31 January 2008

Conservatives just don't get it!

The latest brouhaha in the British parliament clearly shows that some conservatives still cannot figure out the power of PCS (Politically Correct Speak). The new invention of the Home Secretary that will ease the task of isolation and extermination of terrorism is beautiful in its simplicity: if you don't like it - just call it "anti-Islamic". And you are home and dry.

Of course, the dreary conservatives who always like things just as they are would vastly prefer to call a terrorist "terrorist", a bomb "bomb", a wife-beater "wife-beater". They just don't get it.

I, on the other hand, fell in love with the new idea immediately and have been vigorously applying it in my personal life. Here are some results I am happy to share with you.

  1. Spouse. Definitely Islamic - pure as snow and so good I may even splurge on a burqa as a sign of my appreciation.
  2. Children. Mostly Islamic, but sometimes showing signs of anti-Islamic behavior (like asking for money, refusing to behave, etc.)
  3. Male cat. Definitely anti-Islamic, esp. when stealing food, breaking things and pissing in randomly chosen corners.
  4. Female cat. Generally Islamic, excluding the tendency to cry out loudly at nighttime.
  5. The Japanese car. Superbly Islamic.
  6. The French car. Violently anti-Islamic and may have to be beheaded. Publicly.
  7. Friend #1. Mostly Islamic but doesn't hold his drink. Er... anyway...
  8. Friend #2. Generally Islamic, but doesn't return books. May have to chop off his hand.
Etc. You got the principle now, unless you are thick as... Don't you see how amazingly simple life became? And how orderly and easy to understand the world really is?

If not, you are anti-Islamic and have to be dealt with. Watch out.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.