31 January 2008

Winograd report for dummies

The noise around the Winograd Commission report is so deafening and the opinions (probably coming mostly from people who, like I, haven't read the report itself) are so widely and wildly different that I have decided to prepare a brief for myself and other dummies.

Let's start with the opinions. Of course, our gallant enemy, the Hezbollah and its valiant underground leader come first:

Hizbullah: Winograd report confirms IDF was defeated in Lebanon

Oh well, let's see his mug staying above ground for more than 2 hours... now to another clown:

Minister Haim Ramon: Opposition must apologize to PM
Ramon: War report vindicates Olmert

Apologize - what about and why? And the report doesn't exactly vindicate - just doesn't convict. Now to the unvidicated and unconvicted Olmert himself:

'Time to get back to business,' says Olmert

Sure, chief, you just want us all to forget and be happy, do you? And you are probably laughing your arse off hearing about some highly principled dorks like this one:

Kadima MK Itzchaky quits Knesset over war report

And you are brimming with happiness over headlines like:

Poll: Olmert's popularity up since Winograd published

And of course, nothing makes Olmert happier than that (relative) silence of your Likud rivals. They just don't know what to do, repeating their toothless "Olmert must go" that, in the circumstances, sounds quite pathetic.

And of course, some of the political fallout folks still cannot get in touch with reality:

Peretz blames predecessors for war's failings

Now, really, Mr Peretz - this is an old one, pull another leg, please. But let's look at the people who really matter, and this couldn't be joked about. The Winograd report says:

IDF put troops' safety over operational needs

But of course, the families of the fallen and the soldiers think differently:

Families, reservists upset with report
Reserve soldiers say Olmert 'lacks moral authority', must resign

There really is no contradiction: the weakest links in the Lebanon war seem to be these in the staff level chain of command.

So on one hand we have the outraged public demanding that the person on whose table the buck stops take the responsibility and go home. Which, on the moral side of it, would seem to be just the thing to do, no matter what the Winograd report says.

But on the formal side, while Winograd report does blame Olmert in many faults, the ultimate blame was put on the tables of IDF high command. And the top IDF brass, at least part of it, have already done what is expected of the officer found culpable - unlike their ultimate commander.

Well, what is left? Likud, nurturing their wounds caused by premature eja victory calls? They will recover, I guess. Hope springs eternal.

So, after this review - should Olmert resign or announce early election and with high level of probability vacate his chair to Bibi (or to Barak, with lesser chances)? Only a few months ago I was one of the multitude clamoring for his resignation. In normal circumstances, with respectable opposition leaders with unblemished record, my puny opinion would stay as above. But seeing who is going to inherit the chair, I would strongly advise to forget about that move.

Unfortunately, currently there is no replacement for our sleek, possibly corrupt and so far de facto unbeatable leader. Not by any democratic and practical means I can imagine.

I know it may sound immoral and defeatist and some will blame me in lack of moral fiber. But let's be real...

Conservatives just don't get it!

The latest brouhaha in the British parliament clearly shows that some conservatives still cannot figure out the power of PCS (Politically Correct Speak). The new invention of the Home Secretary that will ease the task of isolation and extermination of terrorism is beautiful in its simplicity: if you don't like it - just call it "anti-Islamic". And you are home and dry.

Of course, the dreary conservatives who always like things just as they are would vastly prefer to call a terrorist "terrorist", a bomb "bomb", a wife-beater "wife-beater". They just don't get it.

I, on the other hand, fell in love with the new idea immediately and have been vigorously applying it in my personal life. Here are some results I am happy to share with you.

  1. Spouse. Definitely Islamic - pure as snow and so good I may even splurge on a burqa as a sign of my appreciation.
  2. Children. Mostly Islamic, but sometimes showing signs of anti-Islamic behavior (like asking for money, refusing to behave, etc.)
  3. Male cat. Definitely anti-Islamic, esp. when stealing food, breaking things and pissing in randomly chosen corners.
  4. Female cat. Generally Islamic, excluding the tendency to cry out loudly at nighttime.
  5. The Japanese car. Superbly Islamic.
  6. The French car. Violently anti-Islamic and may have to be beheaded. Publicly.
  7. Friend #1. Mostly Islamic but doesn't hold his drink. Er... anyway...
  8. Friend #2. Generally Islamic, but doesn't return books. May have to chop off his hand.
Etc. You got the principle now, unless you are thick as... Don't you see how amazingly simple life became? And how orderly and easy to understand the world really is?

If not, you are anti-Islamic and have to be dealt with. Watch out.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

Rumors about Britney Spears suicide attempt

Sad really. But to all the over-incensed:

Click to enlarge, watch and relax. Here, here...

Beauty and the Prince

This story proves that meeting a Royal could still be a awe-inducing and even traumatic experience for a mere mortal.

Prince Philip shocked Oscar nominee Cate Blanchett when he asked her to fix his DVD player.
Here is the Prince:

And here is Cate Blanchett:

Of course, she was overwhelmed and he was a bit confused when she introduced herself as "working in the film industry". Nothing extraordinary, taking into account the slight senility involved on one of the sides. And there is no place for the press innuendos like:
He said, 'There's a cord sticking out of the back. Might you tell me where it goes?'
It's an opening line like any other, I heard much worse ones.

Speaking about the film industry, I too have a DVD player that needs fixing. Not being an RH, can I expect that Cate will not be shocked if I approach her with a similar request?

Just asking.

30 January 2008

Hamas's Gaza debacle - yes, and yet...

In his latest article Hamas's Phony Victory professor Barry Rubin of GLORIA Center tells the story of Hamas' latest failures:

Imagine a very secret meeting held somewhere in the Gaza Strip. Around a table sit various Hamas bigwigs and their leader makes the following speech:

"Ok, here's the plan. We'll wage war on our stronger neighbor, Israel, and lose; destroy our economy; make our people suffer; ensure international sanctions continue against us, and alienate almost all Arab regimes. Then, when things can't seem to get any worse, we'll turn out all the lights and get international sympathy!"
And he is right on all five counts. And yet...

