27 November 2009

White Wedding Video

Are you going to enter the holy matrimony, to reach the ideal human state? Have you found the other missing half that will enable both of you to dwell in peace and tranquility? Or is it happening to your beloved daughter or that apple of your eye, your son?

Good and peachy. But on your way to that ceremony you are no doubt faced by many obstacles which, although purely material, can cause you a serious loss of sleep. The clothing, the caterers, the right tables and/or chairs, alcohol drinks (juices for some of you), not to mention the right pastor, imam, rabbi or a municipal big cheese, etc etc. The seating arrangements alone could drive you crazy...

Well, here is one item removed from the big pile of your worries:

These guys are professional, they do their job quietly and non-obtrusively and the result will be a High Definition video you will enjoy watching again and again and showing it to anyone who missed that memorable event.

All religious denominations and secular events covered all over UK.

Service announcement

Service to be resumed mid-December. Keep your noses clean and don't take no wooden nickels meanwhile.

26 November 2009

A fairy tale for the kids of Tehran

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived in a big city called Tehran. Whenever she went out, which was usually to pray, the little girl wore a red praying burqa, so everyone in the city called her Little Red Praying Burqa (LRPB for brevity). So pious was LRPB that not a single toe nor a single hair were visible, and imam-approved red latex gloves covered her hands.

One morning, LRPB asked her mother if she could go to visit her grandmother as it had been awhile since they'd seen each other.

"That's not a good idea," her mother said, "there is a Tehran-wide alert issued by our spiritual father the Grand Ayatollah this morning":

"Families in our neighborhood have been warned that if you go out during the protest...among the enemies of the regime...there might be a chance that Israelis might take you," an elderly man who resides in an impoverished part of Tehran said by telephone last week.
"So, you see, my dearest LRPB, the streets of Tehran are full of big bad Zionist Wolves," said the mother,
"and I can't allow you to put your life in danger. You just wait till the good basijis catch and kill all the wolves and then you shall be free to visit Grandma".

LRPB, however, being of a strong and willful manner, decided to go, mother's words notwithstanding. And - oh mistake of all mistakes - in her hurry to leave the house when her mother was busy in the kitchen, she forgot the holy Qur'an!

To make the long story short, the Zionist Wolf (ZW) learned about LRPB's destination, using the infamous Zionist mind control rays and, a little out of breath from running, arrived at Grandma's and knocked lightly at the door.

"Thanks to Allah you arrived safe, dear! Come in, come in! I was worried sick that something had happened to you on the way," said Grandma thinking that the knock was her granddaughter. ZW let himself in. Poor Granny did not have time to say another word, before ZW gobbled her up!

ZW let out a satisfied burp, and then poked through Granny's wardrobe to find a burqa that he liked. He added a frilly sleeping cap, and for good measure, dabbed some of Granny's perfume behind his pointy ears. A few minutes later, LRPB knocked on the door. ZW jumped into bed and pulled the covers over his nose.

"Who is it?" he called in a cackly voice.

"It's me, Little Red Praying Burqa."

"Oh how lovely! Do come in, my dear," croaked ZW .

When LRPB entered the little cottage, she could scarcely recognize her Grandmother.

"Grandmother! Your voice sounds so odd. Is something the matter?" she asked.

"Oh, I just have touch of a cold," squeaked ZW adding a cough at the end to prove the point.

"But Grandmother! What big ears you have," said LRPB as she edged closer to the bed.

"The better to hear you with, my dear," replied ZW .

"But Grandmother! What big eyes you have," said LRPB .

"The better to see you with, my dear," replied ZW.

"But Grandmother! Where does this big tail come from?" said LRPB.

"Uh... it's not a tail, my dear," replied ZW, blushing mightily.

"But Grandmother! What big teeth you have," said LRPB, her voice quivering slightly.

"The better to eat you with, my dear," roared ZW and he leapt out of the bed, began to chase the little girl and, eventually, gobbled her up too. Not having the holy book of Qur'an with her, LRPB was defenseless.

It was LRPB's good luck that a group of young basijis was strolling nearby, discussing an especially complicated surah from the holy Qur'an. At the sound of commotion they've broken into the Grandma's house, killed the Zionist Wolf, opened his huge stomach and lo and behold! Both LRPB and her Grandma came out of ZW unharmed and in one piece. Er... it should be "in two pieces", but whatever.

Still, the story didn't end well. Stomach juices of the Zionist Wolf dissolved part of the LRPB's burqa, and lo and behold 2:

And thus the willful and stubborn Little Red Praying Burqa brought shame and infamy to her pure and pious family for ever and ever. Her heartbroken father was forced to leave his job in the Ministry of Poetic Justice and these days sells encyclopedias and holy Qur'an door to door in the rural areas to bring some meager sustenance to the family. The fate of the mother is not for you to learn yet, children.

As for the Little Red Praying Burqa: of course she was stoned by the Grand Ayatollah himself and seven of his closest lieutenants. Meaning Ayatollahs.

I hope the lesson to be learned from the tale is clear, dear children: never leave your house without a spare burqa and never even dream about going somewhere without an escort of a basiji or two.


Clocktower lovers utterly astound a German traveler

German traveller Dirk Gensler, who was staying at an adjacent backpacker hostel, was gobsmacked by what he saw when he peered out his window.
"Gobsmacked" means "utterly astounded", it's a Britishism still used by Aussies. And this is what made Mr Gensler's gob smacked:

Their identity is still a mystery but Sydney's clock tower lovebirds have become the toast of Broadway, with passersby capturing their intimate moment on video and mobile phone cameras.
I don't know. What with Sydney apartment rent and apartment purchase prices going through the roof (or through the clock tower, if you will), I am not surprised. At least the couple did it high enough and not on the sidewalk.

What rather surprises me is the shock experienced by the German guy. As far as I know, every town and village in Germany has more clock towers than you can shake a stick at. So what?

25 November 2009

Confession: I am an anti-Semite

This is one of my last posts before a richly deserved vacation (well, in fact, a typical Elders' covert operation in the Big Satan's Homeland Security jurisdiction). So I have decided to come out of the closet at least on one facet of my complex personality: I am an anti-Semite. And this is final.

