31 May 2006

Some numbers

And finally the day came to celebrate our visitor 30,000! Here she/he is (click to enlarge):

The mere fact that the visitor 30,000 did not ask whether Ben Bernanke is Jewish or where exactly to apply in Saudi Arabia for a sex change put us in a real festive mood.

Congratulations, dear Sir/Madam, and as a reward you get a free subscription to our blog for one year (subject to two daily visits and regular voluntary donation specified in the full text of the contract, special conditions may apply depending on local laws and tax regulations as applicable from time to time).

The number 30,000 has an additional import, since a few days ago Technorati, bless their shiny inhuman computing souls, decreed that SimplyJews have broken the 30,000 barrier, joining the 30,000 most popular blogs out of 40 something millions, or so they say. You calculate the percentages, the numbers are too mind-boggling.

Of course, TTLB (PBUH), keeps driving me crazy by its fickleness, moving the blog up and down the evolution ladder with the consistency of a rattlesnake on amphetamines. For some reason it still claims that SimplyJews is linked by 48 sites only, while Technorati allows 73 (which is still less than we count manually, but who counts?). But TTLB has now a beauty of an interface, with all these colors and stuff, so it's a doozy just to watch, even if one does not have a slightest idea what it is all about...

Ah well. Of course, being a real blogger, I do not care about all these earthly trifles, visitors and links are not what... aw what the heck, whom I am kidding? Please, oh please, click on us, link to us, read us, and the deity of the virtual life will reward you richly*.

(*)And if not, may your punishment be watching Fox News and Lenin's Tomb for 22 hours a day with 2 hours break for vomiting.

Political aspiration of paedophiles

Seeing is believing, they say. I am seeing it, but the believing part comes harder.

There is outrage in the Netherlands after paedophiles launched a political party to push for a cut in the legal age of consent. The Charity, Freedom and Diversity (NVD) party wants the age dropped from 16 to 12, before having it scrapped completely, and also wants child pornography and sex with animals to be legalised, sparking a massive backlash in the liberal country. The vast majority of the Dutch public now believe the government should step in and outlaw the group.

I am not at all sure about outlawing. This is too easy and the only thing it does is get these nice folks to go underground. I would fulfill their wish re sex with animals, under a few simple conditions: that a) said sex will be enforced on the party members and continuous; b) the animals in question be donkeys (specifically jacks) over age of consent for donkeys; c) subject to ASPCA approval; d) any necessary tools of restraint be employed in case of refusal.

Upon second thought, there is another condition related to the following picture of the wannabe party founder Ad van den Berg:

To ease the ASPCA agreement, an additional condition is proposed: that the party members' faces be covered at all times to avoid mental damage to the participating donkeys.

The only curious item in the above linked article is:

The party also said everybody should be allowed to go naked in public and promotes legalising all soft and hard drugs and free train travel for all.

Does this specific group of paedophiles link the use of drugs to train travel? Interesting...

P.S. Upon reading the original article another time, I became not so sure whether the picture in this post is of Ad van den Berg, of the article's author or even a member of "the vast majority of the Dutch public". Since the answer to this question is pertinent only to the issue of face cover, it is secondary anyway.

Biased BBC and June 18

No, that post is not about what you may have thought, you dirty-minded lefties/righties you. It is about something completely different, and even the Euston Manifesto will not be mentioned here.

It is about football. Not that murderous occupation of Norte Americano imperialists, but the real game. And here is what BBC says under a pretentious headline Beating Brazil:

On Sunday 18 June in Munich, Australia will play the biggest football match in the country's history. The Socceroos come face-to-face with world champions Brazil in the Allianz Arena in a game that could decide their World Cup Group F fate. But how does a country playing in just its second finals prepare for a tie with the five-time champions and favourites to retain their crown?

The answer is simple: start praying. However, the Aussies' coach is full of spunk:

We are not turning up just to make up the numbers, I guarantee that. We've got players who can compete at this level and we're expecting them to do that.

Yeah, sure. That statement meshes very good with the general stiff upper lip attitude
to the Game that poor Brits adopted for the last, let me see, no it cannot be, yes it is - 40 years!

There must be a way to disabuse the Brits from that notion that they are good at this game. Maybe the place to start will be history, since they still consider England to be the cradle of football. Let's see what Wiki has to say about it:

Documented evidence of what is possibly the oldest organized activity resembling football can be found in a Chinese military manual written during the Han Dynasty in about 2nd century BC.

So here. And re the much more recent English festivities remotely resembling football as we know it:

These archaic forms of football would be played between neighbouring towns and villages, involving an unlimited number of players on opposing teams, who would clash in a heaving mass of people struggling to drag an inflated pig's bladder by any means possible to markers at each end of a town (sometimes instead of markers, the teams would attempt to kick the bladder into the balcony of the opponents church).

Dragging pig's bladder to the other end of a town - this is a revelation for me. It explains a lot... No offence, really, but you know how it is with truth. It may hurt sometimes. Now back to the Aussies' coach:

When you talk about Cafu and Roberto Carlos you have to remember their ages - Cafu is 36 now and doesn't play all the time for AC Milan, while Carlos is only three years younger.

That intrepid coach needs some information, and here it comes. This is Roberto Carlos:

Don't be afraid - he does not do it more than, say, 10-20 times per game. And this is his shoe:

That shoe alone could tell many aspiring football players more about the game than a whole gang of coaches. So keep praying, and do not count on any favors. Unless the incredibly fickle goddess of football decides that Aussies, being in general cool and adorable people, deserve a sudden gift.

And re BBC bias: it is completely understandable. I mean, think about all these years of frustration. And the Teutonic minds feverishly working on the Mondial domination schemes. And Brazil waiting around the corner. And the miscellaneous Swedes, Paraguay, not to mention the mysterious Trinidad.

So it is only natural to turn to the only other Anglo-Saxon hope. But please remember, there always will be rugby, cricket and in the worst case you can ask Irish folks to teach you hurling. He he...

30 May 2006

To all English-writing Israeli bloggers

You have now a virtual club you all can come in, hang your virtual hats/ski masks/wigs/..., sit down and relax with your colleagues over a virtual cup of coffee (fat chance with an Israeli blogger colleague!).

No strings attached, all courtesy of Hanan Cohen, who created it over here. This site is also running a ticker tape with the posts you create, so all in all a commendable job.

Some mysterious thingy named Gregarius is involved, but I shall not dare to explain it...

More power to Hanan and go an register there.

No to depression! Lonesome no more!

Making old Joseph happy

Natfhe conference supports blacklist of Israeli academics, says Engage.

Conference invites members to consider their own responsibility for ensuring equity and non-discrimination in contacts with Israeli educational institutions or individuals and to consider the appropriateness of a boycott of those that do not publicly dissociate themselves from such policies.

On one hand - who gives a flying fuck? On the other - that "boycott of those that do not publicly dissociate themselves from such policies" reminds too vividly this picture:

Of course, most of the Natfhe dumbos that voted for this resolution may be too young to remember and too stupid to understand.

I am waiting now for a notice about an e-mail address and a phone number where I could report a few closet Zionists that still support and condone secretly, while dissociating publicly.

Also - where does one get some politically correct ash to sprinkle on one's head while dissociating? And what is the correct way to tear one's clothes while going at it?

Questions, questions...

Update: I cannot avoid adding the following quote from the Guardian report:

...said Tom Hickey, a philosophy lecturer from the University of Brighton, member of the union's national executive committee and proposer of the motion. "Turning a blind eye to what an Israeli colleague thinks [sic!] about the actions of their government is a culpable blindness."

Priceless! Even good ole Joseph did not go into the suspects' thought process...