Hamas indeed seems to be losing its war. The economy, what there was of it before the putsch, is thoroughly destroyed, leaving room for progress only for rocket science, Gazans suffer grievously indeed (a good part of them undeservedly), international sanctions (or at least the official attitude to those) are in place and the last meeting of Arab leaders was largely critical on Hamas.

But while prof. Rubin acknowledges (more or less) the inroads Hamas' propaganda made in the Western press, he sees this success as unimportant. Unfortunately, I have more than just gut feeling telling me the opposite.

Arafat's Fatah learned to use the language of images - fake or otherwise - to their advantage, and their Gazan "heirs", Hamas, do their best to improve on the technique. To use the "easy" example, the poster boy Muhammad Al Durah that was (still is) one of the main exhibits on the totem pole of the Intifada, but many others as well. Of course, the messages were sown in the fertile soil of generally anti-Israeli Muslim world and the Western fellow travelers, but no mistake about their potency.

The images are not addressed to the powers that be (also even the powers are influenced by their undeniable impact). The images are not aimed at a short-range goal. And the images don't even have to be true.

Hamas learned that the reasoning, the truth and the logic are all unimportant in the long run. They know that the images stay in our memory long after the logic, the reasoning and the truth are forgotten. Images, like nothing else, consolidate the myths, and there is hardly a social entity - well, a nation, that is not based on myths.

In the latest round of images: the insidious candles, the children trying to study in the darkness, the hungry people breaking through the border for food (that they succeeded to empty the Egyptian stores of electronics as well is a lesser matter), the queues for bread - all this has already entered the "treasure" of Palestinian and, indeed, Muslim folklore to stay there for years to come. And eroding whatever there remains of skeptical and realistic outlook.

Hamas is not in a hurry. They know very well that it takes years to sway the public, especially in the West and to make the public to fully accept their version of reality (or unreality, no matter). Even when the public and many of the media outfits seem to lap up their story quite readily. As a reminder - see the review by Soccer Dad.

So, while Hamas is in trouble, the wench is far from being dead. Hamas is kicking, and quite vigorously. To disregard this aspect of its activities would be a folly.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

Police! Police!

The gender differences are being mulled lately by the British police. The news clearly show that while women are totally from Venus, men are rather... but see for yourself:

An estimated 22,500 police officers have marched in central London in a protest over pay.
And, on the other hand:
Policewomen are rebelling against their regulation trousers - because they make their bums look big.
But meanwhile:
Thieves are robbing long-distance coaches by sneaking dwarves into the luggage holds in sports bags. Once inside, they slip out from their hiding places to rifle through the belongings of unsuspecting travellers. Then they take their loot back to their hiding place and wait to be collected by another gang member when the coach reaches its destination, reports The Sun.
I say - isn't it a good time to reconsider the minimal height requirement for police recruits?

Ganges River dolphin - beaten to death for looking different

Fishermen in Bangladesh beat a rare river dolphin to death because they had not seen "this kind of creature before," according to local news accounts.

Methinks it is quite the time for the dolphins to start using the same logic re humans. Lotsa teeth on these folks...

Mount Vinson Massif is done in

Totally humiliated, that is.

A 71-year-old Japanese man climbed Mount Vinson Massif, the highest mountain in Antarctica, becoming the oldest person to scale the tallest peaks in the world's seven continents, Kyodo News reported.
They may tear it down as well now.

On the other hand - more power to Tomiyasu Ishikawa! We may be old but there is hope still.

29 January 2008

Joozilla vs midgets

Is it a result of genetic experiments by Gazan scientists?

Or a genetic catastrophe wrecked by the Zionists?

Whatever the reason, it seems that Gazans now metamorphosed into two distinct species. The fist one, giants of hitherto unheard size that are able to consume 400 kg of flour daily (not counting other foodstuffs).

The second one - midgets that are, probably, being developed to squeeze through the uncounted tunnels developed into an art form by the Gazans. Here they are:

Unless, of course, you believe that Zionists are growing secretly a new genetically modified strain of the D-9 Caterpillar - the Joozilla - to beat all existing bulldozers.

The only question is why doesn't Hamas unleash one of these super-giants against the Joozilla?

Via Small Dead Animals.

A Stalinist vs "neocons"

One of the last unrepentant* Stalinists attacks a "neocon". Making two major mistakes** in his usual righteous fervor.

(*) To repent one has to understand one's mistakes. This character is too retarded for understanding.
(**) Cohen means Joo (or "neocon" in Milne-speak) in 99.9% of the cases. Not in this one. The other mistake is already out - see the correction to the article

Butt glue?

It is true that the cosmetics drawer(s) in our a bathroom looks like a mix between a chemical lab and Dr. Frankenstein's toolbox. But recently I have surfed upon something that really made me shudder. It is called Butt Glue and it comes as a spray and as a roll-on. Precise manner and place of application is not specified (probably it is passed on the Need To Know basis), but there is a "Washes off with soap and water" soothing notice.

This only confirmed that we, the males, are born ignorant and spent our lives in ignorance about a lot of important subjects. This is the result of being thrown out of the house with a ball to play with your mates almost from day one...

Anyhow, philosophy aside, this glue raises a lot of questions that I don't even want to put in writing here. So I am calling on an expert instead.

28 January 2008

Kindergartner handcuffed after tantrum

Five years old Dennis Rivera is obviously one scary criminal:

But Queens is a tough neighborhood. And his parents must be thankful they didn't shoot their tyke.

So far...

One case of justified paranoia and lotsa comments

You may have noticed that there were no announcements from our HQ lately. It is due to an undercover operation that sapped our resources and wasn't ready for disclosure for some time. But now we are able to report a resounding success. One Brian Robinson(1), a dedicated member of the anti-Zionist crowd, was done in. His own report on his mental meltdown follows. Unfortunately, mere mortal wouldn't be able to understand the level of insanity contained in it, so we are helpfully accompanying the report by some comments.

Please be aware ...

Something very worrying has just happened in that I've received an email purporting to come from my own email address to my email address. It is trying to sell me things of a nature that you may guess at.(2) Obviously there's no way of blocking this(3), but the worrying thing is that someone may be using my address to send out messages to anyone and everyone(4).

I have a firewall, keep my Norton up to date and also have recently installed a Norton antibot (as well as regularly screening for malware)(5).

I may have to change my email address but can't contact Yahoo BT until tomorrow morning(6).

