after the disengagement have something to do with it?

Bombing bridges may have some military logic, but the destruction of a power station seems intended solely to intimidate and inflict collective punishment.

Please - stop that whining about collective punishment. The Palestinians themselves excel in the whining as it is. Hiding the "freedom fighters" after their individual crimes are perpetrated, allowing them to launch Qassams from the most populated neighborhoods counts as collective crime in my book. Imagine London being bombarded and tell us what would the enlightened Brits have done in our place. Just a second, London was bombarded actually? And? Oh, that Dresden story - no, we would not mention it, after all it was so looong ago. Besides, Jupiter and bull and all that stuff...

The brutal truth, though, is that Israel has killed many more Palestinians in its attacks on the Gaza Strip - the distinction between preemption and retaliation now bloodily blurred.

We can hardly teach Europeans anything about bloody. We should not mention all these tens of millions lying in mass graves all over the bloody continent. Must be sensitive, after all some of the graves are quite fresh. And again: Jupiter and bull, Jupiter and bull... Could we mention the word "war"? Please?

Ironically, at this menacing moment, prospects for negotiation may have improved - at least on paper - thanks to Mr Abbas's agreement with Hamas.

The irony is sometimes is the eyes of the beholder, it looks like. Read "Palestinian Prisoners' document may end the peace process" about the great sham called "Mr Abbas's agreement with Hamas". I shall just quote the ditty here:

There was a old gent named Abbas;
Who smiled as he rode on Hamas.
They came back from the ride;
With Abbas inside,
And the smile on the face of Hamas.

Somebody is selling some major bull here, and it is amazing how willing are some people to buy into it wholeheartedly. I wonder why.

But there can clearly be no negotiations until the guns fall silent and the harsh cycle of attack, retaliation and vengeance is broken.

Ditto. Something we could all agree with, at least. Now go and tell this to Hamas and all the other members of the alphabet soup of the gangs as well.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Missing teen found dead

Shin Bet agents and special IDF troops found the body buried in a field around 2:30 A.M. Thursday, and determined that he was shot in the head soon after he was kidnapped on Sunday.

Rest in peace, Eliyahu. The scum that kidnapped you intended just to kill another Jew. They shall pay for it.

28 June 2006

Apropos nothing

Some will not know what it is at all, others will love to have another look. And for some it is their major nightmare come true...

Russia blames US for the death of Russian hostages in Iraq

Woland tells the tale of that exceptional stupidity here.

I wonder why the Zionists are not mentioned.

We have come to take you home

These words became an integral part of who we are. They were shouted by an unnamed commando 30 years ago in the terminal of Entebbe.

And this man is forever to remain an integral part of who we are.

And what happened to the terrorists is a lesson to all the wannabe martyrs.

Shouting or talking?

Actually, the article by Simon Tisdall is titled Shouting not talking. Its general drift is that talking is better than shouting. Unfortunately, while the idea itself is excellent, the article is less so.

The article, with its unforgettable imagery (that "sending barbed words crashing like unguided artillery shells" will be pretty hard to get rid off, I swear), says some thing that are easy to agree with, like:

Palestinian violence against Israelis, including rocket attacks launched from Gaza, is not and cannot be justified. It must cease - because it is wrong and because it hinders the realisation of Palestinian aspirations.


The story is depressingly familiar: many deaths, disproportionately on the Palestinian side, both military and civilian; more destruction, more traumatised children, more ruined schools and broken homes; thousands, perhaps tens of thousands of refugees pushing across the border into Egypt; and, in all likelihood, the death of the very soldier Mr Olmert wants to save.

Otherwise, it is the usual mealy-mouthed jumble of platitudes and, yes, barbed words. True, they do not crash like artillery shells, but still... To start with the sentence that is chosen as a subtitle:

Israel is in danger not of obliteration by 'Islamic extremists' but of delegitimisation by its own polices and actions.

That's one brilliant start of an article on peace and war. Do we need or ask for a confirmation of our legitimacy (even if it is to appear in Guardian)? I doubt, but Mr Tindall knows better how to start talking. And when started, he does not care much for logic or common sense:

But all the angry adjectives in the world cannot hide the fact that Mr Olmert also carries heavy responsibility for the latest mayhem, as well as the plight of Cpl Shalit.

To make it clear - this "latest mayhem" is the IDF incursion in Gaza that started today. Granted, it is Olmert's ultimate responsibility. But how Olmert is framed as guilty for an attack on a border post inside the Israeli territory and the resulting killing and kidnapping - it is a mystery that only a Guardian scribe could possibly clear.

It is his policy that keeps Gaza under siege and almost constant bombardment.

Yep, and the steady rain of Qassams that already took 12 lives is also instigated by this pesky Olmert, of course. In Guardian book there is no chicken, only an egg...

And more and more of the same. So it is better to finish by this quote:

Mr Olmert should stop shouting and start talking.

Mr Olmert has decided that it is time to stop both shouting and talking. Cannot say I am happy with this decision, but I suspect that nobody is. Nobody is happy about a war.

Apparently Mr Olmert realized, unlike Mr Tisdall, that talk is cheap. Which the quoted article proves to my full satisfaction.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

The mistake about disengagement

The tanks are rolling. Hamas' goal - to destabilize the situation - is achieved. More people, guilty and innocent, will die in many horrible ways, as in any war.

To preempt the "anti-Zionists" excessive hot air generation: an excellent article by Ami Isseroff that reminds the realities of Gaza. I cannot avoid a quote, although the article deserves your full attention.

Israel has made a few mistakes about the disengagement as well. We understood what the disengagement was supposed to accomplish, but then we apparently forgot. The disengagement puts Israel in the right in Gaza. We should no longer have to argue about "moral equivalence" or who kills more people. It is irrelevant. Terror and aggression are wrong, and they have to be stopped. The Qassam rockets kill and maim innocent people for no reason. The Israeli soldiers killed in Kerem Shalom, and the Israeli soldier who was kidnapped, were not monsters of the some occupation army. They were young men doing their lawful duty, guarding their own country, inside a border that the international community claims to recognize.

27 June 2006

A knee-biting rocker?

AP found out a hilarious news item:

Guns N' Roses frontman Axl Rose was arrested in Stockholm early Tuesday after allegedly biting a security guard in the leg at his hotel, police said.

I know, it is a technicality, but doesn't one have to stand on all four or, at least, lie down to bite somebody in the leg?

It was unclear what caused the fight, but Swedish tabloids said the guard tried to intervene when Rose started arguing with a woman in the hotel lobby.

Was he in the same position (on all four) during the argument as well?

Fredrik Nylen, one of the police officers who helped arrest Rose, was quoted by the daily Aftonbladet Web site as saying that the singer acted aggressively toward police and had to be handcuffed and restrained in the hotel.