The final step on the way to self-discovery was made today, when I have read a post at Harry's place on "the lunatic fringe of the National Union of Journalists". It's about another pro-boycott notion re Israel or something in this vein. As usual, the tempers when discussing the subject run high, and one of the commentators with a moniker Stanislaw came up with the following:

This is why it’s hard to do anything but laugh when British journalists are kidnapped or killed.
The result of this... er... colorful observation was that one of the more respected British bloggers, a physicist, a jourmalist a science writer, an editor and a mensch, Francis Sedgemore, posted a perfectly reasonable and intelligent response* to other contributors in general and to Stanislaw in particular. I am copy/pasting the response as a whole here (hope HP folks wouldn't mind):

Why do some people in this place react to a few lunatics mouthing off as if hoards of barbarians were massing outside the gates of the City of the Enlightenment?

The NUJ Left is a small, noisy activist faction within a large and pretty staid trade union. I guess that the rest of us could do with being a little more active to counter the shenanigans of this group, but sometimes, you know, life is just too short to get hot under the collar about the antics of a few gobshites with poor dress sense and personal hygiene problems.

One positive development within the NUJ is a move to lessen the influence of conference-obsessed activists’ by holding fewer conferences. This sounds like a splendid idea to me. I attend my branch meetings to discuss issues of importance to members. By and large that is exactly what we do, and long may it continue.

Even if the NUJ Left manages to bulldoze through an anti-Israel motion at an ADM, this does not mean that the NUJ as a whole is going to boycott Israel. Get real, people.

“This is why it’s hard to do anything but laugh when British journalists are kidnapped or killed.”

Does being a cunt come naturally to you, Stanislaw, or do you have to work at it?

Well, as it frequently happens, the gentle reproach addressed by Francis at Stanislaw, caused an extravagant outpouring of hurt feelings mixed with highbrow analysis of Francis and accusations in all mortal sins, including the positive diagnosis of antisemitism. Not a single one of the commentators (or HP moderators) addressed so far the last point made by Francis, that of Stanislaw being a cunt. I have looked at that quote from Stanislaw several times at several angles, and the result was the same every time: yes, Stanislaw is a cunt.

On the other hand, since several commentators diagnosed Francis as an anti-Semite, I don't have any other option than to confess to the same malady (or is it a feature?). Yes, I am a raving and rabid anti-Semite too, since I share Francis' views as expressed in the above comment in general and on Stanislaw in particular.

So get at me too now.

(*) Aside of Francis addressing them lunatics as "NUJ Left", when "NUJ left" will suffice.

AP the Politically Correct and Comical Hugo

The following headline contains at least two items of interest:

To start with, of course, the new designation of the Jackal: "alleged terrorist". The word "alleged", according to a dictionary, means "Declared but not proved" or "Doubtful or suspect". Which casts a serious shadow on the Wiki's clear cut definition of Carlos: "Ilich Ramírez Sánchez (born October 12, 1949(1949-10-12)) is a convicted Venezuelan terrorist and murderer". Apparently, being convicted in the French court still leaves some doubts in the AP's own justice system. Oh well.

Now we can go to the second item: the new hobby of Comical Hugo - rehabilitation of the world criminals of all kinds. Besides redeeming Carlos, Hugo made inroads in the history books regarding a few other unsavory characters:
In his speech, Chavez also sought to defend other leaders he said are wrongly labeled "bad guys" internationally, including Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe and Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Chavez called both of them brothers and said he now wonders whether Ugandan dictator Idi Amin was truly as brutal as he was reputed to be.
Well, well, what do you know? It certainly looks like Comical Hugo, looking forward to the long uninterrupted years of his solo leadership of Venezuela, has found a new hobby that will color the long monotonous days of being a Caudillo. He will just rewrite history at his spare time.

It is not that the field he has chosen is limited. There is a long list of evil bastards from Cain to Castro (and I am using only one letter of the alphabet), so Hugo's hands will be full...

Hat tip: Monkey in the Middle.

On the quality of apartment building in Stockholm

A couple who kept their whole apartment block awake with their non-stop love-making have won a case to halt their eviction.
I don't understand how this case brought to court the couple instead of the contractor who built the apartment house without appropriate acoustic insulation. You can imagine the quality of the building when the judges ruled that "It cannot be determined which flat was responsible for the noise..."

The other point that this article raises, albeit indirectly, is that some folks in Stockholm can't abide when someone else enjoys life.

And finally to this:
One disgruntled neighbour said:" Their screams of passion were so loud I could hear them three floors away. I don't think they were playing cards."
Surely the disgruntled complainant never played cards, not to speak about his lovemaking techniques. Bleh...

24 November 2009

BNP's Lee Barnes: nowhere to run

The channel 4 Dispatches program, "Inside Britain’s Israel Lobby" was described as "one hour of innuendo about “pro-Israeli” moneybags controlling the Conservative and Labour Parties; “pro-Israeli intimidation of British media; premeditated “pro-Israeli” abuse of antisemitism; and sinister music accompanying photos of “pro-Israelis” blurred across Israeli and British flags". In short, another desperate attempt by the "coalition of the muzzled" to roar about their plight all over the media. You would think that there is a slight contradiction between the term "muzzled" and the continuous and deafening noise the complainers make, but it doesn't seem to bother anyone by now.

There are many people that debunked the pitiful conspiracy theory. There are, of course, many other people who are happily joining the chorus of the "muzzled", decrying the vast and sinister conspiracy. So it's not for me to meddle in this thorny issue, aside of noticing an observation made by one of the debunkers:

It is a sign of how much the old ideas of left and right have changed, and in particular assumptions about the natural home of this sort of discourse, that a BNP official cites a Guardian article approvingly, to prove his view that the Conservatives are “run by the Zionist bankers.”
Besides being an apt remark in general, it is pointing out one of the more notorious BNP (British National Party) neo-Nazis, Lee Barnes. Lee Barnes is described as a "legal advisor" to the BNP gang of worthies. It is Lee Barnes who for years bewails the dangers of the vast Zionist conspiracy and its gentile stooges. In his blog 21st Century British Nationalism (no links here, google, please), he is frequently resorting to statements like:
The fact that the Zionist run political Establishments of the nations of the world, and the political puppets of the media that in reality run our countries...
From where we, the Elders, look at the pathetic rant, it seems funny: of course, we don't run any "Establishments" - we are the "Establishments". But Lee Barnes only recently became aware of the fact, pointing fingers to the Conservative Friends of Israel squeezing him from the right and Labour Friends of Israel bashing him from the left. Little does he know if he considers these fronts being the real danger...

