22 June 2006

Ain't we mixed up?

A new outstanding search string arrived today from UK:

"Football player with quranic verses written on his arm"

Dear Sir/Madam,

As an acting speaker of the Elders, I am authorized to make the following statement:

We dealt with a case of the Quranic verses appearing on a tuna fish of a mediocre size. The tuna in question has subsequently disappeared, only to serve some needy family in its prime role - as a food item. Due to insignificant size of the fish and its accordingly low value as a source of sustenance, we did not pursue the issue further.

We are aware of only one case of a football player's hand of religious significance. This is the case of Diego Armando Maradona, otherwise known as "Hand Of God" (HOG), but the god in this case does not match the parameters you are interested in. On the other hand, nutritional value of said Maradona could be classified as very high, especially during the periods of indulgence. However, we did not act upon this due to high concentration of alien substances in his flesh, making him too toxic for consumption by a human.

However, modern science cannot reject out of hand appearance of Quranic verses on the arm of this or other person. Especially if the person is consumed by religious zeal and happens to pass near a tattoo parlor in this state.

In any case, if you happen to find out which football player happens to have Quranic (or other) religious verses on his arm (or any other appendage, for that matter), please let us know. We'll provide the capture, handling and shipping, cooking utensils and all the necessary species and such. Of course, the specimen will pass rigorous checks for toxicity and quality.

Your ever dominating