Dunno about handcuffs. A juicy bone may have solved the whole problem...


Brazil 3 - 0 Ghana

Ghana tried. Brazilians succeeded to work up some minor signs of sweat.

I hope the next opponent (France of Spain?) will present more in the way of a challenge.

A.B. Yehoshua sticks to view...

Daphna Berman reports in Haaretz that A.B. Yehoshua is still hell bent to piss off as many people as possible by generating sound waves.

Novelist A.B. Yehoshua failed to strike a conciliatory cord in an address to Diaspora Jews yesterday when he reiterated his argument that only Israelis could be "total and committed" Jews. "People thought I was coming with a request for forgiveness, but no," he said. "I am not speaking with condescension, but rather pointing out the differences between the two realities. This is not a qualitative difference. I am not making a moral judgment but rather stating a factual difference." Jews outside of Israel, he added, were not "bad Jews" - despite the fact that they "put their Jewishness in a box" and compartmentalize their identities as is convenient.

To remind you what it is all about:

In May, Yehoshua caused a storm when he said that only Israel, and not Judaism, could ensure the survival of the Jewish people.

The fact that these sound waves, after being received and mulled upon just a bit, do not contain anything meaningful, does not seem to bother neither the esteemed writer nor our local provincial media.

The whole hullabaloo raises the eternal question: why is that the people who reach an exalted status in some professional field, consider themselves experts in everything under the sun? Aside of the unfortunate example of Mr. Yehoshua, the shining example of the distinguished linguist Noam the Master Mind diving into politics comes to mind immediately, but there are scores of similar examples (Stalin the professional thug and murderer lecturing writers would the most outstanding case).

And another question: why does our media pay attention to these outbursts, caused mostly by some digestion problems, inflated ego and an opportunity to bend someone's ear?

Not to mention the mysterious terms "total Jew" and "committed Jew". But let's leave that for another occasion.

Yeah... There are views to stick to and there are views to be stuck somewhere or other.
You decide.

Bon Appetit, Mr. Ghalban!

This video gives another glimpse into the state of mind of the Hamas leaders. Apparently, after repeating the slogans several thousands times, the sloganeer himself gets hypnotized by the sound of his voice and starts to believe his own drivel.

PMW has a few words to say about the speech:

The video is a collection of statements by Hamas terrorist leader, Yasser Ghalban, killed last week by Palestinians, in the ongoing internal fighting.

The following is the transcript of selections from the Hamas video:

"We will rule the nations, by Allah's will, the USA will be conquered, Israel will be conquered, Rome and Britain will be conqueredÂ…

The Jihad for Allah... is the way of Truth and the way for Salvation and the way which will lead us to crush the Jews and expel them from our country Palestine. Just as the Jews ran from Gaza, the Americans will run from Iraq and Afghanistan and the Russians will run from Chechnya, and the Indian will run from Kashmir, and our children will be released from Guantanamo. The prisoners will be released by Allah's will, not by peaceful means and not by agreements, but they will be released by the sword, they will be released by the gun".

It looks like some other Palestinians believed Yasser too and decided that he does not deserve the whole world to himself. Thus the sudden demise.

Regarding the Jews running away from Gaza: rest assured, Yasser, your colleagues that remain at large for now are doing everything in their power to persuade the Jews to run back to Gaza. Unfortunately.

And a belated advice: do not attempt to bite off more than you can swallow.

Otherwise, RIP (Rot In Pain).

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Waiting for login.yahoo.com

Still here. Still waiting...

26 June 2006

Hirsch and the moonbats

A great post by Dan of Muscular Liberals. Enjoy.

Approved by Al Jazeera - see under "Culture"

Yes, this is the tag Al Jazeera has chosen for the article Conspiracy theorists meet over 9/11.

They wore T-shirts asking What Really Happened?, snapped up DVDs titled 9/11; The Great Illusion, and cheered as physicists, philosophers and terrorism experts decried the official version of the September 11 attacks.

About 1,200 people gathered at a hotel in Los Angeles over the weekend for what organisers billed as the largest conference on the plethora of conspiracy theories that see the 2001 attacks on Washington and New York as, at best, official negligence, and at worst an orchestrated US attempt to incite world war.

I can easily imagine the atmosphere of intellectual challenge, excitement and the unprecedented level of lunacy generated by 1,200 of the best and finest. I would love to watch the unabridged recording of the public appearances as well.

I sincerely hope that APA has used this rare opportunity to study the behavior of this gathering, since it is not an everyday occurrence when so many fruitcakes get together and interact in a relatively small place of their own free will.

What I really want to know is how this large group manages to reconcile the 1,200 different versions out of this "plethora of conspiracy theories"? The article gives out a free example:

Most are convinced the U.S. military command "stood down" on the day of the attack, that the hijackers were trained at American military bases, and that the World Trade Center towers collapsed because of a series of controlled explosions set before they were hit by two hijacked planes.

So the towers were attacked by the American-trained highjackers and blown up by controlled explosions. I wonder whether IDF bulldozers were involved - to insure the results?

To give more weight to his ravings, one of the chief fruitcakes - Alex Jones uses a subtle and soft selling approach:

There are so many prominent people who are incredibly well-respected who have stated that the evidence is overwhelming that 9/11 was an inside job.

Introducing a new level of respect: "incredible". Is it that the respect level is so high as to be incredible or the mere fact that these anonymous "people" are respected is incredible? Of course, Alex does not mention any names, hoping that the future compiler of the list of the "incredibly well-respected people" will include him into this category.

Now to business, dear fruitcakes. The following quote is ringing an alarm bell in the Elders' HQ:

Suggested motives range from expected benefits for U.S. arms and oil conglomerates to revolutionary plans for a new world order headed by the United States.

Granted, the alarm bell is a very weak and minor one, on the scale between a cockroach farting and a tree falling somewhere in the forest. However, the things must be done well or not done at all, so: the Elders do not mind any and all of you fruitcakes and will be only happy to see the number of conspiracy theories per single member of your team grow without any limits.

However, beware: the world order is already here since year 2000 and it is not going to change, unless the Elders so decide. US or no US. And blabbing about any new world order may be detrimental to your health. So take care and do not overstep the blue/white line. Remember this:

At ease.

More Mondial

I know, I know - it shall stop around July 9th or when Brazil loses, whichever comes first.

Anyway: England 1 - 0 Ecuador

  • Still no fussball.
  • But the fans (those not arrested yet) sing beautifully. A singing prison comes to mind.
  • And where was the undernourished giraffe? Missing the entertainment value.
  • That Rooney character - besides playing Medusa Gorgona with the judges, any possibility of action?