Meanwhile please treat all communications appearing to come from me with caution(7), and also I'd be most grateful to you if you could let me know if you receive any dodgy email seeming to come from me(8).

Also do make sure you have every possible security for yourselves(9).

Oh boy... it is the first time in my bloody career of Elders' operative that I have some twinges of hitherto totally repressed consciousness.

Update: nah, it's fine, it is just my left foot fell asleep.

Update 2: A dramatic development in the case:
I see from the link
That Deborah Fink
Has had her email diverted
All one-stater fools
Are aghast at the news
That her messages now are perverted.
(By No Good Boyo)

(1) Normally we wouldn't link to people of his ilk, but googling for Brian Robinson will shorten your lifespan.
(2) Well, Brian couldn't very well confess that he may be in great need of "things of that nature", but we know, don't we, Brian?
(3) No fucking way - on Elders' honor!
(4) Now you are telling them?
(5) Ha ha ha (it is not even funny, but)
(6) Why should he bother, escapes me.
(7) Too late. Should have warned his friends 50 years or so ago. We did.
(8) And how wold they know, when all Brian's e-mails look the same?
(9) See (5).
(10) This is a part we can't do anything about. Unfortunately - see (1).


Truly all these "Internet slang elements" are hateful. But this is quite an opportunity to use them all, reading what it says here:

However, as opposed to other oligarchs, he acted in methods described by international police as "criminal acts."
Emphasis mi... no, I can't...


Yossi Melman, Haaretz Correspondent - you are one major joker!

Hitler: Dallas Cowboys Fan?

That's fun indeed:

But folks, this is not new - see here.

Gordon B Hinckley of Salt Lake City RIP

Church presidents serve until their deaths.
I don't suppose this tradition stems from saving the pension funds. Still, when you read the article, the habit seems to be a bit cruel.
In 2001, Hinckley received a pacemaker to regulate his heartbeat and, three days before his 95th birthday in 2005, he announced he had diabetes. Hinckley has walked with a cane since early 2001 because he said he was ``a little unsteady on my feet'' and that he suffered from vertigo.
Not my business, certainly. Ah well...

Hussein was surprised...

Saddam Hussein let the world think he had weapons of mass destruction to intimidate Iran and prevent the country from attacking Iraq, according to an FBI agent who interviewed the dictator after his 2003 capture.

That joke has certainly backfired.

27 January 2008


As it usually happens, I got to the blog My Shrapnel via a comment left by Gila, a "nice Jewish girl with a writing fetish", on this here place.

What can I say? Whatever I say will only subtract, I am not your tame literary critic FFS. Just notice the quotes and the ® in this:

Life as a "Poor, Sad, Heroic, Victim of Terror"®
Read what Gila has to say.

Just another game...

I believe now that I can find a silver lining in anything, so I am not absolutely lost to humanity. Here comes an example of a tragic story, idiocy and yes, some silver lining. Plus a superb writer, person and blogger who was too het up to spend a few more minutes in an investigation. Writes Ami Isseroff:

Media bias is apparently an immovable fact of news reporting on the Middle East. I am not talking about doctored photos, use of hate words like "Israel Occupation Forces" and "Apartheid Wall" in more more extremist publications. I am referring to a pervasive standard of more subtle mendacity that we have come to accept. Like people condemned to live near a pigsty or a chemical plant, we have become so used to the stench that we hardly notice it. In the same way, Jews in other times became accustomed to wearing a yellow star, and black people in southern United States understood that they must ride in the back of the bus.
Difficult to disagree, especially on the background of the Western MSM recent surrender to the Hamas' propaganda. In this instance Ami describes a specific and truly disgusting Reuters piece.
Yesterday, two terror attacks took place in the West Bank. In one, Palestinian Arabs attacked border guards at a checkpoint and killed a border policeman. In another, Palestinian Arabs entered a civilian Yeshiva in the community of Kfar Etzion and tried to kill students there. The students were armed though, and they overcame and killed their attackers.

The Reuters report of this incident is below. It is not outstandingly anti-Israel, just biased and hateful in an ordinary pedestrian way. A casual reader might not notice much bias unless it was pointed out. What do we see here? The headline tells you that two Palestinians and one Israeli was killed. Clearly it is another case of the Israeli Goliath victimizing the oppressed Palestinian David. That is how those lopsided casualty figures pile up - incident by incident.

The lede paragraph tells us that "Jewish settlers shout dead two Palestinians" - without telling us why. It also tells you that "gunmen" (of unidentified origin - maybe Jewish) Killed an Israeli Border Guard (religion and ethnic affiliation unspecified.
Etc. Well, I have invested about 5 minutes to study the author of this dreck. One Ori Lewis, a Jerusalemite, most probably an Israeli. A quick google shows that Ori is mainly a Reuters sports hack with very few articles on other subjects. Now the provenance of the offensive headline "Two Palestinians, Israeli killed in W.Bank incidents" should be clear. Think "Brazil - Uruguay 3:1". And the further development of the story is a typical report on a sports event.

Small fry and not very professional, in other words. The editor of the story, one Tim Pearce, is quite another matter. Seems like a seasoned editor, having his fingers in lots of pies. But a bit of low level anti-Israeli coverage probably doesn't bother his majesty. Unless it's Mr Pearce himself that arranged the article in this way...

In any case: Reuters - Ami 0:1. Easy game, too.

Do you see the silver lining now?

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

On Shlemazl's teeth

Canucks I happen to know are exceedingly gentle and kind-hearted people. This is not to say that the subject of this post is an exception, although he is not a Canuck by birth. It is that under his polished jet-set exterior and behind his worldly manners of a nuclear scientist hides an extremely sharp-toothed predator that has a healthy (?) appetite for stupid people.

And he has got himself quite a feast lately. So enjoy quietly and don't get on his bad side, be my free advice. But I guess you are not stupid, are you?

Galilea Montijo vs Kirsten Haglund

If that "show en el baño" or this picture make you overexcited, go for it, but really, people, you are in need of some urgent therapeutic assistance! And here it comes:

I hope you know the drill: a) click on the picture to enlarge (embiggen) b) don't look elsewhere for at least 3 minutes and c) breath slowly and shallowly.