But the real coup de grâce was delivered by no one but Barnes' bosom buddy and leader, the notorious Nick Griffin, it appears. In a sudden turn-about, the vile racist that he is, Mr Griffin declared his support for Israel. Not that we need or, indeed, desire any support from that neo-Nazi gang, but this maneuver left Barnes surrounded with no wagons to circle.

So, the island of Albion eventually became an inhospitable place for the likes of Lee Barnes. And the only option I see for him is to take a U-boat to Argentine. At least on the way there he will be safe...

Oh, and Mr Barnes: don't forget to take with you a few of your buddies from the Guardian. Bon voyage.

What to do about anime

Ask the proletariat:
More works by the graphic designer Vladimir Kazak.

23 November 2009

The Large Hadron Collider is back

Particle beams are once again circulating in the world’s most powerful particle accelerator, CERN’s Large Hadron Collider (LHC). This news comes after the machine was handed over for operation on Wednesday morning.
Do you see these black spots all over the ceiling or it's my eyes?

Haveil Havalim #244: No Protektzia Necessary

The last and freshest Haveil Havalim out there by A Mother in Israel. This HH is unprotected. I mean without protektzia (another Russian/English linguistic monster). Anyway, it's a grand job, so enjoy!

Joke of the week

22 November 2009

Mr Disraeli, Mr Oborne, Mr Gladstone and Mr Lerman

Professor Geoffrey Alderman steamrolling the insidious Antony Lerman.

20 November 2009

Too many dupes

When Vladimir Iliych Lenin said "The Capitalists will sell us the rope with which we will hang them", he may have related only to greed that is undeniably a strong motivator of Western behavior. However, it is not the only one, and Lenin's successors successfully exploited other traits of the Western public. Chief of which was the insatiable hunger for peace displayed by a large segment of the Western population. This sentiment was played upon to perfection by the attentive and well-tuned Soviet propaganda and intelligence outfits, it was nurtured, encouraged and in many cases financed by the Soviets to become a real pain in the arse of Western world. I shall never forget my disbelief at the sight of the anti-war crowds in the West spewing hate and scorn at their own military while hailing and lauding Soviet "peace warriors".

There is no big bad Soviet Union today, but useful idiots are not attuned to the socialism alone. Any two-bit tyrant that produces the right kind of noise, be it the ubiquitous Hugo Chavez or one of his buddies like Baby Assad, Kim Jong Il or Mahmoud (the Mad) Ahmadinejad, is automatically absolved of any sin and relegated to the pantheon of sainthood. As long as the noise produced is sufficiently anti-Western, anti-Israeli and anti-imperialist (whatever it means), everything goes.

I have already mentioned the excellent example of David Lindsay, a British stopper and "an economically social democratic, morally and socially conservative British and Commonwealth patriot". In other words, a perfect specimen of a mixed-up puppy (and an anti-Zionist one to boot). Being socially conservative, he didn't feel absolutely secure when copy/pasting a whole Morning Star (he he) article: "The Morning Star is not always right, but it certainly is this time." The Morning Star article is titled Iran's fake nuke threat, while David's post is headlined a bit differently: The Fake Nuclear Threat From Iran (a bit of poetic license here).

The article follows the blueprint of any pro-Iranian and anti-Western piece, starting with: "If you've been taking the US and Britain's recent pronouncements on Iran seriously, you're probably just about ready to stock up on canned food and start digging a fallout shelter in your back garden" and ending with the mandatory: "If so, he [Obama] should drop the threats against Iran and rein in that one country - Israel, the Middle East's real rogue state". The spirit of the rest of that obvious propaganda piece is best conveyed by the following:

It's not enough to say there's no solid evidence of Iran's nuclear ambitions and no proof that the Qom facility is designed for making weapons. Technically true, certainly, but not enough by a long way.
If you can figure this one out, let me know, please. But enough about the communist Morning Star. The post doesn't end at the last sentence quoted above. Mr Lindsay felt it necessary to add a coda of his own (well, I think so, not having any evidence to the contrary):
Israel has the only outstanding threat of nuclear action by any country against any other. But any such attempted strike - against Iran, which has not started a war in modern times - would be shot down by Obama’s boys in Iraq. There is no other reason why they are still there. And America owes Israel one from way back where "friendly fire" is concerned.
The first sentence could have been written in Swahili: the author was obviously agitated by his feelings about the Zionists and thus not quite coherent, but one can get the general drift.

The second and the third sentences give you a completely original and fresh revelation of US motives for staying in Iraq.

And the last one, where America "owes" Israel is linked (in original) to the Liberty ship story, the perennial and beloved tool of all anti-Zionists.

Oh well, I hope you are persuaded by the eloquence and the originality of the author by now. What remains to me is to add an element of surprise from an article published the same day Mr Lindsay's Morning Star article has seen the light.
International Atomic Energy Agency inspectors discovered 30 metric tons of unreported heavy water during an audit last month of Iran's Isfahan uranium conversion facility...

The Qum facility could provide sufficient material per year for one to two nuclear weapons, but not enough for continuous operations of a nuclear power plant, according to Western diplomats and other observers.

"It won't (even) be able to produce a reactor's worth of fuel every 90 years, but it will be able to produce one bomb a year. It does look strange," said Ivan Oelrich, acting president of the Federation of American Scientists.
I guess an intrepid stopper like our David wouldn't be daunted by such a small bump on the road to the world peace. We'll soon hear from him (or from Morning Star, whoever comes first) a perfectly sane explanation of that point. I am sure.

So, I am adding this picture to my small but growing "Smile, ijit" collection. Although, to tell you the truth, that tie causes me... oh well, no need to get personal, is there?

Hat tip: Andrew Ian Dodge.

19 November 2009

Brooke Magnanti aka Belle du Jour is Jewish

Should I be happy and proud of this fact? Hmm...