Good job

Donald Macintyre of Independent reports from Jerusalem:

Meanwhile three Palestinians were killed and at least four wounded in an Israeli air force missile strike late last night on a sector of northern Gaza reportedly used for the launching of Qassam missiles.

Need to get your sorry ass from Jerusalem hotels and move around more, Donald: here is what Haaretz reports:

IDF special forces troops, operating deep in Gaza in a rare Israeli ground operation inside the Strip, killed at least three members of an Islamic Jihad Qassam crew setting up to fire rockets into Israel early on Tuesday.

And here is the picture:

And here is the caption to that picture (by AP, lest somebody claims Zionist manipulation of the media):

Gazans removing the body of a member of a Qassam crew killed early Tuesday by IDF troops as he prepared to fire a rocket into Israel. (AP)

Now go back to the text by Mr. Macintyre. Notice his skillful avoidance of any term, even the usual "militant" is missing.


Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

29 May 2006

That blissful detachment

It is very instructive to browse from time to time through the Guardian Israeli shelf at the http://www.guardian.co.uk/israel/. There is really no quiet moment on that shelf, and it keeps growing at a speed that would be envied by many other countries (if, indeed, other countries could care about coverage by Guardian).

There are quite a few contributors to the ever-rising stack of articles. They do not think alike, they do not write alike, they are not alike. However, there is one common trait that unites them: that intangible, but easy to distinguish ability to detach themselves from reality in favor of the point they are intent to make. That ivory tower syndrome, so to say.

Take as an example what two different authors say about Israeli shelling of Gaza. Chris McGreal in this article:

The military says the bombardment is aimed at deterring Palestinian rocket attacks into Israel from open fields...

And Jonathan Freedland in this piece:

Gazans are living with round-the-clock artillery shelling, which Israel says is retaliation for the Qassam rockets fired by Palestinians over the border.

To be fair to Chris McGreal (which I loath to be), at least he does not skew the purpose of the bombardment - unlike Jonathan Freedland, whose ivory tower is loftier, probably, and allows the reality to be skewed even more.

But this is less important than the fact that all Guardian authors on that shelf relate to the incessant launching of Qassams as if it is a normal day-to-day pastime of any neighboring country and is, in fact, an unalienable right of every person. I cannot find a single article dealing with Qassams from the Israeli side.

While becrying the hardships (real, no argument here) of the Gazans, not one of the ivory tower thinkers asks himself or his audience a simple question: what would happen if the Gazans try, for a change, to behave as if they are not an occupied and oppressed sufferers but as if they are free people who need to build their own future? What will happen if they decide to stop launching rockets, smuggling arms and explosives, attacking the same border checkpoints that provide their livelihood and in general stop devising new ways to kill the Jooz?

No, a question like this is too practical and simple, thus not an option for the occupiers of ivory towers. Jonathan Freedland takes the issue to a higher level of atmosphere, where a mortal human brain will quit to function due to the lack of oxygen. Undeterred by the low oxygen level, he deigns to offer the following:

Time after time Israel has sought to bypass Palestinians' chosen representatives, deeming them too extreme. Eventually, it has had little choice but to deal with the official leadership - only to find it has been overtaken by a more radical alternative. Israel ignored and undermined Fatah, so it got Hamas. Now, Palestinians warn, if Israel won't deal with Hamas it will eventually face Islamic Jihad or even al-Qaida, which is already making inroads in Gaza. When that day comes, Israel will regret missing its chance to deal with the relative moderates of Hamas.

Sorry, Jonathan, but I have some news for you: we have been dealing with Hamas, Islamic Jihad and other assorted "alphabet soup" gangs during the oh so moderate Yasser's reign. For some reason that might be hidden from you, the chosen leader Yasser did not move his little finger to prevent the killings. Nor do the "relative moderates" (really a pinnacle of verbal acrobatics) of Hamas, who have declared that they will not interfere with all these gangs.

And that pitiful attempt to frighten us with "even al-Qaida" - this is really pathetic. So another bunch of people intent to kill some Jooz calls itself al-Qaida. What else is new? Should an al-Qaida suicide bomber make a stronger impression on somebody than one from PFLP, Hamas, Jihad Islami or any other lunatic?

And the so called "ceasefire" you are mentioning is just a sham, as long as Hamas allows the other ready and willing gangs continue with their own "business as usual" without interference. Nothing new here, really, and no ideas forthcoming from the Guardian's shelf.

So Israel should take the lead, urging the US, Britain and the rest of the world to allow this money through.

And who will guarantee that the money will be used to finance hospitals and schools instead of being used to buy more arms?

Meanwhile, the two sides can engage in day-to-day, practical cooperation - without either having to take the unpalatable step of recognising the other.

Yes, quite a cooperation model - with one side following a proviso of its own making: cooperate and kill some Jooz on the side. How does the answer look from the tower, Jonathan?

Vague, I am afraid, like all the other answers...

28 May 2006

A shocking development in search for Hoffa

This will be definitely a memorable occasion in FBI's history:

Agents Turn to Shovels in Search for Hoffa, says the headline from AP (via Guardian).

Searchers turned to using shovels Sunday as they resumed digging in an area of a horse farm where FBI agents think former Teamster leader Jimmy Hoffa might be buried. That section of the Hidden Dreams Farm had been worked over by a backhoe a day earlier. Digging at the 89-acre site was expected to continue through the holiday weekend, said FBI spokeswoman Dawn Clenney.

I hope the pictures of FBI agents shovelling dirt will be published as soon as possible. It will be a historic turn in the life of the suits.

I need my garden refreshed and I wouldn't mind a little cellar in the north-west corner. Just recently I have seen a fragment of what appeared to be a bone somewhere in the garden(hint)...

inter-gender communication, a new philosophy

Here's the thing, it's not everyday that we can claim to have achieved illumination. Is your domestic life unfulfilling? Do you sometimes feel as though you can't get through to your partner? Has your husband lost his hearing, in your immediate vicinity? Has your wife adopted a strange language?

From the culture that brought us Algebra, rises a new guru, one that will leave the likes of Dr. Ruth Westheimer and Dr. John Gray in the dust. See, as this expert will demonstrate, the west is so far behind in behavioral sciences, the specific field of inter-gender communication that the only reasonable way to describe the west's combined "so called" civilized thinking would be, primitive…

Now this dude preaches a philosophy that most of us westerners are apparently not masculine enough to work out for ourselves – in a nutshell; Men should be silent and contemplate, whereas women should just Shut-The-Fuck-Up and think before they open their cakehole…

Note the complex presentation, without which I must admit, this multifaceted philosophy would have been way beyond my grasp.

Click here for some New Age Personal Growth.

26 May 2006

Another blow to the skeptics

For years Israeli customers complained about the problems use of Pelephone cellphones causes when traveling abroad. Being not in tune with most European cell phone providers' technology, Pelephone is feverishly looking for alternatives for its users who still stupidly insist that they must visit a foreign country.

If you look at that page, the number of alternatives Pelephone offers far exceeds one's comprehension and leaves a lingering suspicion that something there is fishy. And it is, witness many horror stories about the adventures related to some of these alternatives...

But now, finally, Pelephone got a success story. Says Debkafile(re the investigation of the Dahab terrorist attack):

An instrument was found in the debris of the Dahab attack. It was believed at first to belong to one of the Israeli holidaymakers at Dahab. But when Israeli security examined the recorded calls at the phone company, they found the three suicide bombers led by Youseff Mohrab had used it for conversations from Gaza.

I submit that a phone that works in the wilderness of the Sinai Peninsula will work everywhere. And that Pelephone is vindicated in the eyes of its loyal customers!

P.S. Debkafile is frequently very far off target in their scoops, so if the whole story is a crock, my apologies to Pelephone: it means that you still have to find a roaming solution then...