Portugal 1 - 0 Netherlands
  • A meat processing plant in the vicinity would have been helpful.
  • Russian as a peacemaker - possibly, but has to be armed to the teeth.
  • It's good that it ended.

25 June 2006

African queens in Israel

Nigeria is not all about the e-mail scam industry, as this article tells. Take a good look:

I wanted to research the subject a bit more, and surfed a bit. Due to limited time and fear of possible reprisals, I shall only point you in the right direction.

Oh boy...

400 England fans freed in Germany

Grave mistake.

Don't Germans have some streets to sweep? Some roads to build? Some Portacabins to clean?

Look who worries about efficacy

Not that I think he should, ever. Aussie Dave a.k.a. Israellycool may be totally deluding himself about football, and it is understandable - after all the misfortune of being born on the underside of the globe... oh no, I am getting in the rut again. Anyway, his blog efficacy should not be questioned.

But he asks you all to answer a simple question. So please click and answer. Or else.

After you perform this task, do not deny yourself the pleasure to read this post by same Aussie Dave. It fairly cracked me up today. Enjoy!

The porcupine that roared

Northwest England is in state of alert:

People in northwest England are being warned not to approach a porcupine which reportedly burrowed out of a farm visitors centre and is now on the loose.Twinkle, a three-foot (0.9-metre) long female, escaped from her enclosure at Eden Ostrich World near Penrith, on Saturday, prompting warnings because her detachable, poison-filled quills can become embedded in skin, BBC Online reported.

This is a picture of a porcupine:

There is a sentence at the end of the same article that puts the story in perspective:

Twinkle's disappearance came after some British newspapers said police had received reports of a tiger on the loose in Yorkshire, northern England.

This is a picture of a tiger:

Apparently Twinkle decided to go for the big game. In order to avoid unnecessary shooting, it may be advisable to distribute the two pictures above to some trigger-happy members of the Special Branch.

And this is a quote from the... OK, you shall know:

Anchovy: Well I ... I've seen them at the zoo.

counselor: Good, good, good.

Anchovy: Lively brown furry things with short stumpy legs and great long noses. I don't know what all the fuss is about, I could tame one of those. They look pretty tame to start with.

counselor: And these, er, these lions ... how high are they?

Anchovy: (indicating a height of one foot) Well they're about so high, you know. They don't frighten me at all.

counselor: Really. And do these lions eat ants?

Anchovy: Yes, that's right.

counselor: Er, well, Mr Anchovy ... I'm afraid what you've got hold of there is an anteater.

Anchovy: A what?

24 June 2006

The timebomb of fraudulent demography

It seems to be exploding right now, albeit in slow motion. A new non-lethal armament, leaving many people with egg (of a rotten variety) on their faces.

Kudos to Daled Amos.

Clowns Used To Treat Infertility

A smasher of a new method to increase fertility rates has been discovered, it appears.

A team of Israeli scientists yesterday revealed that laughter may indeed be the best medicine, particularly when it comes to treating infertility. Doctors at the Assaf Harofeh Medical Centre in Zerifin have been administering regular doses of 'clowning around' to women receiving IVF treatment. And according to their findings more than a third of patients exposed to the frolics of red-nosed, floppy-shoed comics became pregnant, compared to just 19 percent of those in a fun-free zone.

There is a question that begs to be asked, but we better not. Anyhow, if these red noses ...

Who cares? Good job!

Wrong photo?

CNN posted an article on the aftermath of the cartoon protests in London.

Four men have appeared in a British court charged in connection with a heated protest in London against Danish cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed which sparked uproar in the Islamic world earlier this year.

All well and good, and some rubble rousers could do with a chill out in the nick. There is another link in that article, however, that leads to a picture gallery titled "Muslim protests" (cannot be linked directly). We think there is a mix-up that resulted in a wrong picture getting into the gallery:

Surely the above picture is related to something entirely different.

Tens of thousands of Israelis flocked to the mixed Arab-Jewish town of Neveh Shalom last night for the single performance by the British rock star - the founder of Pink Floyd, which produced the legendary album The Wall.

An estimated 50,000 gathered in a hastily prepared outdoor venue in a field near Neveh Shalom, which is located between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. Hours before the performance, cars were gridlocked in all directions in one of Israel's worst traffic jams ever.

So here.

23 June 2006

Some exercises in geometry


Steve of It's Almost Supernatural adds a few good questions to that loooong story. Enjoy.

Letter to al-Zawahiri

After the latest al-Zawahiri video surfaced in the media, an unnamed intelligence agency intercepted a package addressed to the fugitive. Apparently, the package was sent by al-Zawahiri's senior wife. A short letter was enclosed, we have obtained its translation.

My dear lord and husband,

I am using this opportunity to send you a letter with the neighbors' boy Abdallah, who is going to Afghanistan to become a martyr* for the cause. I have seen your picture on TV in the internet cafe, and my heart stopped beating. You are so pale, my dear husband - it seems that all these years in a cave made your skin look like one of these British or American infidels, but please do not get angry with me for saying this. And that yellow circle on your forehead: Osama (more about him later) says that it could be from a laser sight. I do not know what this means, but please be careful when out of the cave.

We are doing well, do not worry about us. Of course, the money you send runs out too quickly, what with feeding all these 23 children, but we do with what we have. I have learned to bake a camel dung pie you will like very much, I put a piece of it in the package.

Our daughter Mabrouka is already nine years old and I have given her a blessing to become the third wife of Mahmoud, son of the Hussein the cobbler. It is true that Mahmoud is blind on one eye and drags his left foot a bit, but he already has six children and his father still employs him.

I am enclosing a picture of our son Saddam, he is three years old. He looks just like you when a light falls on his face in a certain way. It is true that I have not seen you for the last eight years, but this is an Allah's miracle that puts to shame that silly story the Christian infidels tell about their "immaculate conception". Tell you more when we meet.

Osama sends you his greetings, he visits me on his way to the clinic in Switzerland where they cut his face twice each year to make him look like someone else. The last time they made him look like some infidel named Newt Gingrich. Don't know who this Gingrich is, but Osama laughed a lot about it for some reason.

I think maybe it is a good idea for you too. I am enclosing a few pictures of infidels. The one with the long hair - Orlando Bloom - may suit you very well, although there are some rumors that he may be Jewish, so it is up to you, of course.

You loving wife,
[signature illegible]

(*) Abdallah went off prematurely, as a result of pulling the cord by mistake when trying to swat a fly. The fly and Abdallah's camel perished as well.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Keening for Cindy - a bitter end of the marriage

The news struck like thunder: Cindy, the best and the biggest dolphin of the Eilat Reef, dies of an undiagnosed malady. He lived a long life and left many offspring. He will be remembered fondly by his friends and wives.

Ynet reported the news of Cindy's marriage to that British lady less than 6 months ago, and nothing indicated that a disaster is looming.