On the other hand, maybe there is something in it?

Israeli cannibals and other links

Sloth got the upper hand today. And why bother anyway, when there are myriads of superb bloggers out there? So, to start with:

I am not sure one needs directions with this picture. Anyhow, remember that prick Donald Bostrom's article? This is one of the results - intended or not is a moot point by now.

I always thought that children should be taken away at birth and grown somewhere secluded with good locks. Or else born aged 21 with a university diploma. Scribbles has another idea. It may work, provided the kids are tethered to the machines securely.

62% of Europeans believe Jews enrich their culture. Strange that, and I thought we've enriched something else in Europe.

Two people of opposite gender have erotic dreams about president Obama. One of the two (the male) includes the second one (the female) in that erotic package, though. Which means what? Are male dreamers more generous or what? (Sorry Shlemazl, you asked for this).

Guess who is building a wall now? Ironic - but do our neighbors dig irony? Nah...

Pelican vs Bugatti

A US driver blamed a low-flying pelican after he drove his £1m Bugatti supercar into a salt marsh.Police in Texas said the motorist was at the wheel of his Bugatti Veyron when a pelican swooped across the road and distracted him.
Well, so what? Pelican is quite a big bird and could be distracting indeed. It could happen to the best of us, and in this case no one but Bugatti was injured. But then there is a small detail not stressed in the article:
He dropped his phone and lost control of the car, which then veered off the road into a salt marsh.
Uhu... he dropped his phone. Probably was telling his buddies how he is coming home with a big £1m surprise for the spouse. The picture is clear, and I have one or two remarks for the gentleman.
  1. Do not drive and talk on your cell phone.
  2. £1m could buy you about 50 regular cars to drive in a marsh and savor the experience.
  3. Pelican is just a bird, for crying out loud.
  4. When behind the wheel, always expect the unexpected.
  5. Do not drive and talk, you moron!
Nah... it wouldn't work, would it?

18 November 2009

Arab experts predict Mideast water wars

This UPI article could have been a subject for some fisking if it were less pathetic.

A Jordanian academic has predicted that Israel will go to war with neighboring Lebanon and Egypt to get their water.

The Jordanian, political science professor Ghazi al-Rababah, was quoted by the Amman newspaper Al-Arab Al-Yawm as saying Israel would first go to war with Lebanon over the Litani River just north of the border with the Jewish state.
And how do we know that this prophecy is a true one? Two items of proof: first, a quote from Ben Gurion:
David Ben-Gurion, Israel's first prime minister, advocated years before the state of Israel was proclaimed in 1948, that the Jewish state should incorporate the Litani.
The strange and wondrous thing about the Old Man is that, while not being particularly politically active lately, he continues to produce a steady stream of quotes for anti-Israeli "experts" of all kinds. Now to the second item:

This item, probably in the eyes of UPI journo, illustrates the parched soldiers of an IDF unit on the way to the refreshing cold streams of the Litani river.

Ehehe... slow day for UPI, be my guess.

Cat vs cop: no contest

No one likes traffic cops much, but this cat is an exception. Texan cat, too. Enjoy.

Hippo eats croc

Talk about foolhardiness of the youngsters. A young crocodile decided to snack on a baby hippo, but was met by a CPC (Concerned Parents Committee). The result:

The intrepid croc became a snack himself. I am afraid he will not benefit from this lesson...

17 November 2009

Unfriend me?

The New Oxford American Dictionary has named "unfriend" - which means deleting a 'friend' on a social networking site such as Facebook - as its 2009 Word of the Year.
There were times when unfriending was done manually. Now it's all electronics.

I'll unfriend you
You'll unfriend me
We'll be one unhappy unfamily

Oh boy... and don't tweet me too, please!

Brooke Magnanti aka Belle De Jour: so much more enjoyable

Realising she had no objection to having sex for money, she contacted an agency and worked as a prostitute from 2003 to late 2004 which she said was "so much more enjoyable" than her shifts in another job as a computer programmer.
I had some experience with the latter, none with the former. When a fellow blogger tells it from her own experience, I have to believe her. Pity the knowledge comes so late in my life.

In Support of Chilul Shabbat

Not being religious, I can only quote when it seems worth quoting.

So: hear, hear!

16 November 2009

Edward Woodward RIP

Many will remember him as Equalizer, but for me he will remain Callan.


Biometric bill: pros and cons

The Knesset is due on Monday to vote on a highly controversial piece of legislation popularly known as the biometric law, which some claim will make Israel a safer place to live while others warn will threaten the privacy of every resident in the country.
A rare case when I can wholeheartedly agree with both sides, esp. when these sides are our esteemed MKs.

Bill Clinton to Israel: Give Obama a chance

I am sure this is a typo. We are used to hearing and reading "change" - now it is "chance"?

Spreading radical Islam in Britain

"This picture shows how we'll convert the Buckingham Palace into a mosque", says one of the guys that hold the placard.

More, much more in this CNN report. Not very user friendly, takes time to load but worth your while.

And no, I am not especially worried about the mad imam Choudari taking over the Buckingham Palace tomorrow. Besides, why should I, I am not a subject of Her Majesty...

15 November 2009

General Ali Reza Asgari held in Israel?

An Iranian website reported that Iranian General Ali Reza Asgari who defected to the West is in prison in Israel. According to the report, an investigation by Iranian security forces showed that "Asgari was kidnapped by the Mossad in cooperation with the British and German intelligence services, and was ultimately transferred to Israel."
Probably kept in the cell with Jimmy Hoffa.

On the other hand, what the heck do we need another general for when we have a glut of our own? Strange, that...

BDS campaign is bad news for Palestinians

In an extraordinary series of blog postings, British trade unionists visiting Israel and Palestine have learned that Palestinian workers and their unions are not enthusiastic supporters of the campaign for boycotts, divestments and sanctions (BDS) targetting Israel.
Who would have thought so? Certainly not the shrill anti-Zionist crowd led by the likes of Naomi Klein. Do-gooders in designer garb gallivanting around the globe rarely, if at all, "descend" to the level of workers who care about being able to make their living.

You can read more about the findings of the TUFI (TUFI was established to promote Israeli-Palestinian trade union co-operation and strengthen the links between the Israeli, Palestinian and British trade union movements) delegation to Israel and Palestine here.

