03 May 2006

Every so Often an Elder fucks up !

It's a balmy and sunny Independence day here, on unspecified location in Israel. SWMBO decided that there will not be a barbeque today, and I am let loose. So what do I do on that beautiful morning? Do I relax in the garden with a view of the birdies and stuff? Do I stupidly gaze at the infinity, having only one worry in the world - how not to spill that doze of the heavenly liquid made on a specific location by the wise men of Tain?

No - I have had a rude wake-up call today. A friend of ours sent me an e-mail alerting the Elders about a serious snafu in our outfit. And it is back to the yoke for me, seeing as the other Hasbara members are goofing off lately.

And it is not a simple mission this time. Rather a delicate case of writing up a fellow Elder that, how to say it mildly, gone sour. Just a tad off his noggin. Meshuggene, if you will. And a very nice fellow to boot:

Rabbi Tony Bayfield is head of the Movement for Reform Judaism. Does an excellent job of work too, trying to get together people of different faiths, to develop a dialog, a better understanding. He is worried about the growing anti-Semitism in the Muslim world, about the way the most wacko conspiracy theories are taking root there. You just cannot not like the man and the deeds.

And then the man goes and writes an article for no other than the "comment is free". Full of good intentions, too, do not dare to doubt it for a moment! And here it comes:

Then, one of my closest and most trusted Christian friends confronted me with something extraordinarily painful.

He opened up the issue of the neo-cons in the United States, those who have supported the Bush administration in its foreign policy, and how many of them are Jews. I became defensive and then hostile, pointing out that only some were Jewish, that the Southern Baptists backed Bush but that did not mean that all Christians backed Bush, and that the idea that the Bush administration was either a front for a neo-con conspiracy or had bought someone else's philosophy wholesale had all kinds of overtones that made me shudder. My friend understood but sent me material about the Project for the New American Century established in the Spring of 1997.

Wow, that's a real smasher for a peace-loving individual! Such a piece of news, and so fresh - right out of the oven (1997)! Yes, dear Tony, them PNAC people indulged quite a lot in that Dr. Strangelove masturbatory business. On paper, mind you. Yes, there are quite a lot of Jooz on the list of signatories. All in the open, mind you, but don't let it bother you mind.

But then Tony feels punched in the face by another smasher:

In a letter to President Bush: "We want to commend you for your strong stance in support of the Israeli government as it engages in the present campaign to fight terrorism. As a liberal democracy under repeated attack by murderers who target civilians, Israel now needs and deserves steadfast support."

Both documents had many Jewish signatories.

This one has really smitten our Tony. He is down on the floor, and the only way for him to get out of that knockout situation is to throw out the towel. In his own inimitable way:

Is it possible that, in our desperate desire to protect Israel, some of us have backed a problematic horse? Could it conceivably be that in our terror of Muslim extremism, we have unwittingly made it hard for ordinary western Muslims to love us?

Yeah. OK, Tony, now to business. Your Elder license is revoked. You must get back in touch with your senses. When you realize that your so called "most trusted Christian friend" is a mental fuck-up, and that all you have done about it so far is to fall into the trap of that Jewish guilt so deeply that you have, probably, to apologize to your most trusted Christian and Muslim friends for the mere fact of your existence every single day - then we'll talk about rescinding the punishment.

And re that other, rather pitiful wail of yours:

And how on earth do you build relationships of love when there are huge expanses of this country, never mind the world, where there isn't even a single scared and prickly Jew to love?

There is a definitive answer in that Book you are supposed to teach your people from: "pru u rvu", or, as you know, "be fruitful and multiply". In simple words: get laid. You may pass this suggestion to your flock more frequently.

And re the "scared and prickly Jew" - ... nah, we'll leave it on your consciousness. Just - be scared only of one thing - the long arm of the Elders. And get well quick.

Hat tip to RG (yes, and for that headline too!)

Update: I have just stumbled on this Swedish Meatball post by Norm. It links to an article about an amazing case of a Swedish meatball-for-brain Chancellor of Justice, Goran Lambertz. I can easily see the link from the "Could it conceivably be that in our terror of Muslim extremism, we have unwittingly made it hard for ordinary western Muslims to love us? " to the decision by the meatball-for-brain. Can't you?