"I'm the happiest girl on earth," the bride said as she chocked back tears of emotion. "I made a dream come true, and I am not a pervert," she stressed.

Tendler said she and her newly wed husband will probably spend their wedding night bowling.

The only possible note of discord in the quote above was that reference to bowling. Unless the reporter misheard or misunderstood the last word (which is probably the case, after all the bride was talking about the wedding night): we know for a fact that Cindy stated explicitly many times that he hates bowling.

We have decided to send our own investigator to discover a possible cause of the tragic death. He interviewed Cindy's friends and relatives, and a startling new picture develops from the witness reports. Here are some of the most revealing statements:

Sophie - one of the Cindy's ex-wives:

"You must understand that after 10 years of marriage to Cindy it was hard to be treated by him like a total stranger. During our random encounters he looked sideways, like he did not see me. But I know that he felt my presence perfectly well, I could see the signs [the witness blushes]! This new-fangled monogamy of his, curse it!"

Butch - Cindy's close friend and confidant:

"I am Cindy's bestest buddy, ya all know this. And I can tell you - something was not kosher with that marriage. Nice Jewish girl, rich, clever - but with all that Cindy would have been much better off staying with his girls and with his buddies here. Cindy still told me everything, you know what I mean, after all he was my bestest buddy [the witness winks]. Take these pajamas - several times he complained to me that he hates it when she buys him both the top and the bottom part. Cindy always hated to sleep in the bottoms. Or these business trips and headaches of her - what self-respecting dolphin that was used to ten wives, will not be pissed off by that attitude, if you know what I mean? She plain dissed Cindy.

And this food? Come on - vegan diet for a man like Cindy? I can tell you Cindy was not used to crap like this. Not only was he swallowing like a ton of fish every day before getting married, he used to snack on any seagull stupid enough to get too close. And more, which I cannot go into now, you know what I mean?"

Skippy - another Cindy's friend:

"Feck it all - this meidaleh plain finished Cindy off. I tell you - she come again here, I shall personally tear her to pieces. Zol eich azoy leibn. All these artsy-fartsy schticks of hers, all these haughty airs she put on. Come on, I gave her a slap on her behind, friendly like, you should have seen the production she made out of it. Cindy almost choked on a spinach pie (yeah, this is the dreck she forced him to eat). Oy vey. Feck it."

Shmuel - rabbi of the dolphin community of the Eilat Reef:

"I have been flippergasted when Cindy swam to me and told me he intends to marry this human girl. Listen, bubele, I said, she is a nice Jewish girl, it is true. It is not like you slunk away to Saudi coast and brought us a shikse. But she is human, for whales sake! And white! What would your mother (PBUH) say if she knew? She would bite you father's flipper off! But no, he does not want to listen, this young putz. And I told Miriam (that's my wife, may she live to be sixty) - Miriam, I said, it will all end in tears, I feel it in my kishkes."

And it all ended in tears.

Australia 2 - 2 Croatia

Congratulations to Aussies. I understand that some minor butchery was involved and that FIFA is considering arming the referees now, but so what?

Brazil 4 - 1 Japan


22 June 2006

Ain't we mixed up?

A new outstanding search string arrived today from UK:

"Football player with quranic verses written on his arm"

Dear Sir/Madam,

As an acting speaker of the Elders, I am authorized to make the following statement:

We dealt with a case of the Quranic verses appearing on a tuna fish of a mediocre size. The tuna in question has subsequently disappeared, only to serve some needy family in its prime role - as a food item. Due to insignificant size of the fish and its accordingly low value as a source of sustenance, we did not pursue the issue further.

We are aware of only one case of a football player's hand of religious significance. This is the case of Diego Armando Maradona, otherwise known as "Hand Of God" (HOG), but the god in this case does not match the parameters you are interested in. On the other hand, nutritional value of said Maradona could be classified as very high, especially during the periods of indulgence. However, we did not act upon this due to high concentration of alien substances in his flesh, making him too toxic for consumption by a human.

However, modern science cannot reject out of hand appearance of Quranic verses on the arm of this or other person. Especially if the person is consumed by religious zeal and happens to pass near a tattoo parlor in this state.

In any case, if you happen to find out which football player happens to have Quranic (or other) religious verses on his arm (or any other appendage, for that matter), please let us know. We'll provide the capture, handling and shipping, cooking utensils and all the necessary species and such. Of course, the specimen will pass rigorous checks for toxicity and quality.

Your ever dominating

Aussie's heavy boots.

No, this is not Mondial related. I know I am obsessed with Mondial, but I promise it will be over as soon as Brazil takes the cup. Or gets thrown out (no, god, please no!).

Anyway, this is about the Australian ingenuity as it is described in this article.

A court in Canberra yesterday sentenced an employee of the country's national mint to three years in prison for smuggling thousands of two-dollar coins home by storing them in his boots and lunch box. William Bosia Grzeskowiak, a 48-year-old worker at the Royal Australian Mint, pleaded guilty to stealing more than AUD 135,000 (BP 79,700) over a 10-month period last year after police found buckets filled with coins hidden in his mother's garage.

The guy got too greedy, most probably, and got caught due to excessive clinking that even the most lazy guard could not ignore anymore. And his second mistake was not to upgrade to paper bills in time.

One should not rest on his laurels but strive for continuous progress and improvement.

And now back to the Mondial (I know, I have promised, but it is beyond me). That Aussie with heavy boots - any connection to the heavy boot approach of Aussie's team to my beloved Brazilians?

The other end of a seesaw

The dust raised by a senile old coot of the left has barely started to settle, and here a malignant toad on the right joins the fray. Bradley Burston caught up with the idiot:

Referring to Sderot resident's anguished meetings Monday with President Moshe Katsav, himself once the mayor of a northern Negev town, and Defense Minister Amir Peretz, still a resident of Sderot, Huberman wrote:

"Yesterday it became clear that there are residents - it is unclear of they are many or few - who cannot stand up to the emotional strain of the Qassam rockets, and who have started packing up and escaping to safer areas.

"With all sympathy to the residents of Sderot, it is impossible not to recall those who certainly were in the place of the Sderot residents, but residents of Sderot are far from reaching their place, the heroes of Gush Katif."

Says Bradley:

In the end, Huberman's view came uncomfortably close to the direction of Peres' remarks.

Bradley is a very polite person. I am rather a Goon, so here is the battle cry of the day:

Idiots of the left and right - unite!

21 June 2006

The ultimate offence of Islam?

If you thought that showing the Israeli flag to Iranians is the tops, think again. Saudi blogger Farah got wise to another offence, much more serious, although it is Mondial-related too. Enjoy.

Clarification to "England 2 - 2 Sweden" post

"JC is supposed to be Jewish. Why would he favor the English team over the Swedes?"