TUFI is supported by TULIP: Trade union leaders from three continents have announced the launch of a new global movement "to challenge the apologists for Hamas and Hizbollah in the labour movement" and to fight for a two-state solution to the conflict between Israelis and Palestinians. The movement is called TULIP - Trade Unions Linking Israel and Palestine.

Yuri Foreman: our kosher WBA champion

Yuri Foreman, an aspiring rabbi who mixes religious studies with work in the gym, outpointed Daniel Santos over 12 rounds Saturday night to win a piece of the 154-pound title.
Goes to prove that... er... what does it go to prove?

Whatever, congratulations to Yuri.

14 November 2009

Confusion in the house of Rusbridgers

A good story for your weekend.

Surface of the Red Planet

This is one of the images from NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter satellite:

Intersecting swirling trails left by the earlier passage of dust devils across sand dunes:
Carrying the most powerful telescopic camera ever flown to another planet, the satellite was launched in August 2005. Older observer satellites flown on previous missions to space were able to identify space objects no smaller than a London bus. But the state-of-the-art camera on-board Orbiter can spot something the size of a dinner table
More fabulous images here.

13 November 2009

Major Nidal Malik Hasan's Mossad connection

Time published this picture from the murderer's house as if it's an insignificant "by the way" item. But here it is for all to see:

The sinister treasure, to the tune of almost 16 shekels. And who knows how much more money there is in his secret hoard?

The hidden tentacle comes to light...

Roger Cohen: about hinges and lack thereof

I have no doubt that all of you followed with bated breath the Iranian odyssey of the NYT grand vizier Roger Cohen. Well, if you didn't, here is a reminder. So enamored was our jolly Roger with the regime, that I was quite sure that he became a full time fellow traveler of Ayatollahs. Then, after the democratic elections in this "vibrant democracy" (according to Roger) and the following violence, Roger came up with a rare show of mea culpa, bewailing his own blindness.

One would assume that enough is enough and that Mr Cohen will do his best not to mention this professional fiasco. Even after the ominous sentence he dropped in one of the after-election pieces:

I’ve argued for engagement with Iran and I still believe in it, although, in the name of the millions defrauded, President Obama’s outreach must now await a decent interval.
(We have already seen the attempt to outreach - quite according to Cohen's wishes - and the results of this attempt. But this is not about the current administration. It is about Mr Cohen.)

So imagine my surprise upon seeing the article The Hinge of History where not so jolly Roger takes another approach to Iran:
What if the vast protesting crowd of perhaps three million people had turned from Azadi (Freedom) Square toward the presidential complex? What if Mir Hussein Moussavi, the opposition leader, had stood before the throng and said, “Here I stand with you and here I will fall?” What, in short, if Azadi had been Prague’s Wenceslas Square of 20 years ago and Moussavi had been Vaclav Havel?
This absolutely pathetic piece, which has nothing to do with what professional journalism is about, is just an exercise in mental and moral masturbation. It made me suspect that Mr Cohen nurtures an intent to leave the field of journalism, where the possibilities of rich pickings are somewhat diminished for him, exchanging it for the "what if?" quasi-SF domain. But better people have already cornered this market, so it could hardly be. I don't have an explanation for this miserable excuse for an op-ed column, unless it's a cry of a tortured soul (bleh...).

What I do have, though, is a question: what if Roger Cohen and many of his oh so progressive and liberal colleagues, instead of doing their considerable best to poison the Western minds by their warm and fuzzy about the nice Iranian regime during the years that led up to the current tragedy, tried telling (for a change) not what they desire to see, but the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

But then, Roger Cohen is just another link in the long chain of the fellow travelers (or useful idiots, take your pick), one of whom produced that masterpiece in 1924 for NYT:


P.S. I have already posted that snapshot of NYT article before. It bears repeating.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

Great Moments in "Psychologically Disturbed" Gunmen Committing Mass Murder

When John Wilkes Booth opened fire on President Abraham Lincoln in Ford’s Theatre in April 1865, the media was puzzled. “True, the actor was outspoken in his Confederate sympathies and viewed himself as a Southerner,” said someone who knew him, “but that was no reason he might want Lincoln to be dead.” The day before he went on his shooting spree, Booth hoisted a big Confederate flag outside his hotel room. After he leaped onto the stage he shouted, "Thus ever to tyrants!" the motto of the rebel state of Virginia.

The New York Times reported that Booth was psychologically unstable and was frightened of the Civil War coming to an end and having to face a peacetime actors’ surplus. “His political views had nothing to do with the motives for this tragic act,” it said, quoting experts.
A must read by prof. Barry Rubin.

12 November 2009

That's a lot of shakti, dear Karima Begam!

Shakti (Devanagari: शक्ति) from Sanskrit shak - "to be able," meaning sacred force or empowerment, is the primordial cosmic energy and represents the dynamic forces that move through the entire universe.[1] Shakti is the concept, or personification, of divine feminine creative power, sometimes referred to as 'The Great Divine Mother' in Hinduism.
One cannot be but proud, happy and astonished by the giant steps made in XX century by the feminist movement and the achievements of women lib in significant part of the world. Of course, there still are a lot of countries where women are oppressed and a lot to do in some other places, but the progress is undeniable.

Saying this, I cannot be but cowed, speechless and overwhelmed by a case of a feminism gone a bit wild:
Local government offices in a southern district of Nepal have shut down in protest after a visiting minister beat up the most senior local official. The minister, Karima Begam (Begum), slapped the man five times* - for not sending a new car to pick her up from the airport. When chief district officer Durga Prasad Bhandari protested, she struck him again, breaking his glasses.
Here is the victim - Mr Bhandari, glassless after the incident:

Of course, I did my best to look up Karima Begam: I still nurture a dream about traveling to Nepal, and it's prudent for a tourist to know what to avoid in a foreign place. So here we are (click to enlarge):

Let's take it step by step now:
This male dominated society has to come to an end and men should revere a woman for her Shakti (power) and wisdom, and understand that denying her a rightful place in the society will be a big loss to Nepal.
I think that one slap on the face is quite enough Shakti spent per male. Six slaps is a bit beyond the call of duty, I would suggest.
I am going to raise my voice not just for Muslim women or Madhesi women but for all the backward, deprived communities.
No one will dare to object now, I am sure.
The biggest challenge will be to prove our worth and competence in the development and structuring of a new state.
The shiners Mr Bhandari is sporting are proof positive. Nepalese feminists can rest their case.
It is high time to stop paying lip service to these issues and take some concrete and conclusive actions.
This was said about a year ago. By now there is no more need for concrete or more conclusive actions. I believe that the male inhabitants of Nepal will grok now what Shakti stands for and start behaving accordingly.

