17 June 2006

IFAQ - new edition

These posts will be titled from now on IFAQ - InFrequently asked question, after all these are the real pearls one gets diving deep into the murky waters of virtual surfing with assistance of SiteMeter.

Q: What is the spawn of the devil?

A: We do not confess to anything on Shabes.

Q: Rabbit meat in kuala Lumpur?

A: Go for it, but do not blame us afterward.

Q: "rapture" "order to evacuate"?

A: Not yet, the order will be sent by the usual means.

Q: Jews in the current bush administration?

A: All of them. We are monitoring the situation 24x7. Not to worry.

Q: What does this mean give me liberty or give me death?

A: This expression underwent some transformations lately. Today, if your boss tells you to go to hell, you are free to go wherever you want.

Q: Ben Bernanke Mossad?

A: Surely not - Mossad is for routine day-to-day domination. Ben Bernanke is one of the Elders!

Q: Tuna kosher or not?

A: It depends who is asking. Call us off-line, please.

Q: Break down themaiden hood?

A: If you mean TheMaiden, she will break you in two before you even get to the business. Otherwise - we are not doctor Ruth here.

Q: What did the elders probably look for when appointing a muezzin?

There is a detailed manual on this subject. Every muezzin, mufti, sheikh, ayatollah, etc. is chosen according to a strictly set list of characteristics. It will be too boring to list all of them, so briefly:

  1. He must be of impeccable Jewish ancestry, for these jobs even a gentile father (grandfather) is not acceptable.
  2. Must totally identify with the goals and methodology of the Elders.
  3. Expert in poisons, firearms and domination of all life forms.
  4. Ready to marry 4 women with all the consequences.
  5. Knowledge of Quran - advantage.
P.S. And use the capital E in the "Elders", you dumbo! Your life is at stake here.