JC favors neither. He started his early career at Hopoel Galilee as a goalie, where the fans first coined the chant 'Jesus saves'. He ended up betraying his allegiance by transferring to Maccabe Nazareth for a superior sack of Shekels. The Hapoel Mapainiks would have none of this, and grassed him out to the Governing Body who nailed him good and proper and put him up on charges.

"And is it somehow related to the inexplicable fact that most of Israeli sport commentators are ardent fans of England?"

Nope. Like most Israelis, the commentators are triggered by the very same kibutznik "fuck the Swedes" reflex. Sweden/Swedes are inherently associated with eager, ready volunteers. So when Israelis say fuck the Swedes, they're not really cheering for Engerlaaaaaand.

Then there's that NATO exercise thingy…

"Does Sir David travel with his makeup team/hairdresser? And how does he keep his coiffure unruffled during the game?"

He isn't a Sir. He's an OBE, which basically means that HRH acknowledges his existence, but may not actually know who he is, or what he does. He produces his own hairstyling product, from an original idea first demonstrated by Cameron Diaz on the film "There's Something About Mary".

"Explain Rooney, please"

Hydrocephalus, coupled with over-production of Testosterone .

England 2 - 2 Sweden

A few questions to my fellow English bloggers:

  1. JC is supposed to be Jewish. Why would he favor the English team over the Swedes? And is it somehow related to the inexplicable fact that most of Israeli sport commentators are ardent fans of England?
  2. Does Sir David travel with his makeup team/hairdresser? And how does he keep his coiffure unruffled during the game?
  3. Explain Rooney, please?
  4. Where does Crouch end?

Cospiracy della cospirazione

Or, in simple words - a conspiracy of conspiracies. This is really what the gullible Guardian journalist mistakenly describes as Police strike at heart of mafia averts bloody power struggle.

A bloody mafia power struggle appears to have been narrowly averted after dawn raids across the Sicilian capital of Palermo yesterday netted 24 alleged Cosa Nostra "godfathers", including a mobster said by investigators to be trying to take over as the next capo di tutti i capi ("boss of all bosses").

And more:

The investigation took its codename from the Almanach de Gotha, the directory of Europe's nobility, an allusion to the number of "crime lords" targeted. Altogether, 52 arrest warrants were issued to police before yesterday's raids.

Doesn't it sound too romantic and pompous to be what it is presented to be? Come on! After the previous capo di tutti i capi has been caught almost with his pants down?

No, ladies and gentlemen, the truth is much more sinister. I say this is a plot by the leading Italian movie producers and directors to beat the Godfather. And here is the proof, looking directly in the poor scribe's eyes:

A convicted mafioso, Rotolo was meant to be so ill he could no longer be kept in jail. So police secretly videoing the area...

Police video, indeed!

20 June 2006

Mondial - the Zionists strike again

As if the Israeli flag brandished by the Ghana's team player was not enough to piss of the whole Muslim world, the Portuguese fans added fuel to the conflagration. And in a match with Iranians, of all the blue (and white) world!

Nuno Guerreiro of Rua da Judaria tells the story. I will show the picture here in hope he will not object:

I can imagine Mahmoud A. pissing razor blades...

Er... there is that flag on the right side of this blog - click on it... no, leave it alone, it's too much for now.

Another version of Zarqawi's present

That last piece of news on Zarqawi's marital status may be exaggerated. Live from Australia - the latest chronicles of the "martyr's" situation.

It appears that between the other things the stiff was bad at, his dancing abilities are somewhat lacking. Well, he is a stiff...

But he surely knew to cut throats of tied down innocents.

A musical, some religion and a mystery

Ynet tells a yarn that could become a basis for a four-five acts musical comedy. Follows the list of selected participants:

Hananel Dayan: a snot-nosed youngster who refused to shake the hand of Chief of Staff.

The soldier cited the fact that his family was evacuated from Gaza during last summer's disengagement as the reason for his refusal to acknowledge the army chief's gesture.

Dan Halutz: a battle hardened hero and the current top dog of IDF, who decided, for some unfathomable reason, to make a big production of not being allowed to shake the above mentioned youngster's hand.

Sergeant Hananel Dayan, the decorated Israel Defense Forces soldier who caused a furor last week when he refused to shake hands with IDF Chief of Staff Dan Halutz "to protest the expulsion" of settlers from the Gaza Strip, was expelled from his unit.

Nobel Prize winning professor Yisrael Aumann who thought that this historic case demands an opinion of a first caliber scientific mind.

"There is a Bolshevist trend here. It must be opposed through all means and with all our strength," said Aumann.

And, of course, a politician (you cannot do without one): MK Arie Eldad of a staunchly rightist opinion.

During the meeting, Knesset Member Arieh Eldad (National Union-National Religious Party) welcomed Dayan's act, saying: "He guaranteed his life in the world to come."

Since I cannot do anything about music (childhood trauma, do not ask, please), I shall at least give you an outline of a libretto:

  1. A stupid, but principled, youngster - $1
  2. A Chief of Staff in a tantrum - $2.50
  3. A politician who discovered afterlife - $1.80
  4. A Nobel pricewinner going bonkers - priceless
Now, where is the mystery I have promised? There is another quote from the same MK:

Knesset Member Eldad said: "We came to honor Hananel... There is a deep rift between the people and the army. But we are being drafted into the army, we want the State of Israel to go on. I'm not willing to give up on the State and the flag. It is ours and we won't give up until they leave."

And the mystery is in the last statement: who are "they" that are supposed to leave? The people? The army? The State? The flag?

The first person to come up with the correct answer shall receive a Bolshevik repellent (spray, consult your physician before use). I am already using it since reading that quote by the professor. Probably I caught a few Bolsheviks somewhere or other, my body is itching all over.

Cleric: Zarqawi's wedding with virgins has begun

From Ynet:

As news of the death of Iraqi al-Qaeda terror chief Abu Musab al-Zarqawi filtered through jihadist internet forums, many members of radical organizations expressed 'joy' at what they described as Zarqawi's 'martyrdom' and imminent 'wedding' with virgins. Sheikh Omar Bakri, a top pro al-Qaeda jihadist preacher who is based in Lebanon, and who has a number of disciples in Britain, was quoted by one of his followers on the UK-based Muntadaa internet forum as saying that al-Zarqawi is now being 'married' to virgins in heaven, the fate he said awaited 'martyrs' of Islam.

I wonder, could we send a present to the newlyweds via the good services of the learned Sheikh? He will be able to use the opportunity to partake of the supply of the virgins (or raisins or Virginians, as the case may be).