Or else.

(*) There is a minor controversy in the media re the number of times Mr Bhandari was slapped. Some indicate that it was only four times (not counting the glasses-breaker, I guess)

Update: I don't know whether it's this post that caused so much anguish, but here it is, from Telegraph Nepal:
The former Shangri-La, Nepal, that was taken around the entire globe now has become a country for fun associated with chaos and uncertainty. The fun, doesn’t entertain instead humiliates. The fun terrifies. Is this then a fun? This is really unfortunate.
Sorry, folks, nothing to do with it. It's only business fun.

United Airlines pilot or Metropolitan Police spokesman?

From Telegraph:

A trans-Atlantic pilot was arrested at Heathrow airport after he failed a breath test as he attempted to board a United Airlines plane carrying 135 people.
The pilot is not quoted in the article. The Metropolitan Police, on the other hand, is:
He was arrested on suspicion of being aviation staff while exceeding the proscribed alcohol limit and about to take the plane.
Pot, kettle...

Food for thought

It is my suspicion that most Americans think of the dance of political correctness and diversity training as a harmless game for the elites to satisfy their own sense of self-righteousness with. The massacre of Fort Hood is a reminder that it can be deadly serious.
I am not sure that I absolutely agree with this post, but it's a worthy reading nevertheless.

Charla Nash injuries pictures after chimp attack

Are really for ghouls. Take this instead:

And cool down.

11 November 2009

The November 11 battle that saved Canada

From measuring distance in miles and weight in pounds. Still, they somehow escaped a fate worth than death: driving on the wrong side of the road.

On a serious note: Terry Glavin with a tribute to Canadians who died fighting Taliban.

Apologies to Yitzchak

Yitzchak Goodman aka Judeopundit, one of my favorite bloggers, in his post Mind changed expressed his desire to figure out some shady aspects of the Fort Hood massacre, namely the lack of vigilance displayed by some US agencies prior to the tragedy.

I have posted a somewhat flippant comment:

Uhu... I can already see where it goes. In a few weeks some blogger or other will tell us that it was a Zionist provocation.
A minute or two after doing so, I had me a very short brainstorm that resulted in the Google search "nidal malik hasan zionist".

You can do it yourself, but here are two sample results (out of many):

Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan–The “Inglourious Basterd” Of Fort Hood?

Everything About Nidal Malik Hasan Screams “Patsy”

(Of course, I am not linking to these, but you can easily find the stuff by googling).

Oh well, it is definitely not my day. Headache, the weather is playing up, stupidity...

So please, Yitzchak, remove that comment. Thanks.

Mikhail Timofeyevich Kalashnikov: not the father of a Russian lawnmower

Mikhail Timofeyevich Kalashnikov, arguably the most famous Russian in history, even if by proxy - the AK-47 assault rifle, was recently celebrating his 90th jubilee.

The man is quite sprightly at his advanced age, and I really don't have anything against him. It is the use that his famous invention (well, with some assistance from Hugo Schmeisser, as they say) was put to is bothering the heck out of me.

Mikhail Timofeyevich, it should be said, is painfully aware of that aspect of his invention:

I would prefer to have invented a machine that people could use and that would help farmers with their work - for example a lawnmower.
In the next reincarnation, probably, Mikhail Timofeyevich. Meanwhile, take care...

Does Steve Bell read Stormfront?

Asks Hawkeye of CiF Watch. Not being an avid watcher of Steve Bell, a cartoonist of very little ability and less than little sense of humor, I am not sure I know the answer to this question.

On the other hand: why should Steve Bell read Stormfront when he has Guardian available on his desk?

Why won't my parakeet eat my diarrhea?

That's why.

Besides, I guess, parakeets prefer their own diet.

Carrie Prejean sextape or nipple

As usual, are not featured here. A soothing picture, on the other hand, is offered freely:

Look at the eyes without blinking for 3 minutes... relax...

10 November 2009

Israel: Leader of Business Innovation

Dan Senor, co-author of 'Start-up Nation: The Story of Israel's Economic Miracle,' discusses with CNBC how Israel has managed to become a leader in business innovation.

Faster, Higher, Stronger

I shall never see the Olympic Games as I did before reading this, I am afraid.

09 November 2009

Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan: a strip club customer?

Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan came into the Starz strip club not far from the base at least three times in the past month, the club's general manager, Matthew Jones, told FoxNews.com.
Whether it's a ploy by the strip club owner to get some free PR or the truth and nothing but the truth, I am not betting. But the plot thickens as one reads the article:
Jennifer Jenner, who works at Starz using the stage name Paige, said Hasan bought a lap dance from her two nights in a row.
I wouldn't dare to disagree with an expert, would I? Still, there is one point Ms Jenner made I am not sharing. She says:
I think he mostly came here to kill some time and just relax.
I say: he went there to get some first-hand knowledge about handling of the virgins.

Notice also the weird (or not?) similarity to the behavior of the 911 perpetrators.

Iranian cleric shuns Mecca

Who would expect such a turn of events:

An Iranian cleric called over the weekend for a radical change in Muslim prayer practices, urging followers to no longer pray in the direction of the holy city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia. The cleric, Ahmed Alam al-Hadi, told worshipers that Muslim states such as Saudi Arabia and Iraq have been taken over by infidels, urging them to turn instead to the holy city of Mashhad, located in Iran.
Of course, any single Muslim country trying to pull a trick like this will be blamed in pursuit of glory, happiness and, let's say it loud, financial benefits.

So, in order to prevent a rift in Islamic world, I would offer a following compromise:

It should work for everyone, once the Islamic world gets used to the idea. Besides, many notables in that place share quite a few of the ideas with inhabitants of Mecca and/or Mashhad. Especially the ones who, after achieving a state of financial bliss, have grown a new conscience.