And I hope you like cacti.

26 January 2008

It cannot get better than this...

JP was on top of this story:

In a protest organized by a coalition of left-wing movements, over 1,000 people demonstrated at the Erez border crossing on Saturday in solidarity with Palestinians in the Gaza Strip and the residents of Sderot, under the slogan: "Stop the siege on Gaza: A demonstration for Gaza and for Sderot."
I, however, just heard on the radio (on the wireless for you Brits) the bit they missed:
The protest dispersed after a Qassam rocket, followed by a few mortar shells, landed in the vicinity of the Erez border crossing.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

The Hamas' PR campaign and MSM complicity

Soccer Dad has done a roundup that will leave you agape. Really. Some people disagree that Palestinian PR leaves its Israeli counterpart standing, but here you are. I especially love the candles piece:

In the first case, journalists who were invited to cover the Hamas government meeting were surprised to see Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh and his ministers sitting around a table with burning candles.

In the second case on Tuesday, journalists noticed that Hamas legislators who were meeting in Gaza City also sat in front of burning candles.

But some of the journalists noticed that there was actually no need for the candles because both meetings were being held in daylight.
Some may say that it's just crude and obvious propaganda, but after reading Soccer Dad's review you will agree that the results are simply amazing.

Ehehe. There are some people that need some candles... or some hot pokers. But it's definitely not the Hamas' spin masters who do an excellent job.

The hazards of inattention

Tourists trapped in Cape Town cable cars

Caused me a few moments of wonderment: crapping tourists are fine with me, but in something called "table car"? Why?

And that too. Via Will.

Jerome Keruviel - the bachelor of the century

French police have visited the Paris home of alleged rogue trader Jerome Keruviel, who has been accused of costing bank Societe Generale $7.2 billion in fraudulent transactions.

Do they expect to find the $7.2 billion in small unmarked bills there?

Jim Murray vs Duke Dukead

It appears that it's never too late to get computer savvy.

The 69-year-old retired police chief of this small Missouri town cuts a credible figure as a 13-year-old girl surfing the Web, looking for friends. He knows all the instant-messaging shorthand, the emoticons. His latest catch was the biggest: four felony enticement charges against a town mayor, who after his arrest called Murray up and begged him to make the case go away.
Good job, Mr Murray!

And to the felon in question, the ex-mayor of Collins and ex-pastor of Temple Lot Church one Allen Kauffman aka Duke Dukead:

Never lie about your age, Duckhead!

May they award Jim Murray a pair of garden shears too - between other things.

25 January 2008

The three little piggies ride again

The three little piggies must brave another round of Politically Correct Idiocy, it looks like. It also looks like British dhimmis succeeded to surprise even their British Muslim friends by their readiness to prostrate themselves.

A story based on the Three Little Pigs fairy tale has been turned by a government agency's awards panel as the subject matter could offend Muslims.

The digital book, re-telling the classic story, was rejected by judges who warned that "the use of pigs raises cultural issues".
Interesting, what kind of "cultural issues" is meant:
But judges at this year's Bett Award said that they had "concerns about the Asian community and the use of pigs raises cultural issues".
As far as I know, a good part of the Asian community raises and consumes pigs quite happily, so it is a bit of a sweeping statement, innit?

I, personally, do believe that there could be a cultural issue involved. There are some major differences between British, Canadian and USA ways of preparing bacon, and I will take the risk of sounding offensive, but to my taste (admittedly leaning to crispy, burned and generally cancer-inducing foods), the US version is the best. I hope it will not offend my British readers.

As for offending the ill-defined "Asian community", here is the relevant quote:
Muslims criticised Becta's response and insisted that a computer program based on the Three Little Pigs should be welcomed in state schools.

Tahir Alam, the head of education at the Muslim Council of Britain, said: "We are not offended by that at all."
See what I mean by overprostrating oneself?

And a side remark: There is a sizable Jewish community in UK. A sizable part of this community, unlike your humble servant, does consider pigs offensive, but for some reason is not mentioned as a reason for the good judges' decision. Hmm...

Across America, echoes of people dying of laughter

That's really an answer to this pathetic drivel.

H/T - Akaky Akakievich.

24 January 2008

Another short lesson in English

You simply cannot invent a thing like this:


A featured article of merchandise sold at a loss in order to draw customers

You shall see in a second which of the two meanings above is applicable when you read the first sentence of the Guardian leader of January 24, 2008:

If you bottle up 1.5 million people in a territory 25 miles long and six miles wide, and turn off the lights, as Israel has done in Gaza, the bottle will burst.
Somebody should tell the august leader writer of The Guardian that when the "leader" starts with a lie, the featured article becomes just merchandise sold at a loss in order to draw customers.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

Problem? Doubts? Just ask UNRWA!

The Guardian has done a whole spread on the Zionist atrocities in Gaza:

Obviously the "hardline response" that Guardianistas have in their collective mind is really not to their taste. Rockets are met with flowers in the Guardian la-la land, I am made to believe. But this is not what this post is about. It is about the helpful advice given by John Ging, the director of UNRWA's operations in Gaza, quoted in the leading article.

Ging said the rocket fire from Gaza, though illegal, did not justify such punitive measures against the civilian population, and the Israeli civilian population hit by the rockets, notably in Sderot near the boundary with Gaza, also deserved protection.

"Firing rockets from Gaza is not supported by the population here," he said. "One's actions must be measured against the rule of law. We should look at each action and hold accountable those who are actually committing them."
This is a mindbogglingly simple idea, I must say, and why no one thought about this solution before Mr Ging came into the picture is even more mindboggling.

So let's not criticize that point where rocket scientists are not supported by Gaza's population, after all it's a measly 70% who support them... Let's focus on the simple algorithm that will put stop to the rocketing.

Achmed and Sayed are two rocket scientists who have just finished a successful launch of three Qassams onto Sderot (the Zionist settlement, which is in no way supported by UNRWA, its mere existence being against UNRWA's best judgment). However:
  1. UNWRA (that "we" in the Mr Ging's statement must mean only UNWRA, since no one else has volunteered for the job so far) looks at this action by Achmed and Sayed.
  2. UNWRA measures this action "against the rule of law", whatever it means in UNWRA-speak, and we all know that the rule of law is foremost on the minds of all Gazzans.
  3. Achmed and Sayed", says UNWRA, "we, the people of UNWRA, are holding you accountable!"
  4. "Wow!", say obviously impressed Achmed and Sayed and stop launching Qassams.
Of course, it is brilliant and it must work.