P.S. As an aside: the Blogger spell checker tries to translate "Zarqawi" into "carcass". Let's see:

Noun: carcass

The dead body of an animal especially one slaughtered and dressed for food

I am not that sure about eating Zarqawi, unless one is a worm, but otherwise - bull's eye!

A muzzle, somebody, please!

Our minister of defense promised to stop the Qassam barrage "in a few hours" yesterday. So far we are still counting the hours. But promise of a minister is only what it is - a promise of a minister.

On the other hand... no, actually on both hands: Olmert has a serious problem with his vice- (or deputy- or who the heck knows-) PM Shimon Peres. According to Haaretz:

Vice premier Shimon Peres (Kadima) on Monday voiced skepticism over the reaction of the government and the citizens of Israel to Qassam rockets.

"We have to stop the hysteria we are all rousing. Instead, we must say: 'We will get through this, we won't leave here.' What happened? Qassams, shmassams! Kiryat Shmona was also fired upon for years."

This is one turbulent priest (of geriatric variety), whom I wouldn't mind seeing pensioned off. Or simply muzzled, for public safety reasons. Ideas, anyone?

19 June 2006

First there was the word...

The latest Haveil Havelim is chockfull of interesting posts. I have started going through the list, but got to a screeching halt at two posts by Batya of Shiloh Musings.

I know it's bad form to argue with a fellow Israeli blogger. Some of the bloggers prefer to avoid this at all costs, ignoring the differences in favor of the principles that unite us. Unfortunately, sometimes one must do what one must do. As a matter of fact, I have already reflected on Batya's no nonsense and no prisoners taken attitude to the matter of the High Court of Justice that got a righteous trashing by Batya for just being what it is.

To start with the review of these two posts: I rather like that fire and brimstone approach:

The Prime Minister and movers and shakers are in a manic frenzy, like some bulimic anorexics, convinced that they're burdened with unnecessary and dangerous fat.

Leaving aside the observation that the above quote is a bit of a mixed metaphor (after all the only frenzied activity a bulimic anorexic is able to display is when getting to a suitable position for a barf), it is certainly a clear statement that does not leave any room for doubt about Batya's attitude.

Following this broadside by the mandatory lecture about the puny Israel surrounded by huge enemies and a reminder about Qassams falling around, Batya delivers the next slap to the minister of defence, that is busily plotting against our settlers instead of doing his job.

Taking care of the terrorists is not important according to Peretz's priorities. He's too busy planning how to destroy more Jewish communities and exile more innocent Israeli citizens from their homes. This of course is instead of protecting Israeli citizens from Arab rockets and Arab terrorism.

There are a lot of additional slaps Batya distributes freely, but at least she puts some balm on the resulting wounds by celebrating the lowering fertility rate among Israeli Arab women. She also avoids taking us all to task for the neglect of Iran.

I know that I've been ignoring Iran. We just have so many other problems.

Thanks deity for this, at least... But why is that we are suffering Batya's wrath? It is simple, and the answer could be found in that second (earlier) post. In it Batya takes us all to task for the lack of daring and for three deadly sins: morality, pragmatism and democracy. No more and no less. According to Batya, it seems, freed from these three sins we'd have conquered the world.

She uses the Parshat Shlach Lecha - The Case of the Holy Sinners to drive her point. This is what she says about the spies:

They weren't sent for a "pragmatic analysis" of the relative defensive and military strength, and demographic predictions according to the Egyptian supreme court...

More is the pity, Batya. If they have done all that really on the level, like a good preliminary study, we may have ended up to the north of where we are now, more or less where the modern Turkey is (all that water and straddling the straits) or, vice versa, to the south, where Saudis sit on all this oil. See what I mean?

I wouldn't bore the reader by too many quotes from this fiery post, coming to the concluding paragraph:

There are three things that endanger us:

  • pragmatism
  • democracy
  • morality
Continuing Batya's line of thought, one could understand that an immoral, tyrannical and impractical king is our only salvation. If I understand Batya's drift, this king will be responsible only to the Creator (and, of course, the Sanhedrin as Creator's earthly ambassador).

I don't know, Batya. For some reason your plan is too similar to the model that is currently being entertained by these Iranian folks. You know, the ones you did not want to deal with in the previous post.

...do you really want to live behind barbed wire in a ghetto?

I really don't know what to answer, Batya. Between the barbed wire we put up between us and our neighbors and the barbed wire that king of yours will undoubtedly prepare for some of us - I really don't know (OK, I know, but make a guess).

So I do not have an alternative, but to repeat myself: be well, Batya, and do not play politics. Se geit shtark shlecht.

18 June 2006

Brazil 2 - 0 Australia

I do remember my experience when, as a 10-12 years old child, I have tried to get a hermit crab that I caught myself out of his shell. The tenacious bastard resisted for about 15 minutes and almost bit off my finger in the process.

Why I am telling this story? Old age senility, I guess.

In any case, the truck with 5 metric tons of humble bagels is unloading in Ben-Gurion airport as we talk, soon to be on the way to you know who.

The tragedy on the Gaza beach

I am touching upon this subject with mixed feelings. There is no doubt that what happened is a tragedy, no matter who caused the death of the family: IDF shell or Hamas mine.

The subject of an independent inquiry into the facts of the Gaza beach killings is bandied as a central to the whole issue. Judy of Adloyada analyses the issue, making a strong case against such inquiry. Norm has another opinion on this.

I am not at all sure that IDF report is of value. Military all over the world are past masters of whitewashing, and the famous "omerta" of Sicilian mafia has nothing on the unwritten military code of sudden mental paralysis of all parties involved in an investigation of a wrongdoing by their own. On the other hand, the myth of the "independent" inquiry is no less absurd, as Judy has shown in that post. But the crucial point is that, no matter what the conclusions of the inquiry (any inquiry) will be, they will be summarily rejected by the party the accusing finger will point to.

I am listening to the heated discussions on Israeli TV and radio, with politicians of different ilk saying precisely what is expected of them, reading/watching foreign media with politicians and other interested parties blaming or defending this or other side. The strange thing is that the intensity of the discussion and its focus on the issue of guilt assignment are such that an outside observer may deduce that an extraordinary event occurred between two generally friendly countries, and the moment this event comes to a conclusion and the facts are established, peace and calm shall return to reign again.

This self-delusion is worthy of an in-depth psychiatric research, but how about looking the truth in the eyes for a few seconds? Gaza was vacated by IDF in the hope that, as a model of a newly hatched independent Palestinian society it will be also a model of the neighborhood relationships and peaceful co-existence of the two states.

Unfortunately, our neighbors are intent on proving the opposite, and instead of peaceful co-existence we have a war on our hands. And if anyone has a hope that the Gaza beach tragedy is the last of its kind, that anyone is either seriously deluded or trying to delude.