Yep, it should work.

CiF or Stormfront?

A fabulous quiz you all have to take.

08 November 2009

Courage of the muzzled

It's fashionable in the West to incessantly complain about the powers that be that, according to the complainant, are "muzzling" him or her. Usually the hidden meaning of the complaint is that Oprah is slow to come up with an invitation or NYT (Telegraph, The Onion, you name it) are not forthcoming with an interview and an attached bio.

All crybabies in this category could learn the real meaning of being muzzled from Yoani.

Yoani Sánchez is a Graduate in Philology. Lives in Havana and combines her passion for information science with her work on the Portal Desde Cuba. Yoani also has what it takes to fight the regime and to take her fight to the streets of Havana and to the Internet.

In her post A gangland style kidnapping Yoani tells about her latest experience with the enforcers of the ailing regime. I hope that the "muzzled" could learn something from this.

And I believe and hope that the day for this prophesy to come true is close:

I managed to see, however, the degree of fright of our assailants, the fear of the new, of what they cannot destroy because they don’t understand, the blustering terror of he who knows that his days are numbered.
And the sooner the better.

About the new anti-headache medicine

Darren Young, 45, is allergic to a component regularly used in common creams and body lotions, reports The Sun.
Of course, it makes him allergic to his wife when she puts on the war colors.
Mr Young, a bus driver from Sprotbrough, says he cannot get close to his wife Sue unless she is free of all creams. He said: "When it comes to bedtime Sue doesn't need a headache as an excuse. She just says she has been using body lotion and it might kill me.
Stuff of some people's dreams, I bet.

07 November 2009

Large Hadron Collider sabotaged by French fancy food

At least according to the official version:

The bird dropped some bread on a section of outdoor machinery, eventually leading to significant over heating in parts of the accelerator. The LHC was not operational at the time of the incident, but the spike produced so much heat that had the beam been on, automatic failsafes would have shut down the machine.
Knowing the inherent tendency of any PR officer to whitewash the truth, even when it's totally unnecessary, I doubt some of the details:

The picture above is billed as "Re-enacted according to eyewitness accounts." The relative location of the bird and the item it released seems to be true. However, the nature of the item... oh well.

Anyroad, there is no cause for glee and/or celebrations, folks:
This incident won't delay the reactivation of the facility later this month...
So don't stop your activities related to the coming end of the world, please. We are on schedule.

Lebanese authorities: probe this...

One of the most mind-boggling statements I've ever seen, this time by Lebanese officialdom:

"The FRANCOP ship entered Lebanese territorial waters at noon today and, upon its arrival off Beirut port, the navy in cooperation with UN naval forces searched the vessel," an army statement said.
Probably searching for the wrappings of the ammo (that never was there to start with, according to same people who are now doing the "search"). And then a topper:
Military intelligence began interrogating the crew on the motives for the seizure of the vessel while the concerned authorities... will take all the necessary measures to ensure it does not carry banned goods.
Banned goods? What banned goods?

Rihanna's Forehead - watch it, dudes

Now that one is really funny and has a cooling effect of its own. Enjoy.

06 November 2009

Nidal Hasan and sacrifice vs suicide bombing

The NYT Lede Blog discovers something that is tentatively attributed to the Fort Hood murderer, psychiatrist turned killer:

There was a grenade thrown amongs a group of American soldiers. One of the soldiers, feeling that it was to late for everyone to flee jumped on the grave with the intention of saving his comrades. Indeed he saved them.
Scholars have paralled this to suicide bombers whose intention, by sacrificing their lives, is to help save Muslims by killing enemy soldiers.
Whether the quote above belongs to the murderer or not, suffice to read this poisonous "essay" and to see how a twisted mind (be it the major who swallows the bait or the "scholar" who creates it) equals an act of self-sacrifice that saves human lives to an act of self-sacrifice that destroys human lives. No need for further analysis.

International law as reported in the media

It is a sign of the times, probably, that the term "international law" is brandished like and all-purpose club by some people. Frequently their limited understanding of the law doesn't interfere with the freedom of use of catchy slogans. Some of these people are journalists, needless to say, and unfortunately their references to "international law" frequently mirror their political beliefs instead of anything having to do with law.

The highly contentious issue of injudicious use of international law was taken up in a roundtable discussion organized by Just Journalism.

The summary of the discussion is contained in a relatively short document. In a remarkably muted tones, the discussion board came to the following conclusions:

  • The politicisation of international law by parties to conflicts and their supporters is inadequately addressed by journalists. Allegations of disproportionality against Israel or genocide against Sri Lanka and other states can be politically motivated and inaccurate.
  • Many principles of international law are heavily contested but are often not presented to news audiences as such. News audiences need to be informed about the various interpretations of these terms in order to be aware of differing claims.
  • The liberal view of international law as a protector against human rights violations prevails in the public consciousness and is perpetuated in the media. In fact, international law often legitimises conflict as well as limiting it.
  • Most journalists reporting accusations of breaches of international law are themselves not lawyers, making it difficult to adjudicate between competing legal claims or to appropriately position them.
  • Journalists must strike a balance between providing detail on the complex legal concepts they refer to, and ensuring their reports remain accessible to their audiences. There is a lack of consensus on the right way to strike this balance at present and this needs further discussion.
The above summary is quoted here for the impatient. Still, it will be worth your time to read the document.

Nidal Malik Hasan: muslims should rise up against the aggressors

It is early days, and the investigation into the murderer's motives has barely started. Meanwhile it looks pretty grim.

More from Dick Stanley.

05 November 2009

The Francop affair aftermath

The considerable quantity of weaponry fished recently by our navy in Mediterranean is resting on dry land in the port of Ashdod, but the waves made by it are still churning. Our media is milking the story for what it is worth and then some. So does our foreign office, including a compulsory travel to the Ashdod exposition by the accredited diplomats. Cocktail hour amid hand grenades and rockets... It's quite impossible these days to switch on an electric appliance here without getting some Francop-related news. Relax, folks, we miss many more shipments than we catch, I bet. Anyway, I love our Shayetet (naval commando) boys as much as the next geezer, but let's be a bit less provincial, shall we?