That is, unless Achmed and Sayed are in one of those moods and tell UNWRA to fuck off and mind their humanitarian business or else...

Nah, they wouldn't do it, would they?

Angelina Jolie Face Change?

And I wasn't really even looking for Ms Jolie's pics or anything like this - just browsing a friendly blogger's place...

Just look at this abomination:

- The most amazing bloopers are here

So, the first item on the agenda will be to put our hands on that paskudnyak - really simple. Then a short introductory lesson that will include an explanation of the term "paskudnyak" and removal of some non-vital extremities. Then about a week (I am being charitable here) of various activities that involve the subject being fully conscious and slow removal of various elements of his anatomy. To be continuously filmed.

The resulting 613 parts to be sent to other Photoshop geeks with the recording and an appropriate warning.

23 January 2008

Congratulations, Sonia!

Sonia Belle, among several others friendly bloggers, received the distinction of the "burqa prize" from the ever watchful Google modesty police.

I don't even want to start guessing the bizarre reasons Google folks do that to bloggers.

But anyway - my heartfelt congratulations to Sonia. Wear this prize as a badge of honor.

Oops. Forgot that Sonia is not into wearing stuff...

Thanks for that at least, Bibi

Thanks to Benjamin (Bibi) Netanyahu and his last speech, I have learned another meaning of an English word today:


A soothsaying spirit or a person who is possessed by such a spirit

The way I got to python was a bit complicated: reading the article I have recalled that there was a respectable and, apparently, well-paying second-tier occupation around the priestesses / pythonesses of Delphi - that of deciphering their complicated transmissions for poor mortals. And the reason for this memory coming up was my sheer incomprehension of the transmissions by Bibi, at least in the form presented in the article.

The lede of the article gives the gist of the three main points supposedly conveyed by the speaker:

Opposition leader speaks at Herzliya Conference, warns against Iran forging hold on West Bank, says only harsher deterrence will topple Hamas in Gaza. 'I want to create a reality of peace, hope for Palestinians," he concludes.
So far so good, right? But the problem is that this is as far as it goes, don't expect anything else.

It is easy to agree that Iranian foothold "near the Tel Aviv metropolitan area" is no good to anyone (including Iranians, methinks, their supply lines will be somewhat overstretched). But how to avoid that advent? Bibi wouldn't say more.

It may have been useful to get more info on that "harsher deterrence" (does it involve the whole IDF saying "boo" simultaneously in the general direction of Gaza? So far the deterrence seems to make the rocket scientists in Gaza more and more frisky), but in this respect Bibi doesn't want to say anything useful too. Probably out of fear that Olmert may steal his ideas.

And on the last part, that of creating a reality of peace and hope for Palestinians, Bibi is especially cryptic. He has to be, after calling for "harsher deterrence".
I suggest we try another way, the way of financial peace, which can lead the way to future political peace and prevent the future recruitment radical militants.
Harsh deterrence with financial peace is a discombobulating idea indeed. Does it mean to bombard Gaza by socks stuffed by shekel coins? We have two shekel coins freshly minted, by the way, could be even more potent.

Any volunteers to clear the fog? Thanks.

Geller does Germany

That was the gist of the Ha'aretz article.

The premiere of the show, which is based on the popular Israeli program "Hayoresh" ("The Successor"), attracted a large audience (more than 20 percent of viewers aged 14-49 tuned in) and received particularly extensive media coverage.
Apparently, Germans lapped up this stuff.
On the show, 10 "mentalists," as they are called in Germany, compete for the title of Geller's successor and for a prize of 100,000 euros. Geller himself appears as a guest and displays the psychic powers that have made him famous in Europe and elsewhere- bending cutlery and repairing electrical appliances.
I am not into succession, but I do have some cutlery to straighten out and a TV set and a phone on the fritz. I am afraid, though, that his visit fees could be exorbitant and that some more expensive cutlery may get bent by mistake. Or disappear...

DJ Tomekk aus dem Dschungelcamp geworfen?

Looking for news that disturb the surfers sometimes brings refreshing, albeit difficult to decipher tidbits in languages other than English.

That one means (more or less): DJ Tomekk from the jungle camp thrown.

The reason for that action appears to be that this DJ Tomekk sung "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles" and followed it up by the Nazi salute, explaining that there are "too many foreigners here in the house".

So, it appears that DJ Tomekk, whoever he is, has some Nazi leanings. But why throw him out of the jungle camp? This is where he belongs, it looks like...

22 January 2008

Tatiana the tigress - murdered and unjustly maligned

From the day this story exploded, I had my doubts about the mumbling and stumbling version of events that became official after a few days: that of an unmotivated attack by a murderous tiger on a group of innocent viewers. Something didn't smell right. It takes more than just a sight of a human being to make a sated and well cared for tiger to go out of its way to murder.

And gradually the truth has started to come out.

Paul Dhaliwal, 19, told the father of Carlos Sousa Jr., 17, who was killed, that the three yelled and waved at the tiger...

Sousa's father, Carlos Sousa Sr., said Dhaliwal told him the three stood on a 3-foot-tall metal railing a few feet from the edge of the tiger moat.

Toxicology results for Dhaliwal showed that his blood alcohol level was 0.16 -- twice the legal limit for driving, according to the affidavit. His 24-year-old brother Kulbir Dhaliwal and Sousa also had alcohol in their blood but within the legal limit, Matthews wrote.

All three also had marijuana in their systems, Matthews said.
So, on one side we have three idiots with too much alcohol and marijuana in their system, reeking of both and taunting the tiger. On the other side - an animal in its prime with fantastic sense of smell and all the killer instincts. Yes, the enclosure could have been higher - probably...

Notice also that the tigress didn't attack just anyone after escaping from the enclosure - she targeted the miscreants only.

So, here we have one of the survivors:

There are about 6.5 billion more where this one comes from.

And here we have Tatiana:

There are only a few hundred of her clan left on this planet.