Is peace in the Middle East possible?

For all of you pessimists out there (click to enlarge):


Gambling or paying old debts?

I have been tardy lately with the weekly scan of the blogs I have blogrolled, what with this and that. Mainly it is this, but some undeniable elements of that could not be... er... denied.

So it is only today that I have read the post titled "In need of an intervention" by David/Treppenwitz. There is a lot I agree with in that article. Even with the title. It may be a good time to remind our newly created neighbors some rules of neighborly behavior.

However, there is a common thread to this post I have to argue with. And it is difficult to argue with Treppenwitz, especially when the playing field is his home one (English). Besides, SimplyJews are rarely using polite language, and this is one of the rare exceptions where politeness is called for.

Anyhow, this thread I have a problem with is gambling David is so much against. I am against gambling too, by the way - on general principles. However, this country with all its fair citizenry is a gamble from the word "go". Declaration of independence was a gamble, and we are already past celebrating the 58th. All our wars were gambles, each to its own degree. Etc., and most of the people who are not suited to it are not with us, but somewhere else, where gambling could be reduced to a relatively harmless loss of all your earthly belongings in a casino.

But the main gamble, the one we (our fathers and, in some cases, grandfathers, to be precise) took was one of 1967. The gamble of staying out there, where we do neither belong nor wanted. The gamble of not deciding to finalize the borders in a (painful, no doubts) round of negotiations, but hoping that it will somehow happen to be "beseder" (OK).

And as a result we have two (three) generations of people who are absolutely sure that it is ours, that these hills, stones, sparse grass and an occasional snake or scorpion of Judea and Samaria are a mandatory part of our national body and spirit. That it is permissible and even laudable to spill our blood and, (of course, surely) the blood of our cousins for each of these hills, stones and other pieces of this real estate.

David, you say:

Why is it that the Israeli government, whose strong suit has never been the ability to think strategically (meaning being able to plan more than 15 minutes into the future) ... is completely unaware that it has lost its legendary ability to think tactically (meaning being able to extricate itself from a jam in which most normal countries wouldn't be caught in the first place!)?

It is exactly that lack of strategic thinking in 1967 that brought us to the necessity to gamble today. Gambles of our fathers, so to say. By the way, I wouldn't blame our government for something all others share. Lack of strategic thinking, that is. This is something politicians all over the world and all over the history lack to the same degree, in my opinion.

But the main point I would like to make is not the outstanding (or not) qualities of our politicos. It is the great divide created by the aftermath of 1967 in our nation. It is more dangerous than anything else. If I have to make a choice between secure borders and united people... well, there is no choice for me, actually. United we stand, and for a divided nation there are no secure borders, only a countdown.


You are saying quite a few bitter things, including some about the sickness of the people in the current government. I am not to be a judge of that. I am sure you have your reasons. But I seriously doubt they are sicker than other politicians we let to rule us before. I am also quite sure that you do not have enough to base this hasty judgment upon and that it reflects more of your current mood than what you really think.

P.S. To set the record straight and to save some breath to some people: I love these hills we are going to give back. I ate too much dust and other stuff there as a soldier to be indifferent to their fate.

25 May 2006

Wow - what a job!

I have finally understood what I would like to do with the rest of my life. It is so simple - like a 1000 watt bulb going off in your head!

And it happened reading this editorial in NYT. Wow, man! You get, like, a blog of your own, but a) you get paid a good buck and b) lotsa folks are going to read it. And all the other conveniences of the blog: anonymity (it is NYT that has written it, after all, not a specific bloke - go and clean the clock of all the flunkies there - quite a sweaty undertaking), ability to write any bullshit that comes to mind and stuff...

Just look at it:

Now, because of two culprits and one enabler -— Hamas, Prime Minister Ehud Olmert of Israel and President Bush -— that hill is becoming a mountain.

I mean, isn't it cool: that poor Ehud, barely a week in his job and already a "culprit". Of course, he cannot bash the author's teeth in for the reason stated above, but I bet he wanna to...

Or that other thing:

Mr. Olmert wants to go ahead with Ariel Sharon's misbegotten plan to unilaterally redraw the borders of what could eventually be Palestine.

Not only is the author anonymous, but the old fatso is in no shape to visit NYT offices and sit down for a while on the author's puny bones. Too bad. And of course the fact that "Mr. Olmert" declares every day that he wants to negotiate first and only in case of failure to make some unilateral steps does not count...

The key word here is unilaterally, because the Israelis are prepared to do this without any input from the Palestinians.

But we do get lots of input, dear Anonymous: more than 600 Qassams since the disengagement. How is that for a model of the future neighborhood relations?

But this is not the pearl yet. Here comes the pearl:

To a significant degree, the Palestinians put themselves in this spot by electing Hamas to run their government, and the Bush administration is right to refuse to legitimize a government dedicated to the destruction of Israel. But Mr. Bush should not punish the Palestinian people by endorsing any unilateral proposal -— doing that would punish them for exercising their democratic right to vote.

I wonder to what degree the author is full of that brown substance. The answer is, most probably: to a significant degree. For all these years of Likud governments we heard the calls for Israel to be punished for electing them. Mind you, not one of these governments called for elimination of Palestinians or even something close to that. And now, when the openly anti-Semitic gang of fundies is democratically elected: please don't punish the poor folks.

Yeah. Groovy. I still want to write these idiotorials for NYT, but first: give me that bloke to clean his clock for him. Please?

Clarification re the look-alikes

AbbaGav brought forth an interesting observation regarding the post dealing with the (superficial) likeness of Ismail Haniyeh and George Clooney.

He thought that the Hanieh's picture is in reality a picture of another Hamas employee, Khaled Meshaal. I have rechecked the issue, and here is the picture of Meshaal.

While there is some similarity, this underassassinated character is not, in fact, Ismail Haniyeh of that previous post. So no mistake.

On the other hand, the similarity is there. No argument. So much so, that if Haniyeh, Meshaal and Clooney were gathered in the same room, an operative in a hurry could easily rub out a wrong person.

To avoid such a grave mistake, here is a quick two-step guide for identification of the right person:

  1. The one without the tie is Khaled Meshaal, and bless your gun/knife/...
  2. Of the remaining two: the one who goes down on all four to say his last prayer (but tell him to be quick about it) is Ismail Haniyeh. Same blessing as before.
I hope you have already gathered who the remaining one is. Do not hurt a hair on his head! He is an important source of income for IRS, Hollywood and his ex(es?).

The many faces of treason

Yossi Sarid is a clever person. Witty, great speaker, knows to stand for what he believes in. There is one character flaw (to my taste) that stains the shiny armor and, incidentally, did not let his political career flourishing: his enormous ego.

In a moment of hindsight clarity he asks himself (and, of course, the reader):

I was asked to speak on "Treachery in politics." On my way to Jerusalem, I conducted a little soul-searching of my own: Did I betray? I remembered two incidents that raise the suspicion of treachery. [skipping the first incident]

The other case was in 2000. Finally, a centrist-leftist government was formed to be a "peace government." And once again, I slammed the door because I refused to pay NIS 100 million in black money, coalition-extortion fees. Maybe it was the first crack ahead of the great collapse. The horns of the dilemma butted at, and pained, me: On the one hand, it was as if our resignation was clipping the wings of peace, but on the other hand, we were fighting political corruption. So who was betrayed, and by what? Those who didn't hear the beating wings of history or those who did not agree to become corrupt? History has another trial to conduct.

We are not conducting polls here, so it is my personal opinion: yes, Yossi, it was a treason.