But this is all in a day's work, so move on, there are better things to watch. Which is, to start with, the hilarious responses from our neighbors and cousins.

Still, it is not the Arab press that takes the cake in this case. The honors go to the UN-believable dorks:

Two days before Israel's capture of a ship that was apparently ferrying arms to Hezbollah, UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon released a report to the UN Security Council in which he said the United Nations took the Israeli allegations about weapons smuggling to Hezbollah seriously, but lacked the ability to independently verify the information.
And how do we know this (pay attention, please):
In the report, Ban wrote that the Lebanese government had not informed the UN of a single incident of weapons smuggling to its territory, whether by land, sea or air.
Lebanese government hadn't informed... I will be... how is it for a... what the...

To relax - here goes a related blooper courtesy of Ynet:

Our defense minister is getting so large lately that he already deserves a zip code of his own, not to mention perimeter patrols. Well, the Ynet folks meant "tours", of course....

My power nap time is nigh anyhow.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

Anal Jihad: in-depth analysis

At the time of the infamous assbomber incident I have posted a relatively short notice on the subject.

It so happens that Allen of The Whited Sepulchre performed a really detailed, no nonsense, in-depth and hilarious analysis of the occasion in:

From The Jihadist Safety Consultant, on appropriate methods of martyrdom


Sun Meng: next time be better prepared!

A naked man who climbed out of a window and hid on the ledge to escape his lover's furious husband has been caught on camera.
Dear Sun,

In the spirit of fellowship, we, the men of Acme Climbing Equipment Inc, have passed a hat around and are sending you a backpack with the best climbing accessories the market has to offer (of course, ACE Inc is the source of the best).

Having your best interests in mind and to prevent frostbites, we have also added a pair of specialized woolen underwear (by ACE):

We implore you to carry the said backpack with you at all times, especially to bed.

With brotherly greetings


04 November 2009

A lucky fishing trip

Special navy forces discovered weapons and ammunition on a cargo ship overnight Tuesday, after boarding a cargo ship some 100 nautical miles west of Israel flying an Antiguan flag.

The elite Navy Commando unit Shayetet 13 soldiers, who didn't encounter resistance on board, found the weapons and ammunition cache hidden behind what appeared to be a civilian cargo.
And they say that Mediterranean fishing is not what it used to be...

Another severe case of Holocaust envy

It is not a secret that from time to time humanity is facing outbreaks of that curious disease. Such as "Palestinian Nakba" or PETA's "Chicken Holocaust".

Of course, there is a strong element of weirdness in these outbreaks. But still, nothing invented so far prepared me to the level of bizarreness reached in the recent outbreak:

David Wilshire, the disgraced Conservative MP, has compared the treatment of politicians over their expense claims to the plight of Jews in Nazi Germany.

Mr Wilshire, who was forced to resign after paying more than £100,000 in expenses to his own company, said the “witch hunt” against MPs “will undermine democracy”.

Mr Wilshire wrote: “The witch hunt against MPs in general will undermine democracy. It will weaken parliament - handing yet more power to governments. Branding a whole group of people as undesirables led to Hitler's gas chambers.”
I can easily imagine the scene: malnourished skeletal MPs stumbling and crawling toward gas chambers between the whips and machine guns brandished by black-coated goons of Her Majesty's government, while Hi-Fi loudspeakers permeate the air by cabaret-style renderings of "God save the Queen", Handel and Sting.

And do you know what? I don't feel a thing...

Hat tip: Andrew Ian Dodge.

Where are you, Guinness?

For many years the media informs us about various stupid burglars. Many entertaining cases go by, without (as far as I know) being noticed by Guinness. Well, recently a case of two incredibly stupid wannabe burglars surfaced.

Two burglary suspects who drew 'masks' on their faces with a permanent marker pen have been arrested in the US.
A revealing detail:
Both suspects were charged with attempted second-degree burglary and have been released on bail.
Apparently law enforcement people considered the two being more of a Social Security case than a police matter...

Anyhow, when I read this I became convinced that as far as the future Guinness record for the most stupid burglar is concerned, these two have it made. They not only took the cake but ate it as well.

At least so I thought at the moment. Before someone sent me a link to this:

Yep... this competition is not over until it's over.

03 November 2009

A lesbian news item

It appears to be an old one, but somehow I've missed it:

Via Buzzfeed.

Huffing and Puffing over Arnie

First to preempt some overexcited commentators:

  1. Am I a republican? Nah. Am I a democrat? Nah. Just an amused observer.
  2. What do I think about use of four-letter words (English, of course, other languages use words of different lengths)? I strongly support such use where applicable*.
Now we can talk about the main subject: Huffington Post (who else?) got their knickers twisted because of a relatively benign use of a four letter word (starts with "f", ends with "k", its second letter being "u" and the third "c"). Here is a snapshot of that letter:

It's a simple ploy, actually: Arnie or his ghostwriter used acrostic** to convey a "fuck you" message to a Democrat who earlier heckled him ("you lie", "kiss my ass", etc) during the Governator's presentation to a Democratic convention.

So, what do I think about it? Both politicos behaved in a somewhat childish way, but I wonder whether locking the two up together to continue the debate in the same vein couldn't have resolved the whole brouhaha in a satisfactory way. Besides, it was entertaining. So kudos to Arnie.

(*) I have to quote here my beloved Jaroslav Hašek, from his eternal The Good Soldier Švejk:
People who cringe at strong expressions are just cowards who shy real life, such weaklings cause most harm to the culture and public morality. They would turn the people into the sentimental fellows, onanists of pseudo-culture of St. Aloisius type. Eustace the Monk in his book says that when St. Aloisius heard one person breaking wind, he burst into tears and was calmed only by a prayer.
Adding in the same regard:
Several years ago I read a review of a story. The critic was beside himself over the fact that the author wrote: "He blew and wiped his nose." This, according to him, runs counter to the aesthetic and the sublime that literature should bring to the people.

This is only one and not the most vivid example of the kind of morons that are born under the sun.
Yes, and speaking about the morons:

(**) It's curious that an outfit as powerful as HuffPost couldn't get to the term "acrostic". Hmm...