Just don't ask me what my choice would be, if and when, OK?

More on the Gaza power shortages

From the Ynet interview with Israel Electric Corporation (IEC) workers' committee chairman, Miko Zarfati:

"This is Palestinian spin. No one has stopped the supply of electricity to the Strip," Zarfati told Ynet.

The Gaza power plant only produces 30% of the electricity consumed in the Strip while Israel supplies the rest.

"The situation is totally absurd. We're continuing to supply them electricity despite the (demand) overload for electricity in Israel and despite the fact that Israeli residents and Electric Company workers that are being sent to Gaza Vicinity communities are under threat from Qassam rockets," Zarfati railed.
No comments.

Earth calling David Cox

ET stay home, says David Cox in his (CiF, where else) article.

We should resist the efforts of Russian scientists to contact aliens who could threaten our very existence. The problem is obvious. If we discover alien life ourselves, we can decide what, if anything, to do about it. If, on the other hand, we alert aliens to our own existence, we'll be at their mercy.
I am afraid that it's too late already - with or without Russian scientists' involvement, they are already here. Proof? See for yourself:

It is too easy to tuck in one's ears, methinks, with the advanced alien plastic surgery. And fake glasses don't faze me!

to Lesley.


21 January 2008

Gaza - it doesn't take a prophet

And I am definitely not one, since it was only too easy to predict the next step in the Hamas' propaganda war, which I said in that post will be:

Gazans of all ages and genders dying in droves in hospitals in the middle of surgery because of the Zionist power outage
And here we have it from the ever watchful AP:
"We have the choice to either cut electricity on babies in the maternity ward or heart surgery patients or stop operating rooms," Gaza Health Ministry official Dr. Moaiya Hassanain said.
Why don't you go and cut off the head of your Hamas handler, dear Dr. Hassanain? Because:
... the Gaza Strip continues to receive 70 percent of its electricity supply directly from Israel, which would not be affected, and another 5 percent from Egypt.
And if your hospital doesn't get the juice, it is not because of the Zionists or because of the power shortage, it is because somebody up there in Hamas wants some of your babies and pregnant moms-to-be and heart surgery patients to die.

For AP cameras, you know what I mean...

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

On Barenboim the peacemaker

From an interview with a music critic on Army Radio (imprecise):

I feel enormous respect for Daniel Barenboim. I am glad that he does so much for Palestinian people, giving concerts in Ramallah and doing everything to bridge the gap. I shall continue buying his disks, even those with Wagner.

However, I have never seen him visiting Kiryat Shmona or Sderot or giving a concert there, and it is a pity.

Putiniana in pictures

Here you can enjoy (click back and forth upon the arrows) a large collection of Putin-related funny pictures. Some of them require some basic Russian, though, but most don't.

And here's one of my favorites (related to this story):


Lindsey Paulat Fires Handgun in Home of Cedrick Wilson

Should I care about it? Hardly, but here is a nice picture for you:

You know the drill by now. Relax. Breath slowly. Look at it for 3 minutes...

20 January 2008

Sunday links

Haveil Havalim #150 is up, there were some hints from the founding father / main engine / driving force / [place your own superlative] about quitting, but I am not accepting something I cannot believe in (a three-millennial Jooish tradition), so here.

Nasrallah's greatest secret

After year and a half of hiding, Nasrallah the Lebanese groundhog emerged from his bunker. Triumphantly too, and with good reason.

It is not for nothing that he spent the time in seclusion, it appears, and all rumors about his cowardly behavior are just vicious Zionist propaganda.

"Oh Zionists, your army is lying to you ... your army has left the body parts of your soldiers in our villages and fields," Nasrallah said. "Our mujahideen used to fight these Zionists, killing them and collecting their body parts. I am not talking about regular body parts. I tell the Israelis, we have the heads of your soldiers, we have hands, we have legs ... there is even a near-complete body, a half or three-quarters of a body, from head, to chest to the torso," he added.
Is it clear to you now that our brave Sheik was not hiding for his safety but developing a new hobby: body parts collection and cataloging?

Grisly? Ghoulish? You just wait...

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

Until the dust settles

The situation in Sderot as it looks to Seth Freedman. Quite precise.

Then he comes to the whattodo part:
Evacuating them to safety, whatever the cost, is the least they deserve until the dust settles.
Then what? Evacuating Ashkelon? Ashdod? A reminder:
"We have decided to make Sderot a ghost town," said a spokesman for Hamas who gave his name as Abu Ubeideh. "We are not going to stop launching our rockets until they leave."
Granted, the thrust of the article - the government doesn't do enough - is correct. But doing Hamas' bidding instead of finding a way to stop the barrages will be a clear victory to the terrorism.

Anyhow, this is not my main point. Let's go back to the beginning of Seth's piece:
Imagine a London where a sword of Damocles hangs over every street and every building. A London where the day is punctuated by missiles raining down indiscriminately on schools, homes, parks and gardens. A London where the difference between crossing the road or not could be the difference between having your face ripped to shreds by shrapnel from incoming rockets falling from the sky.
So here comes my point: imagine this, dear Londoners and, being as enlightened as you are by years of progressive thought, anti-war demos, sterling knowledge of right and wrong and, let's not delude ourselves, many years of fat and trouble-free life - tell me what you would have done in our place?

Because Seth isn't saying.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

Ninjas killed my family

Filched from LOL with gratitude.

19 January 2008

Not listening to Mick Hartley

could imperil one's mental balance. You can take it to the bank. Today, after reading this post of his, I have decided, his warning notwithstanding, to go and read the comments to this article on CiF (yes, it is an offshoot of The Guardian called Comment is Free - how many times could you ask?).

So my mental balance is kaput now. Alcohol in large quantities is the only remedy and will be administered orally shorty. Meanwhile a gem that stuck in my memory. It is by one of the regulars calls itself thickskull (it was already noticed that denizens of CiF in their humility tend to be quite correct about their mental powers):

Finally, may I caution commenters not to fall too easily into the trap of apportioning all sorts of blame to the 'Jews' [notice the quotation mark]. It may be more accurate to say 'Zionists' [which obviously means that it is the 'Zionists' that are responsible for all the mayhem in the world]. Not all Jews are neocon or malignantly pro-imperialist Israel [hmm... not all Jews are neocon or Israel, I see a sliver of a blue sky there], and putting them on the defensive means they are incited to hit back, hogging the comment columns and hijacking the rational discussion of important issues [oh boy, ain't they bad and ain't we rational and important!].
And thickskull is quite benign, I have to tell you. Anyway, now you and I know: if you wanna say "Jews", just say "Zionists" and everything will be peachy. Cool.