Just as a reminder: here is a picture where Yossi sits near the man he betrayed. Not a favorite hero for me, the betrayed. Somewhat of a buffoon, if you will. But the circumstances put him in spot in time where something good may have happened to all of us.

Unfortunately, the same circumstances put Yossi in a spot where his ego and inability to be a man enough to know when to shut his mouth prevented that other man from moving where we wanted him to move.

Still, Yossi naively expects a history judgment:

How can we learn to tell the difference between betrayal that will go down in infamy and betrayal that will be known for its glory? Here, too, the profit and loss test is proposed. If the tested, meaning the betrayers, are going to profit from the betrayal, then suspect them; and if they could lose their world - going against the evil current and swimming against the muddy waters, then surely respect them. That test may not be perfect, but it is a vital aid in judging intentions and innocence. If it is used wisely, it can even beat the judgment of history to the punch.

First of all, the profit test is insufficient. The ego test is no less vital in cases like this. Yossi fails the test miserably.

And another point: history does not deal in trifles. Unfortunately, this is where the betrayal relegated Yossi to. Too bad.

24 May 2006

So take heed ye spawn of the devil and sons of apes, dogs and swine!

Quite a call for attention, ain't it? Now read this.

FAQ - new installment

I bet you perverts are already clamoring for a new episode in the FAQ series. Since, most probably, you do not even remember in your alcoholic and/or drug-induced stupor what it is all about: this is some selective fishing I am doing from the muddy sea of search strings arriving daily to SimplyJews. The truth is that some of the strings couldn't be even posted here without a frightful outcry from the whole spectrum of maddies - from the tree-huggers to the Jewwatch.

So it is only a carefully chosen subset. Enjoy.

Q: Nude jews?

A: TANSTAAFL (There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch). You want - you pay.

Q: JFK + Mossad?

A: As usual.

Q: When do you sing Hatikva?

A: Minimum three times a day, always in the public places, so the supervisor could mark it in your Hatikva quota card. Beyond that - as you wish, with one exception: restrooms.

Q: What does it mean Iran nuclear success?

A: Could mean a lot of glassified ground in the Middle East. Cockroaches only area.

Q: Start of jews?

A: I am easy to start. Just take a lot of air and shout some gubberish behind my back.

Q: Gib a kook?

A: OK. Where?

Q: Nature borgeous cosmetic?

A: So you too are getting sick of all that Dead Sea shit they sell on every corner?

Q: Meryl Strip nuclear?

A: No, please, let's consider nuclear Iran instead.

Q: Snoopy border uk?

A: This here Snoopy does not have no steenking borders.

Q: Welsh Jews?

A: I hope you see now what kind of perverts use Google?

Q: There simply must be Jews?

A: If you say so, we are fine with it.

Q: How do jews feel about Israel?

A: How do you like that Jewish habit of answering a question by a question?

Q: Contribution of elders?

A: Immense, I tell you, simply immense. And if you dare to think differently, prepare to suffer the consequences. And use a capital E when you mention Elders, you creep!

Q: Male chauvinism sms?

A: No, we did not hear about it, but it sounds like a neat trick. If you learn how, give us a call, will you?

Q: Well brought up?

A: No, this is definitely a wrong place to look for well brought up people.

Peace in installments or you just wait...

The press made a big deal out of the latest utterance of the Hamas Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh.

Haaretz put up a misleading headline:

Hamas PM Haniyeh: Retreat to 1967 borders will bring peace

The small letters of the article tell a different story:

"If Israel withdraws to the 1967 borders, peace will prevail and we will implement a cease-fire [hudna] for many years," Haniyeh said during an interview in his south Gaza office. "Our government is prepared to maintain a long-term cease-fire with Israel."

So, "peace will prevail" on one hand and "a cease-fire[hudna]" on the other. In other words, nothing new happened, same pitiful attempts to put some gloss over the same old and ugly face. Still the same offer of a hudna. Does it become more attractive when repeated multiple times? Hardly.

This time, however, another Hamas leader put a new feature into the offer:

Palestinian Transportation Minister Ziad Zaza described the hudna during the interview as "the cease-fire that will be renewed automatically each time."
Since we have not seen yet the whole contract draft, I wonder where is the clause of "Termination For Convenience"? In other words, does Hamas intend to warn us in advance when they get a club big enough to bash our collective head in?

Guardian, on the other hand, appears to take an attitude of detachment. In the article mostly dedicated to Olmert's Washington visit, Suzanne Goldenberg and Chris McGreal (who else, indeed, but these two experts in Middle Eastern affairs) say:

Earlier yesterday, the Palestinian prime minister, Ismail Haniyeh, told the Israeli press that Hamas would call a long-term ceasefire if Israel withdrew from all the land it occupied in the 1967 war. But the statement, a reiteration of Hamas's stated policy, falls short of western demands for the Islamist group to recognise Israel.

So the requirement of mutual recognition and rejection of the murderous Hamas charter is not something a normal person would request. It is "western demands" only. Nice touch.

On a related subject: I have just happened to stumble on these two pictures one after another:

No, no, I am not trying to hint that Haniyeh and Clooney were separated at birth, the likeness is too superficial in this case.

I can only state that I have a suspicion now who is the role model for Haniyeh's make-up team...

23 May 2006

35 Jews volunteered for suicide attacks

This article posted in Ynet has been the cause of a lot of speculation, and like us, you've probably been wondering whether there is any substance behind it - here's the essence of it;

"An Iranian terror leader who said on Sunday that he planned to send suicide bombers to Israel via Britain claims 35 Jews also volunteered for attack"

Here at the Elders Hasbara department, we must confess to having been caught out of the info loop and had to contact our MullahMatrix™ (MM's) operators for some explanations. Eldering, as a profession can place one in the thick of it, and our MM's have certainly had their sticky fat fingers deep in the Chunky Monkey this time. Controlling some of these Mad Mullah mothers can get tricky at times, it's as though they have a mind of their own (collectively speaking that is).

Of course getting a straight answers from our MM's is almost impossible - their chief liaison officer, Arik can't keep his mouth bagel free long enough to verbalize a splutter free coherent sentence (he claims that it's his own development of an Oral Encryption technique). Arik first referred to the following passage taken from the article;

"The organization claims it works independently, but it in fact receives support from the Iranian regime. Searches for new recruits are carried out mainly in Britain, due to the belief that it is relatively easy to enter Israel with a British passport."

Having pointed us in the direction of the rot infested drizzle isle, Arik supplied the following names, profiles and means of recruitment;

Narc Leprechaun of YidsSansYfronts (a protest organization made up of victims of Zionist circumcision gone wrong, who find Yfronts a spanning hurdle). Narc who suffers from Blog induced coprolalia has been promised a properly dimensioned functioning putz, upon arrival in paradise.

Jerboas for Jesus [incapacitated by] Fibrinous Polyserositis, has been a particularly good underground sleeper recruiting source for the Mullah's. Names are scarce; however their leader is reputed to be a female, no taller than a sitting dog, known to wear weird hats. We know that these identifying clues are vague, but apparently one guaranteed method of flushing it out, is to accuse it of being a Zionist – whereupon this vociferous vertically challenged individual will respond with a spontaneous medley of Christmas Carols, and rush to harvest the nearest Olive tree.

Check-In with us periodically, as we reveal this unfolding plot.

Noam the Master Mind and Nasrallah

Noam the Master Mind has fulfilled his dream of visiting Lebanon. Every youngster has a list of coveted destinations better left for the golden years of retirement, and here it came for Chomsky.

Unfortunately, Chomsky decided that there must be a political payment made to his graceful hosts, and the hosts happened to be the nice folks of Hezbolla.

