24 May 2006

FAQ - new installment

I bet you perverts are already clamoring for a new episode in the FAQ series. Since, most probably, you do not even remember in your alcoholic and/or drug-induced stupor what it is all about: this is some selective fishing I am doing from the muddy sea of search strings arriving daily to SimplyJews. The truth is that some of the strings couldn't be even posted here without a frightful outcry from the whole spectrum of maddies - from the tree-huggers to the Jewwatch.

So it is only a carefully chosen subset. Enjoy.

Q: Nude jews?

A: TANSTAAFL (There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch). You want - you pay.

Q: JFK + Mossad?

A: As usual.

Q: When do you sing Hatikva?

A: Minimum three times a day, always in the public places, so the supervisor could mark it in your Hatikva quota card. Beyond that - as you wish, with one exception: restrooms.

Q: What does it mean Iran nuclear success?

A: Could mean a lot of glassified ground in the Middle East. Cockroaches only area.

Q: Start of jews?

A: I am easy to start. Just take a lot of air and shout some gubberish behind my back.

Q: Gib a kook?

A: OK. Where?

Q: Nature borgeous cosmetic?

A: So you too are getting sick of all that Dead Sea shit they sell on every corner?

Q: Meryl Strip nuclear?

A: No, please, let's consider nuclear Iran instead.

Q: Snoopy border uk?

A: This here Snoopy does not have no steenking borders.

Q: Welsh Jews?

A: I hope you see now what kind of perverts use Google?

Q: There simply must be Jews?

A: If you say so, we are fine with it.

Q: How do jews feel about Israel?

A: How do you like that Jewish habit of answering a question by a question?

Q: Contribution of elders?

A: Immense, I tell you, simply immense. And if you dare to think differently, prepare to suffer the consequences. And use a capital E when you mention Elders, you creep!

Q: Male chauvinism sms?

A: No, we did not hear about it, but it sounds like a neat trick. If you learn how, give us a call, will you?

Q: Well brought up?

A: No, this is definitely a wrong place to look for well brought up people.