I was told not to do it, after all...

Malignantly pro-imperialist

There is a lesson in it, I'm sure

A person who knows where I stand on the issue of vegetarians, vegans, Jains and other people of this attitude to life sent me a link that may be worthwhile for you to click upon.

So what do we learn from the sequence of pictures in this link? Yes, cheetah mom doesn't have a lot of time for vegans, besides she must feed her babies - that's the first point. But look at this:

  • Doesn't it prove that you could both love your steak gazelle and eat it?
  • Isn't this cheetah cub beautiful (although it's not chewing grass)?
  • Isn't the gazelle tasty graceful?
  • Isn't life amazing?
And no, dear vegans, I do not give away my address or/and phone number for free, but you know where to send your threats.

David Roy Pescatore

What, could you ask, the heck? Wazzamata? And, indeed, you would be right.
But the guy, it appears, is a jack of all trades. Enjoy.

18 January 2008

This man deserves a medal as big as a frying pan

That's Peter Burkill, the pilot of Boeing 777 that crash landed in Heathrow. He saved lots of lives today.

Update: let's prepare another big medal, please - for this man:

Senior first officer John Coward was at the controls approaching Heathrow's south runway when the Boeing 777 appears to have lost power, forcing the emergency landing.
Coward he is definitely not!

Faizal Tahir: no shirt - no service

One of Malaysia's most popular rock singers has shocked audiences and been barred from appearing on a television station for six months after he peeled off his shirt and bared his chest during a live performance.

Faizal Tahir, 29, threw his shirt into the crowd and revealed a Superman-style S painted on his bare torso at the concert in Kuala Lumpur, shown live on national television.
Superman is so sixties, man - get current!

Microsoft System May Monitor Workers' Brains, Bodies

Monitor this, Big Bro!

17 January 2008

Some morning wisecracks

Australia said Wednesday that Japan has agreed to release two activists being detained going aboard a Japanese whaling ship near Antarctica, as whale hunters and defenders traded accusations of piracy.
Yep, it seems that the whalers have agreed to release the two. Here they come:

A Swedish bomb squad called out to disarm a suspicious package on Wednesday did not find a ticking bomb. But they did find a vibrating sex toy.
And then the battery run out almost immediately...

Carlos Chavez RIP

Ecuadorian volunteer Carlos Chavez, 21, was killed when a Palestinian sniper fired from the border area into Israel.

There are a few more words in the article about this death that will be soon forgotten, as Carlos Chavez himself will be. Ami Isseroff tried to do Carlos some justice.

Today a man who came to work in peace, to help realize the dream of an egalitarian socialist society, or perhaps just to have a new experience, was murdered by Arab snipers. His death was hardly noticed, it seems.

A few years ago Rachel Corrie came to Israel to defend terrorists from "Zionist aggressors." She was killed by accident while trying to stop a bulldozer from destroying a building used for smuggling or terror attacks. Her death was trumpeted all over the world as an example of Zionist mentality. We know who she is and what she looked like and why she claimed to have come to Israel. We knew all about her views of the oppressive and evil Zionists.
I disagree with drawing that parallel and with the title:

Carlos Chavez: the Rachel Corrie nobody will talk about

I know that the comparison was unintentional. But we remember Rachel Corie (and how could we forget, with all the "progressives" continuing the build-up of the totem pole...) with her obsessive hate that definitely overcame whatever love for Palestinians she was able to display. And it is wrong to compare her in any way with a man who came to saw seeds in our soil.

Carlos Chavez RIP.

A catechism

Should I repeat that banal "spewed my coffee on the screen"? Better not, especially due to the fact that I didn't. I've just quietly enjoyed this.

P.S. We are getting somewhere with the understanding of felines, methinks...

16 January 2008

The Magibon craze

So let me make sure that I am right - a cute little girl stares at her webcam and hundred thousands flock to watch her (undeniably pretty) face?

There must be something I missed in many Japanese gardens. Or in sushi. Or...

Is there an alternative to the two state solution?

Ami Isseroff answers the question here. It is a good analysis, so I shall leave you to digest it at will, but not before quoting the last paragraph:

It all comes down to this: you can't have a democracy where a large number of people are not allowed to vote, and you can't get more babies just by screwing with the data.
And adding the usual trite corollary: yes, Ami is right, you cannot do neither the former nor the latter, but with the latter you can at least enjoy the process - virtually, as the case may be...

I don't know what they eat at the ministry...

After reading this I can't even start guessing.

A Slovenian woman who found a mouse foot in a jar of pickles was shocked to be told it was "completely normal".

Ministry spokeswoman Vivijan Potocnik said: "It is completely normal in big factories to have mice wandering around, and yes, every now and then they get caught amongst the machines and do get bottled, seasoned, preserved and even make it in one piece to consumers. During the preservation process even traces of any salmonella bacteria are eliminated in food. A mice-foot therefore could be classified as a special additive to the pickles."
Shouldn't they charge extra for the foot then?

Next time you tour Slovenia, check you restaurant bills carefully for the extras...

15 January 2008

And now to the next step in the PR attack

The ink on the first installment of the Gazan propaganda on the fuel shortages has not dried yet, and the ever servile AP with its tame photographers are ready with visual aids:

The capture under this one:

Palestinians warm themselves around a fire during a power outage in Gaza City,Monday, Jan. 14, 2008. In early January Israel cut back on some of its fuel shipments to the volatile Gaza Strip in response to the daily barrages of homemade rockets fired by Palestinian militants in Gaza at Israeli border towns.(AP Photo/Hatem Moussa)
The next one goes for the jugular:

And the capture:
Palestinian children use a candle for light during a power outage in Gaza City, Monday, Jan. 14, 2008. In early January Israel cut back on some of its fuel shipments to the volatile Gaza Strip in response to the daily barrages of homemade rockets fired by Palestinian militants in Gaza at Israeli border towns. (AP Photo/Hatem Moussa)
Doesn't take a lot of imagination to guess what the next pictures will be:
  • Elderly Palestinian (woman?) frozen to death because of the Zionist power outage
  • Gazans of all ages and genders dying in droves in hospitals in the middle of surgery because of the Zioni...
  • Gazan males stuck frozen in impossible positions mid-prayer because of the Zion...
  • Fertilizer to be used in manufacturing explosives remains unprocessed because of the Zio...
  • Qassams to be launched remain unlaunched because of the Z...
Upon second thought - scratch the last two. Where there is a will...