And here he is, ingratiating his regal self to the group that even the Lebanese themselves despise and fear:

I think Nasrallah has a reasoned argument and persuasive argument that they should be in the hands of Hezbollah (the arms) as a deterrent to potential aggression, and there is plenty of background reasons for that. So until, I think his position reporting it correctly and it seems to me reasonable position, is that until there is a general political settlement in the region, the threat of aggression and violence is reduced or eliminated there has to be a deterrent, and the Lebanese army can't be a deterrent.

So says the mastermind. "Potential aggression" - from where? One guess (and it is not Switzerland). But the Lebanese know better.

Another third observer said "Chomsky showed poor judgment in jumping to this quick conclusion about the Hezbollah arms. Chomsky he added "does not know that the Hezbollah arms scare the Lebanese people more than the Israelis."

Chomsky obviously doesn'’t know that Hezbollah and its allies fought the Cedar Revolution by aligning themselves with the Syrian regime.

The above comes from a source that even a prejudiced observer will not be able to blame in sympathy to Zionists. And that source has more to say:

"Chomsky needs to live here for a while to understand what happened during the past 30 years and why most Lebanese are against the Hezbollah arms."

One of Chomsky's stated objectives in visiting Lebanon is to learn about the country. Many political observers feel that if all Chomsky learnt was for Hezbollah to keep its arms, then he didn'’t learn much during his short trip.

No worries, folks. The Master Mind does not "learn" things, he deduces them. For many years Noam disregards facts that are either inconvenient or too bothersome for his brain, preferring instead to pelt the defenseles humanity by his decrees. The list of what Chomsky does not know (but has a fully informed opinion about) is endless, and it has never interfered with his ability to put forth the most ridiculous postulates.

It seems that in his professional life the things are not much better (although I have to confess that I know nothing about the subject). See here.

They say that denial is not a river. Shall Noam take heed?

22 May 2006

The brave new world.

An article about the war in Afghanistan in the on-line edition of Guardian introduced a new term that caused me shivers:

In one of the most intense assaults since 2001, the Taliban attacked a village in Helmand province on Wednesday night, using suicide bombs and firearms.

It is true that Taliban and its likes got close to the goal of fully dehumanizing the candidates for martyrdom. Does it follow from here that the western mass media can treat these people the same way?

I hope this is a genuine mistake. But since the article is signed by "staff and agencies" there is no one to address the issue to. Fairly dehumanizing practice that, methinks...

Sex change in Saudi Arabia: pros and cons

Saudi sex-changes empower some, shock others. That's the take of Jordanian Albawaba on the subject.

A recent phenomenon in Saudi Arabia has raised eyebrows for many and calls for a closer look at the Kingdom's conservative society: sex-change operations. Reports reveal that in 2005, there were no less than five cases of women who underwent surgery to become men in the Kingdom, according to Al Watan.

If you look at the above picture (from the same article), it becomes immediately clear that the raised eyebrows are attached to the male half of the Saudis. It is impossible to glimpse the state of the eyebrow on the person dressed that way.

Though this may seem like a small number considering Saudi Arabia's population of more than 26 million, the figure comes as a shock to many in the conservative Muslim society, as Saudi Arabia remains one of the most traditional countries in the region, especially regarding sexuality and equal rights for men and women.

Some Saudi officials have reportedly laid blame for the shocking phenomenon on the blasphemous influences of the West, as well as on "psychological defects" of those who underwent the surgery.

Let's disregard for the moment what these male chauvinists of Saudi Arabia think and what they raise as a response to the wondrous transformation. Let's look at the pros and cons of the change in an objective way.


  • You can drive a car
  • You can marry four of your ex-colleagues. And they will actually listen to the orders you issue (well, in theory at least)
  • You can go out shopping by yourself
  • You wouldn't be stoned for adultery
  • You wouldn't be jailed after getting raped
  • Free of all this heavy clothing that makes you sweat in that infernal heat
  • Free of having to painfully deliver all these children
  • Who in his sane mind wants to drive a car in the Middle East if it could be avoided?
  • Who in his sane mind wants more trouble than one spouse can create?
  • The shopping will be much less attractive now, almost no point in it
  • When going for adultery, make sure it is with a person of a female gender, otherwise you will be declared gay with all the consequences
  • When being raped - same as above
  • Yeah, the extra clothing is off, but these additional er... extremities really do not like heat, I can tell you. And there is the issue of shrinkage in the pool and the problem of aiming...
  • Yes, no pain of giving birth to all these brood, but then one or more of them will smother you with a pillow to divide your earthly possessions...
All the above is the stuff headaches are made of, so I have decided to check with SWMBO. The answer was swift and simple:
  1. No way she is going to accept all these responsibilities with no visible rewards
  2. The women in question should fight for their liberation, instead of going for a doubtful surgery that will make them second class people

21 May 2006

Hate speech on campus? You must be joking.

Nothing especially new here. Another university, another day, another hate speech.

Still, it is worth to see and listen to due to the exceptional level of hate and vitriol. There are moments when you are afraid that the speaker will choke on his own spit. But no, he survived.

For some reason UCI (University of California, Irvine) had not published the happening on its site. On the other hand, they promote peaceful dialog...

(Do they wash both hands or only the other one?)

Hat tip: ZNN

So you do need badges after all!

IRNA - the official Iran's news agency - reported that the achievements of Iran in scientific research are lauded by UNESCO.

The UNESCO Chief Koichiro Matsuura in a message to the Third Isfahan Sheikh-Bahaei Job Creation Festival lauded Iran's peaceful activities aiming to promote science and culture.

The message, which was read at the festival's closing ceremony by the Head of UNESCO representative office in Tehran Abedin Saleh on Friday, appreciated the efforts of the Iranian government and its successful cooperation with UNESCO in all fields, particularly in the domains of science and technology.

Unfortunately, we must disappoint the Iranian folks in general and IRNA in particular. You see, the cavalier attitude of UNESCO toward the security issue is at the root of the whole story. That, and the phenomenon according to which every Oriental person looks the same to every Occidental person.

And the result - a prank video call from UNESCO offices by a Japanese stand-up comedian to Abedin Saleh. And the whole ensuing confusion.

So, UNESCO really must rethink their "we don't need no steenking badges" policy...

Further on the subject of pranks:

EU starts releasing statements on Iran in Persian

"We know that a big majority of Iranians can read English, but the aim is to be able to reach out easier to the Iranian people,'' Cristina Gallach, spokesperson for EU High Representative Javier Solana, told IRNA in Brussels.

On Thursday for the first time, the EU issued the conclusions adopted on Iran by the EU foreign ministers during their meeting in Brussels on Monday in Persian.

For all the good it will do, these conclusions may as well be released in Sanskrit...

20 May 2006

A pretty bizarre story

Ynet published what would be a good plot for a new spy serial.

Terrorists planned to blow up El Al plane

Swiss security services uncover 2005 plot to bring down Israeli plane during takeoff through RPG attack.

A plot to blow up an El Al plane at Geneva's international airport has been thwarted. Swiss intelligence agencies uncovered a terrorist cell last December that plotted to strike an Israeli plane while it was taking off through an RPG rocket attack in December 2005.

RPG would definitely not figure as a weapon of my choice to bring down a plane, but the dolts in question probably do not know much about these affairs. Anyway, it is just a start for the thickening intrigue.

The plot to shoot the plane was uncovered by Claude Kuvasi, a Swiss secret service member who worked under the codename Babylon. Swiss newspaper Blick reported that Kuvasi was planted as an undercover agent in an Islamic center in Geneva to find out if a terror cell was operating in it. In order to encourage the trust of the head of the Islamic center, Hani Ramadan, Kuvasi converted to Islam.