Instead of wasting UN time and money on this investigation, Koffi Anan will do more good trying to explain this to our Gazan neighbors and to their supporters. No sham ceasefire will be enough, and while the steady rain of Qassams, border attacks and other attempts to kill more Jooz continue, the war will continue. And the tragic stories of the kind we are discussing here will happen again and again.

As it happens, I have just received a link (hat tip to Andrew Ian Dodge) to an article by Perry de Havilland that I completely agree with.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Kitten meets boa constrictor

Superiority of felines over most of the other life forms is widely known (at least to the initiated). CNN provides a clip about another case when a representative of the felines manages quite nicely, thank you, in a contact with another life form.

Unwittingly this clip provides proof that in some cases, at least, felines are superior to their so called "masters" as well. Watch and enjoy the pierced pair.

17 June 2006

Saddam and Osama

Watch this funny clip here.

IFAQ - new edition

These posts will be titled from now on IFAQ - InFrequently asked question, after all these are the real pearls one gets diving deep into the murky waters of virtual surfing with assistance of SiteMeter.

Q: What is the spawn of the devil?

A: We do not confess to anything on Shabes.

Q: Rabbit meat in kuala Lumpur?

A: Go for it, but do not blame us afterward.

Q: "rapture" "order to evacuate"?

A: Not yet, the order will be sent by the usual means.

Q: Jews in the current bush administration?

A: All of them. We are monitoring the situation 24x7. Not to worry.

Q: What does this mean give me liberty or give me death?

A: This expression underwent some transformations lately. Today, if your boss tells you to go to hell, you are free to go wherever you want.

Q: Ben Bernanke Mossad?

A: Surely not - Mossad is for routine day-to-day domination. Ben Bernanke is one of the Elders!

Q: Tuna kosher or not?

A: It depends who is asking. Call us off-line, please.

Q: Break down themaiden hood?

A: If you mean TheMaiden, she will break you in two before you even get to the business. Otherwise - we are not doctor Ruth here.

Q: What did the elders probably look for when appointing a muezzin?

There is a detailed manual on this subject. Every muezzin, mufti, sheikh, ayatollah, etc. is chosen according to a strictly set list of characteristics. It will be too boring to list all of them, so briefly:

  1. He must be of impeccable Jewish ancestry, for these jobs even a gentile father (grandfather) is not acceptable.
  2. Must totally identify with the goals and methodology of the Elders.
  3. Expert in poisons, firearms and domination of all life forms.
  4. Ready to marry 4 women with all the consequences.
  5. Knowledge of Quran - advantage.
P.S. And use the capital E in the "Elders", you dumbo! Your life is at stake here.

David Hirsch, LittleMalik, slow weekend...

From a lengthy discussion of CiF post by David Hirsch:


June 16, 2006 07:17 PM

David Hirsh "It is quite fashionable at the moment for people to announce that they are no longer part of the left." Of course the most fashionable way in which to announce that you are no longer a part of the left is to become a signatory of David's 'Euston Manifesto' which is a lengthy apologia for US imperialism and Jewish settler-colonialism masquerading as utterly facetious concern for gay rights.

David's 'Euston Manifesto', which is... Oy vey...


June 16, 2006 07:29 PM

...if muslims in Britain seek to change British society, they do so only by example or the force of intellectual argument.

Does one laugh or cry reading this? Or just gets a stiff drink? Opinions welcome.

16 June 2006

Nuclear scoop - directly from Khamenai

Remember - you have first learned about it here, so do not let any mass media running lackey dog of capitalism, imperialism and Zionism to tell you differently.

IRNA reports that no other than the Supreme Leader himself decided to come out and to confess that the nuclear technology was developed in Persia hundreds (thousands?)of years ago.

The passage copied above deserves additional analysis, but later. First of all, the item of utmost importance: "indigenous nuclear technology". This statement finally discloses the fact the Elders suspected for many years: nuclear technology was not researched in Europe to be later implemented in US first. It existed for thousands of years in Persia, being passed from generation to generation by word of mouth and via the highly specialized N-gene, which existence was predicted by some biologists, but was never proved to this day.

We'll learn more about this story, but what is clear is that, as expected, Iranian President finally got the word from the Hidden Imam. And the word was: " Go ahead and blow up at will".

Needless to say, this discovery puts to eternal shame the Zionist innuendo about that stooge of the Elders - Einstein - having something to do with theoretical fundamentals for the nuclear energy. There is only one fundament necessary - firm belief in the words of Quran. No measly physical theory is needed, when every Allah-fearing Persian carries that nuclear ability from the moment of his birth.

Now some more textual analysis. The meaning of the strange notice on the upper right corner: "Iran Supreme Leader - Nuclear" is clear now. The Supreme Leader decided to become the first Persian to use the N-gene to the utmost and switched himself from the "neutral" position to "armed". Pissing him off right now may be detrimental to the environment. He could go off at the slightest disturbance.

And re his advice to the Iranian youth that "should expand in various directions": it may be a good idea, but the time and the place should be stated precisely. I am not sure the Supreme Leader wants the ardent Iranian youngsters to go nuclear in Iran. But in his highly volatile state he may have forgotten to convey the small details of the master plan.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

The truth will out!

We, the Elders, are happy to see that our newly adopted policy of openness is working. The "news" of Elders' domination of the world are slowly, but surely seeping through even the thickest skulls.

Take, for instance, this case of partial recognition of the fact:

Of course, this is but a small fragment of the whole story. It should start with:


continue through 1,765 major and 34,982 minor wars and end with the currently pursued project:

"BRAZIL + ZIONISM = 6th WORLD CUP". So here.

One thing for sure: we could not figure out this one (click to enlarge):

We have checked everything: the archives, the current activities and even the garbage bins. There is no hint about this story. So we cannot confess to this atrocity, with all our openness.

To see the whole shebang, go to this place by Nordish.

to Dan of Muscular Liberals.

15 June 2006

Mondial again

Ecuador 3-0 Costa Rica

Since I have missed the murderous flamenco by Spain yesterday, today's homicidal rumba by Ecuador was the most satisfactory game so far. Hurray to Ecuador!

England 2-0 Trinidad & Tobago

It was akin to watching a bad case of constipation (with a happy end) in slow motion.

Sweden 1-0 Paraguay

Two cases of constipation? That was really too much. One useful thing learned, though: if you happen to encounter 10 2-meter Swedes in strange yellow uniforms running at you with murder in the eyes, just step aside at the last moment. They will continue to run for another mile with the same murder in the same eyes...

Dedicated to PooterGeek.

Idle thoughts of a blogger, sumo Hassids and that rabbi

The blogger in question suffers from a bout of hay fever, which does not add clarity to his thoughts.

Anyway, here is the question: if blogger A links to a post by blogger B that is linked back to a post by blogger A, and a disciplined surfer follows the links, could it possibly create an infinite number of hits and put both blogger A and blogger B in the bloggers' hall of fame?