No worries, folks - AP and Hatem Moussa are on the case!

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

Stap me vitals!

If I am wrong, but Britain is really in a major crossroads situation.

The BBC reports on an NHS poll (which is a clever publicity stunt) for a public vote on whether their new website should depict the human body as is, or leave out rather crucial bits of the body...
The genitals issue... This really could tear apart the (delicate as it is) fabric of the British society.

What is unclear to me - why the heck in our century, so advanced where computer imagery is concerned, some people don't see the solution that is literally under their noses?

Here is the high level design of the proposed solution:
  1. The user enters his national ID (no worries, all Brits will get one eventually) complemented by scanning of the user's fingerprint and/or retina
  2. The software goes to the national database, extracts all the user's data and covers/uncovers appropriate body parts according to age, gender and religious affiliation of the user, with items of clothing matching this affiliation
  3. Voila! The appropriate, politically correct and multicultural presentation of the human body is on the user's screen
What could be simpler?

Via Antony Cox.

Burl and WIkapedia?

What the heck is Wikapedia when it's at home and in civvies?

At least with Burl there is some sense of emerging clarity:


14 January 2008

How to Win Friends and Influence People

This is only a part of the headline (they told me not to make them too long). The other part is:

Or lying through your teeth about power shortages in Gaza

The story by Barry Rubin of Gloria Center has all the elements of journalistic expose and I do not intend to steal his thunder here. Go and read it. I shall just tell you that I have taken the sentence of that lying SOB he points to:

Yesterday, Kanan Obeid, chairman of Gaza's Hamas-run energy authority, said Gaza now has only 35 percent of the power its 1.5 million residents need.
I run it through Google, and just to give you the taster of the agencies that run the article:
  • Ha'aretz
  • Philadelphia Inquirer
  • CBS news
  • Boston Herald
  • China Post
  • Etc. (the above results are from one page only, so...)
Read the expose and see the stinking lie for what it is.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

Ron Paul's bigotry revolution

This distinguished runner for presidency starts to interest me, I must say.

Andrew Ian Dodge has more here.

Laure Manaudou in extremely sexy video

It is almost 10 minutes and will surely leave you exhausted.

Have you enjoyed this as much as I did?

13 January 2008

Norman Finkelstein in Lebanon: when the unmentionable meets the unspeakable

Probably getting booted out from the DePaul university has exacerbated his all-consuming lust for visibility. Now he has found a way - after his other learned friend, who also went on a similar pilgrimage.

Finkelstein is known as a vocal American critic of Israeli policies in the region. He met with a Hezbollah commander in south Lebanon.
There is nothing better than that old quote from that post above:
Chomsky, he added "does not know that the Hezbollah arms scare the Lebanese people more than the Israelis." Chomsky obviously doesn'’t know that Hezbollah and its allies fought the Cedar Revolution by aligning themselves with the Syrian regime.
I am not sure whether Finkelstein, being groomed in PoliSci, doesn't know this, but it hardly matters, does it?
He told reporters that he thinks Hezbollah represents hope because “they are fighting to defend their homeland, they are fighting to defend the independence of their country, they are defending themselves against foreign …murderers.”
Yes, that too... And he didn't miss another photo op, cruising the cemetery of the "Lebanese victims", 70% of whom were Hezbollah "liberators".

What can I say? Expect a new book on the atrocities of Israeli murderers soon. And don't expect the Israeli victims to be mentioned in it.

A man must do what a man must do... for his income.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

Zarina An Julie

The name certainly makes waves that improve surfing. But why?

It takes an astronomer...

From the today's Fox news headlines:

Cops: Dad Sodomized Teen Stepson to Avenge Rape of Daughter

Man Charged With Killing Wife, Four Children in Ohio

New York Mom Allegedly Put Son, 7, in Oven as Punishment

and then, quite a smasher:

Astronomers Astonished by Violence of Universe
The deeper astronomers gaze into the cosmos, the more they find it's a bizarre and violent universe.
What can one say? It shouldn't take a telescope, methinks...

At least, some Russians take a healthy non-violent approach to life:

Russian Travelers Arrested in Sex Acts on Commercial Flight


12 January 2008

Werner Theodore Barazetti - another hero of Kindertransporte

A retiring hero of the struggle against Nazism, whose story came to light only ten years ago, Bill Barazetti helped thousands of victims of discrimination to get out of prewar Germany. In a Schindler-style operation carried out in conjunction with a British stockbroker, Nicholas Winton, he also played a major part in organising the escape of children from German-occupied Prague in the spring and summer months of 1939 before war broke out. Between May and July that year three trainloads of mainly Jewish children — the Kindertransporte — left the city and, thanks to a complicated system of false identity papers engineered by Barazetti, succeeded in reaching London via Holland.
More in the Times obituary.

Via Jams.

Hugo Chavez: here I am, o Lord!

In a typically selfless act of courage, Chavez threw his weight on the scale to protect his friends.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez called Friday for Europe to remove from its list of terrorist organizations two Colombian groups -- including FARC, the group that freed two hostages Thursday in a mission Chavez organized.

"Take me instead", shouted Chavez to the astonished journalists, "and let my people go!".

When asked why ELN and FARC kidnap people, kill other people and trade in cocaine, Comical Hugo answered that the journalists should learn and understand the real Bolivarian way and the real Bolivarian project.
No one should be bothered by it. It is absolutely essential to do so.

Isabel Aguilera, Christina Aguilera or KDE 4?

So far the first one seems to be winning. Not bad looking, too:

Let's write it off as Google's loss then.