Really, a courageous act. It seems that a valiant Swiss secret service warrior will stop at nothing in pursuit of his goals. And here comes the big payola:

Phone taps on the terrorists revealed that the terrorists planned to smuggle an RPG rocket from Russia and fire it at the plane, before escaping to Iraq. Kuvasi gave a warning about the terrorist attack to his handlers on December 12, 2005.

However, the seeds of the new teachings grew and produced fruit:

Kuvasi, who became closer to the head of the Islamic center in Geneva, Hani Ramadan, feared that his new friend will face complications due to the fact that some of his students planned a terror attack. Kuvasi wrote a letter to Ramdadan saying his conscience guided him and he was therefore obligated to reveal how Swiss intelligence spied on him.

The revelation has since taken a bizarre twist, with the Blick newspaper reporting that Kuvasi, who recently carried out a spying job in Syria, escaped his handlers, and is hiding in Egypt. The former agent is now hoping that the current revelation will prevent Swiss intelligence from interrogating and torturing Islamic suspects.

If this story doesn't leave Le Carre standing, I am a big hairy spider. Er... actually I am, but it does not matter.

In related news Ynet brings up another Swiss twist, directly related to the above:

Europe objects to El Al's anti-missile shield

European countries set to bar Israeli aircraft equipped with ant-missile system from landing at their airports

El Al passenger planes will be barred from landing in some European countries because they have been equipped with defense systems against shoulder-held missiles, German newspaper Der Spiegel reported. The Swiss aviation authority has already barred El Al aircrafts equipped with the new system from landing in the country, and the German paper said more countries are expected to soon follow.

Of course, the El-Al defense system does not help against RPGs, only against missiles. In any case, the decision hardly lends itself to a logical explanation. It has rather more to deal with the usual EU bureaucracy and stupidity than with anything else.

Oh well, we should just wait for the usual scum deciding that it is the turn of one of European airlines to become a target.

Jews don't want to run the world any more?

Some junior Elders, it appears, are weary of their day-to-day tasks and declared an unsanctioned walkout. Of course, they do it in a hilarious way, so you better read it.

However, Miriam, you must be aware of repercussions. By now you should know that one does not resign from the Outfit. And we do not practice punishment by death, it is too easy.

So you better shape up and back to the yoke.

19 May 2006

The fourth Reich of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

I couldn't believe my eyes for a while, reading this (via Mick Hartley).

Human rights groups are raising alarms over a new law passed by the Iranian parliament that would require the country's Jews and Christians to wear coloured badges to identify them and other religious minorities as non-Muslims.

Iranian expatriates living in Canada yesterday confirmed reports that the Iranian parliament, called the Islamic Majlis, passed a law this week setting a dress code for all Iranians, requiring them to wear almost identical "standard Islamic garments."

The law, which must still be approved by Iran's "Supreme Guide" Ali Khamenehi before being put into effect, also establishes special insignia to be worn by non-Muslims.

Iran's roughly 25,000 Jews would have to sew a yellow strip of cloth on the front of their clothes, while Christians would wear red badges and Zoroastrians would be forced to wear blue cloth.

The new law was drafted two years ago, but was stuck in the Iranian parliament until recently when it was revived at the behest of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

When a completely mad person gets to all kinds of shenanigans in public, it could be quite embarrassing for the people who elected him to a high office. But when the parliament becomes a willing toy in the hands of a maniac, the world should take heed. Knowing the ways of the world, I do not expect much. But a few interested parties might want to sort out the situation.

I am not a prophet, but my advice to all Jews, Christians, Zoroastrians, gays and any other minorities: get out of there while there is time. And the time is getting short.

Update by Meryl: Another source says the story is untrue. However, it has been picked up and expanded on by Ynet and other news sources. And while I believe the current Iranian regime is perfectly capable of this, the jury is still out on whether or not this story is true.

Update by SnoopyTheGoon: I hope that source is right, and the whole story is a hoax. There is a report in the London-based Arabic-language newspaper al-Sharq al-Awsat that talks about the new dress code law in Iran, without going into specific details. We should wait.

Update by Meryl, 5/20: The reports are being denied by the Canadian Iranian ambassador and a Jewish member of the Iranian parliament, and the MP who proposed the law in the first place.

But I see an interesting omission here. Funny, but you'd think that this would be the kind of thing that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would want to deny to prove that he's not anti-Semitic. He's the one who insists, over and over again, that it isn't Jews he's against. It's Zionism. The silence here is very telling.

Will this Hoffa hunch hold true?

FBI digs up Michigan farm in search of infamous union leader, says The Globe and Mail.

Burly FBI agents blocked the entrance to the horse farm next door where a dozen archeology students slowly poked holes in the soft, spring earth. They walked step by step in a grid search, as legions of journalists looked on.

I suspect that they are really looking for Saddam, since nobody in the State Department bothered to send FBI a signed letter in triplicate confirming his capture.

Where is that universal confusion icon?


Muhammad's DNA Found on Rifle

This headline from an AP article gave me a nasty shock. DNA - after all these years, and on a rifle?

Nah, it's another Muhammad this time, and I hope there will be no riots.

But AP should be more careful with the splashy headlines. They could easily add some qualifying remark to the name, such as "Muhammad (not PBUH)" or something...

Kenya's 'Koranic fish' disappears

The awesome tuna, all 2.5 kg of it, was stolen from the Kenyan Fisheries Department in Mombasa.

The tuna fish, which had provoked intense interest from Muslims, was apparently stolen by people posing as National Museum officials.

Officials from the museum and the country's fisheries department have launched a low-profile search for the stolen fish, fearing possible anger from Muslims if they hear it has been stolen.

Here is the picture, so that the grieving friends and relatives could have another look at the writings.

An aside to the media: it is past time to decide whether it's Koranic, Kuranic, Qoranic, Quranic. As well as to settle the issue of that Libyan character Qaddafi / Ghadaffy....

And, by the way, the sushi wasn't all that good. Elders will pay the market price mentioned in the article ($6), but not a penny more!

18 May 2006

Another "freedom fighter" bites the dust

Ward Churchill, professor of indefinite studies, the self-appointed Native American, he of the "little Eichmanns" fame, was found guilty of the worst offences a tenured professor cum scientist could possibly be guilty of (aside of raping his students). It appears that he plagiarized material and committed other types of academic violations.

Based on the investigation of those allegations, the committee unanimously found, by a preponderance of the evidence, that Professor Churchill committed several forms of academic misconduct as defined in the policy statements of the University of Colorado at Boulder and the university of Colorado system.

If you are so hot for seeing more proof, look here.

Couldn't have happened to a better person...

Oy vey, Joseph!

It is not an easy life between the loons on one side and the loons on the other. One has barely a moment to recover from a blow below the belt from the left, and while one is still bending over gasping for air, a loon on the right delivers a swift kick in one's backside.

This time it is our staunch supporter Joseph Fara of WND, who is not completely satisfied with the current (and the previous) government of Israel. After expressing his undying love to the tribe of Israel and his desire to see us all happy and healthy, he delivers that kick:

Yet, despite all this, I am through defending Israel - at least the regime currently in power in Jerusalem, this useless coalition seemingly hell-bent on committing national suicide.

You have, probably, already guessed, that by suicide Joseph means the "convergence" program of the new government.

Anyway, it is really a heavy blow. What, indeed, would we do without Joseph Fara defending our poor helpless lamb of a country (well, that armed to the red bloody teeth racist child-murdering apartheid Zionist entity according to these other loons)?

I shall not go into the whole hail and brimstone speech by Joseph, but some choice passages should be given the respect they deserve:

Israel has made the mistake many times throughout history of turning away from their God. Israel has made the mistake many times throughout history of putting faith in kings and men over the promises of Heaven. Israel has made the mistake many times throughout history of compromise with its ruthless enemies who seek not only the destruction of the Jews, but the oppression of their own people.