No, don't answer. Instead, be a good surfer and follow the link to this post by Akaky that, as it frequently happens, made my day a bit more acceptable. As the days go, this one is not the one to tell one's mother about, but now it could be ranked "acceptable".

If you skipped the link, here is a passage from that post to make you go back and click on it:

The fact that over the millennia various and sundry Christian denominations have turned a first century Jewish rabbi given to whacking currency arbitrageurs over the collective noggin with a knotted rope into a somewhat Aryanish, granola eating, blue-eyed pseudo-gay wimp spouting the sort of Chinese fortune cookie wisdom that would embarrass the most completely stoned spectator you could find wandering around the parking lot after a Grateful Dead concert, has, I think, gone a long way to reinforcing this obviously mistaken belief that Jesus of Nazareth was some sort of theological Liberace, minus, of course, the excessively campy wardrobe.

I, personally, always had in mind Richard Clyderman, but then Akaky is a photographer as well, and with an eye (or, possibly, two eyes) that anyone should envy, so I will go with Liberace.

Now go back and click on that link, and if you don't, may Microsoft discover that you are using a pirated Windows ME and shut down all your ports.

Yes, children, go to school

Schools are good for you. Even if you do not become a scientist, the school will somehow or other develop your social skills, lead you to some sports, give you an initial understanding that boys are not to be looked upon with disdain or that girls are not just animated dolls that cry when pulled by their hair. You have a good chance to become a useful member of the society upon graduating, and in short - the whole world is yours.

But there are schools and then there are schools. Here is one specific school briefly described in an IHT article about the safe return of the "bomber sheikh" - Islamic cleric Abu Bakar Bashir to his hometown of Solo. To remind you who Bashir is:

An Indonesian court acquitted Bashir in March 2005 of seven terrorism charges involving the 2002 Bali nightclub bombings that killed 202 people, including 88 Australians, and the Marriott Hotel bombing in Jakarta in 2003. He was convicted of a conspiracy involving those bombings.

And here comes into the picture the school where Bashir is something of a spiritual father.

Students at the Islamic boarding school, Al Mukmin, where Bashir is revered as a spiritual leader, guarded streets along the approach to the school's front gates in preparation for their teacher's arrival, many of them dressed in army fatigues.

"He is the most Islamic man I know," said Abdul, 17, who has been attending Al Mukmin now for five years. "I am very happy about his being released. He is one of our founding fathers."

Several members of the Islamic organization Jemaah Islamiyah, and a number of people convicted here for their involvement in terrorist bombings, are graduates of Al Mukmin. The school now enrolls about 1,600 students, most of them male, from all over Indonesia.

Some school, indeed...

And I would bet that the social skills acquired by Abdul, who considers Bashir to be the most Islamic man he knows, will include ability to express his love to humanity in crowded places. With a lot of conviction and explosive force...

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Germany 1-0 Poland and others

They say that football is 90 minutes of sweat and then the Germans win. They also say that in September 1939 some valiant Poles attacked German Panzers on horses. Unfortunately, tanks are more persistent. Sorry for the warlike imagery.

Saudi Arabia 2-2 Tunisia. I don't know: 4 goals in that game still left me with an impression that I have seen some paint drying in a more exciting way. Does it make me an Islamophobe?

And, unfortunately, I have missed that Spain 4-0 Ukraine massacre.

On a related subject: CNN say A380 delivery delay irks Singapore. It's the Mondial, stupid! Brits, Germans and French just don't have time for it right now. And here a free advice: if you get a delivery on a date too close to the day when one of the partners loses a crucial game - check the thingie twice.

14 June 2006

Karma Nabulsi - can't Oxford do better?

The institutions of higher learning are usually selective when choosing their employees or granting an exalted status of fellow. It looks like at least in one case Oxford granted this latter status to a person with doubtful level of knowledge, albeit with a poisoned tongue and considerable skills in manipulation of history.

The note under the "Comment" article Despite the divisions, the national consensus holds in the Guardian tells about its author: "Karma Nabulsi is a politics fellow of St Edmund Hall, Oxford University, and a former PLO representative." It was my personal bad karma for today to become a reader of this opus.

Everything in the article is looked upon from the point of view of political correctness according to Arafat, and the subtitle of the article summarizes its main point:

The Palestinian strategy of negotiation and resistance is common to liberation movements.

There are three elements in the above that beg for a clarification:

1. Negotiation.

According to the deceased, it's a big show of good will. Usually not related to any real goals, proposals, acts or behavior aside of the intention to kill as many Jooz as possible on the side. Could be stopped for a better focus on "resistance" when convenient for any possible reason.

2. Resistance.

The definition of resistance also underwent a dramatic change in the hands of the deceased. Murdering unarmed civilians, at the same time in majority of the cases steadfastly keeping distance from the armed soldiers of the occupying forces. If not actually inventing the suicide bombing, at least creating a whole industry of "martyrs" that served as a shining example for others. Hiding behind the backs of innocent population and squeezing every PR drop out of the images of the killed and wounded innocents. Some resistance...

3. Similarity to other liberation movements.

It is interesting that in support of this (quite stupid) statement Ms Nabulsi, the learned fellow of politics, has chosen the ANC and Nelson Mandela. Interesting for several reasons, but the chief one is that ANC won due to the wise decision by its leaders to use non-violent opposition and to negotiate in good faith. Like other successful liberation movements (Indian freedom movement under Mahatma Gandhi, IRA), the solution to RSA apartheid was reached mainly thanks to non-violent opposition and appeal to the world public opinion.

That way has never suited Arafat who wanted to negotiate (or paying lip service), kill Jews and use (abuse) the world public opinion - all at the same time. This way has obviously not occured to our Karma...

Now read my lips, Karma: during the beginning of the nineties there were a lot of people (I confess to be one of them) who wanted to believe in a possibility of making peace with our neighbours and cousins through negotiations only. It was the solemn promise of your buddy Yasser, and no "resistance" string was attached to it. At least not publicly. Now you come out of the closet to tell us all this was a lie? Thanks, we already know it.

We stopped believing Arafat a long time ago. We prefer now to believe in what Hamas says. Maybe they cannot yet take their, mostly impotent, threats to the bank, but they, at least, are saying it straight - unlike their predecessors.

And tell you what, Karma: each Qassam, each suicide bombing attempt, each bullet shot to kill a passer-by, each knife stuck in the back of a Jew - reduce the number of us who still want to believe in a possibility of that oh so remote peace. Unfortunately, we are all becoming more and more united in our skepticism. And you and yours better beware of us when we are united. I am sorry to have to say it, but unfortunately I must...

Cross-posted on Yourish.com