Enough of "land for peace." It has never worked - not in Israel's history, nor in any other nation's history. Enough of retreat. Enough of unilateral withdrawals. Enough of staged surrender. Enough of the appeasement with evil. Enough of the madness.

Compromise with evil is evil. And that's what Israel is doing. As for me and my house, I will not be a part of it. I will continue to serve the Lord and pray for the peace of Jerusalem.

Do you know what, Joseph, let's reach a compromise: you do the praying and we'll do the turning away. This way everyone will be happy, and the enemy will remain as he is now: totally confused.

And do not forget to deal with all these gays and atheists while you are at it. Cheers.

On another, almost unrelated subject: While absorbing the quoted article, my attention was briefly distracted by an interesting logo:

I wondered for a moment what are these new alternatives to homosexuality, but being of a cowardly deportment, decided not to read the small letters here.

Surely WND is contributing to this one?

Allahu Akbar, that's true

As if inspired by the example of his Palestinian brethren, a citizen of Turkey decided to express his dissatisfaction with his country justice system services in a similar way.

Five judges were wounded, two seriously, when a gunman shouting "Allah is great" opened fire during a session here of the Council of State, Turkey's highest administrative court, Ankara governor Kemal Onal said. Earlier media reports Wednesday said one judge had died in the attack by a man TV channels identified as lawyer Aslan Alpaslan, who was immediately arrested in possession of a handgun. Alpaslan broke into the room where the 2nd Chamber of the Council was in session on the eighth floor of the building and unloaded two clips from his automatic pistol, shouting "Allahu Akbar" -- God is Great -- the NTV and CNN-Turk news channels reported.

The sequence of events and the consequences show clearly that Allahu Akbar. First, the gun is miraculously provided to a lawyer, of all people, for crying out loud. Then the divine guidance allows our hero to pass the security undetected and undeterred. As a final act of compassion, the deity patiently lets the lawyer to empty two clips at the judges. To kill one of them and to maim another five.

Here the limits of the divine good will were reached. After all, in the grand scheme of things lawyers are not supposed to be expert marksmen to boot. Which shows how great and all around considerate Allah is.

Oh, and the reason for the lawyer's ire is clear:

One of the badly injured judges, 2nd Chamber president Mustafa Birden, was known for his rulings confirming a ban on women's Islamic headscarves in the public institutions and universities of Turkey, an overwhelmingly Muslim country with a strictly secular political system.

Obviously the story will make the judges sit up and listen to the voice of reason now. Or would it?

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

17 May 2006

I call it flatulence

Every now and then, we get a visionary's observation, one that rocks the world. An intellectual that presents civilization with a new perspective, one that uplifts humanity to new heights. However, most of the time we don't - we get to read utter crap, opinionated self righteous overblown hysterical claptrap.

According to this sticky diatribe by Daphna Baram, you would assume that Israel is the only country in the world that has immigration laws - a country that is to be considered racist, and god forbid (here comes the big A word) Apartheid

Now listen Daffy, we'll grant you that your Joowish Conscience indeed defines you as a Mench amongst the Plebs. However motek, before you let it run amok and use the big A word in the context of Israel, kindly measure it against the rest of the goyim; or in this case a good place to start, would be Denmark for instance, then you could research the Big Satan's immigration laws – or in your case, the country which now sets you apart from the Ostjuden in the Middle East.

Your minor Elder privileges have been revoked – no more Hummus for you.

16 May 2006

Better service or else

Gunmen storm Gaza cellphone company, says this article. The act, I believe, opens a new era in provider - customer relationships.

Palestinian gunmen stormed the headquarters of mobile company Jawwal in Gaza on Tuesday in protest at having their phones cut off in a sign of growing lawlessness in the coastal strip, employees said. They said around 20 gunmen entered the building saying their cellphone memory cards were not working. A short while later they began shooting, damaging over 10 computers but causing no casualties.

I cannot avoid some feeling of sympathy to the customers in this case. More than once, visiting a service center of my cellular provider (no names here), have I wished that I were carrying a gun or, at least, a few hand grenades, but better both.

This approach is definitely a novel way to avoid accumulation of tensions due to poor service and to improve the service at the same time, and our ministry of telecommunications could definitely learn from this example.

The article also mentions that some armed people also killed one senior Hamas member and wounded another, but this, most probably, was done by the same overexcited customers on the way to the service center. Which sad acts offer a lesson: the guns should be rented to the customers inside the service center, with a security deposit sufficiently high to make them return the guns upon departure.

Chavez's useful idiot

I confess that the title is stolen from this post by Andrew Ian Dodge. Only one letter is missing, since I would like to focus on one specific useful idiot who published a eulogy to Chavez here.

The text in question reminds me some compositions schoolchildren in Soviet Union were writing on subjects like "Why socialism is good and capitalism is bad?". So, yes, Chavez invests some of the petrodollars in health care, education and basic foodstuffs for the less fortunate, which is good.

Does it make him a socialist (and let's leave aside the question of whether socialism is good or bad for one's digestion)? No, he is still a demagogue populist of the sort that Latin America dutifully produced for the last two hundred years, and it will not come as a surprise if he becomes a regular caudillo. He already hinted broadly enough that his desire is to rule for another 25 years, and his behavior with the opposition has not passed unnoticed by the observers.

So what does our Useful Idiot (UI) discover?

These victories were achieved despite a private media largely controlled by opponents of the government.

Not any more, and Chavez took care of the tiniest voice of dissent forcefully enough.

Yet Chavez's visit has been met with absurd claims from rightwing activists that he is some kind of dictator.

Surely his best friends Fidel and Mugabe will vouch that he is not a dictator?

Now an extraordinary in its naivete (stupidity?) passage from the UI's article:

By chance, a TV crew was in the presidential palace when the military coup of April 2002 against Chavez took place. It captured minute by minute the events that unfolded. Anti-Chavez gunmen, in league with the coup organisers, opened fire on a pro-Chavez demonstration. As guns are commonplace in Venezuela, some in the crowd returned fire. US television stations manipulated these images by editing out the gunfire aimed at the pro- Chavez crowd to claim that anti-Chavez demonstrators had been attacked.

No nonsense, here, what? So simple, all in black in white - I can see Red Ken sitting on the floor looking up with admiration at Chavez telling the tale and dutifully absorbing the whole tall story.

Today Venezuela is being opposed largely on the basis of lies.

Could be, but the problem is that Venezuela is ruled on the basis of lies as well. I know that for a person with B&W vision this could be too difficult to comprehend.

It is the duty of all people who support progress, justice and democracy to stand with Venezuela.

Excellent composition, student Livingstone. Here is your red cravat.

And stop drooling on Hugo's lap.

The brownshirt star of Alabama

Montgomery Advertiser reports on continuing shenanigans of the Alabama's rising star Larry Darby.

BIRMINGHAM -- A Democratic candidate for attorney general denies the Holocaust occurred and said Friday he will speak this weekend to a "pro-white" organization that is widely viewed as being racist. Larry Darby concedes his views are radical, but he said they should help him win wide support among Alabama voters as he tries to "reawaken white racial awareness" with his campaign against Mobile County District Attorney John Tyson. Speaking in an interview with The Associated Press, Darby said he believes no more than 140,000 Jewish people died in Europe during World War II, and most of them succumbed to typhus.

Here is that character's picture, just in case:

He is a lawyer, so when you spit at him, keep a safe distance, spit usually bounces of these types.

Darby said he will speak today near Newark, N.J., at a meeting of National Vanguard, which bills itself as an advocate for the white race. Some of his campaign materials are posted on the group's Internet site. "It's time to stop pushing down the white man. We've been discriminated against too long," Darby said in the interview.

Tyson [Darby's competitor] said that aside from his views on race and the Holocaust, Darby also has publicly advocated legalizing drugs and shooting all illegal immigrants.

No need to comment, right?

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

15 May 2006

Another kind of fishing

Some people go fishing and get a wondrous message from Allah. On top of all the fish.

Some people, though, go fishing and get something entirely different:

Separately, an Israeli naval vessel intercepted a Palestinian boat off the coast of Gaza, confiscated several hundred kilograms of military-grade explosives and mines, and arrested its Palestinian crew, the army said.

The message from Allah in the first case was "God is the greatest of all providers".

It looks like he (she) provides every client according to the client's wishes lately.

14 May 2006

'Quranic' tuna inspires, awes Kenyan Muslims

It looks like a year for all kinds of living creatures with Quranic texts on their various hides. This time it is the turn of tuna.

MOMBASA, Kenya (AFP) - A tuna fish caught in the Indian Ocean this week has excited Kenyan Muslims who are flocking here by the hundreds to see a Quranic verse apparently embedded in its scales. Dubbed the "wonder fish" by locals in this port city, the 2.5-kilo (5.5-pound) tuna has attracted so much attention it has been placed in the custody of the National Fisheries Department for safekeeping, officials said.

Arabic scholars examined the fish and determined the writing was a Quranic verse meaning "God is the greatest of all providers," said Hassan Mohamed Hassan, an education officer with the National Museums of Kenya in Mombasa.

We wouldn't argue with the ability of god to provide, but why was that tuna so small? According to this, a real big tuna fish could be much, much heavier than the puny 2.5 kg.

Anyway, not to be outdone, the Elders present a miracle of their own here:

This tuna is both kosher and Danish. Or Swedish. Whatever... See?

First some facts

This is the first sentence of an article "Let's boycott the universities" by professor Steven Rose of the famous British company of Roses. And I do not mean the flowering shrub of the genus Rosa that makes the British gardeners deservedly famous. Rather a less attractive group of Roses, all of Jewish roots, that made the so-called anti-Zionism their business.

To give a general impression of the article: haven't I known in advance that the learned author is a respected scientist with a impeccable pedigree of studies in the best scientific and educational institutions in the land, I would have guessed that it is a post by one of the usual GUT hang-arounds. The article is pompous on one hand and written as if addressing a kindergarten on the other, and the last thing the author is concerned with are facts.

Here are some facts that Mr. Rose in his sweeping review has forgotten to mention:

Israel has a second government in a row that has declared that separation from the neighbors is its goal. It may do so from less than altruistic reasons, but the bottom line that it is a breakthrough in the institutional thought and should be encouraged by all who want to see an independent Palestinian state.

The Israeli society as a whole recognized the need for separation, for the de-facto end of the occupation, whether it will be a result of negotiations (preferable) or a one-sided move by Israel. So what has changed on the other side of the "apartheid wall"? I would like to be able to say zilch, but the reality is worse than that.

The previous government, lead by no other that the usual scarecrow of the rabid left and the Muslim word Ariel Sharon, declared and carried out the first round of disengagement. The sacred cow of the "we'll never remove a settlement" was butchered, and it was a great start in the right direction. Gaza was let free to start building the foundations of the future state. We all know what Palestinians are doing meanwhile with this opportunity. More than 600 Qassam rockets launched at Israel since disengagement and an elected government whose avowed goal is elimination of the State of Israel. The number of attempts to kill Jews has not dropped, it is just that we are getting better at stopping the suicide bombers.

I can continue, but the above is enough to show how a scientist (and Mr. Rose is purported to be one) can let his prejudice and, frankly, lack of understanding in what is clearly not biology, get him away from reality.

Of course, one could ask the question: why boycott now? Now, of all the times, when Israel is moving in the right direction? Why persist in that folly, knowing perfectly well that each call for boycott alienates another and another Israeli scientist and only strengthens the wall of mutual incomprehension?

But these are difficult questions for that superior scientific mind. It is much easier to deal with sweeping slogans like "the state of Israel is in illegal occupation of Palestinian lands", vague and slanderous statements like "Some practise open discrimination against Arab students, some build on illegally seized Palestinian land, and some have supported peripheral institutions in the illegal settlements." and in general, to make a monkey of himself in public.

Of course, the Roses (all of them, as a matter of fact) have never answered the question of the justification of singling out Israel for that special treatment.

Let's try closer to home, dear professor. Why not boycott the scientists of the country that occupies North Ireland for the last 400 or so years and settled this land with what is clearly an alien group there? As a warm up before going for the bear.

Boycott yourself, Mr. Rose. And I am getting as close as I can to the real advice I would like to offer, having in mind some people who might boycott this post otherwise.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

P.S. A great article on the subject by Bradley Burston

Update: it is worth mentioning that, as proof of burgeoning boycotting business, the esteemed professor offered a link to this article. Obviously, being too busy, Mr. Rose did not read the article carefully. Otherwise, he would have stopped to think about this passage:

The boycott proved to be the most divisive episode in the AUT's history. In a rushed debate at the union's conference, members voted to boycott Haifa and Bar Illans Universities for supporting the Israeli state and restricting academic freedom. The facts of the cases were disputed and the AUT became the focus of the global media and was severely criticised. The boycott was overturned at an emergency conference a few weeks later.

To translate the vague text above: the "facts of the case" as presented by the proponents of the boycott appeared to be a collection of libelous tripe, and, being faced by a certainty of a humiliation in the (British) court, the said proponents ate quite a large crow.

And re the divisiveness - only at the union emergency conference the real size of the pro-boycott faction became clear. That, speaking about "pathetic groupuscules", professor Rose...

12 May 2006

Google, Sex and the Arab City

That's the name of the post in Zionation on the subject of most... no, you read it.

I will add a brief analysis of a phenomenon that this post mentions but does not explain: the Iranians are the ones looking the most for the F-word via Google. That is for the word "fuck", if you still cannot catch up.

It so happens that I have a ready explanation for this anomaly. It is not that Iranians are obsessed with you know what. It is just laziness.

Most people use Google out of sheer laziness. And if you want to know what pearl of wisdom your mercurial and, let's say it straight, meshuggene president produced today, you have to go into Google and write "Ahmadinejad".

Since the above collection of letters is quite long and since the name frequently appears in conjunction with that F-word, like in "fuck Ahmadinejad", it is a good bet that looking for the F-word you shall get to the same places with less work.

Does it makes sense? You bet...

11 May 2006

Barghouti drafts peace proposal

That according to JP.

A document composed by former Fatah-Tanzim head Marwan Barghouti from inside the Israeli prison where he is incarcerated, outlining the terms of an agreement to quell the tensions between Fatah and Hamas, was approved by Palestinian Chairman Mahmoud Abbas on Thursday.

Together with heads of other Palestinian organizations inside the jail, Barghouti called on Hamas and Fatah to unify into one Palestinian movement, Israel Radio reported. The imprisoned leaders of the two movements, together with representatives of the Islamic Jihad, PFLP and the DFLP signed the document.

The initiative called for all Palestinian organizations to act towards the achievement of an independent Palestinian state based upon the 1967 borders with Jerusalem as its capital. It was the first time a Hamas leader had unconditionally accepted the 1967 borders in a future Palestinian state.

That's a first minuscule step in the right direction, but still far from being there.

The article carries a picture of Bargouti in jail.

Marwan looks definitely better than on the day of his capture after all these years in hiding. So, all things considered, the time in the nick is doing him some good in more than one sense.

Well, happy for you Marwan, and about that document: take your time for some new revisions, there is no hurry, really!

Cross-posted on Yourish.com