03 June 2006

What is Post Zionism

About a month ago, a boychick who's a postgrad in English Literature at Sussex University, requested an Elder's definition. Next up, I got a call from an LA plastic surgeon who heard a lecture while on campus at UCSF by a bunch of quaffiya branding middle class whitebreads. A few days later, an e-mail came in from a Boca Raton (former Crown Heights, NY) guerilla fighter (retired Jooler, now heavily air-conditioned), who read an article by "a Californian LiberalJewFag". Then a friend – from North TA, a Labour Party activist, asked if I heard about it.

Other than the postgrad, the rest never heard the term Post Zionism used until recently, let alone know what it's about. So, for all of you who are now blinking vacantly while reading these words, here's the Elders definition for this Post Zionism shtick.

Post Zionism

Post-Zionism in essence is Jooish guilt run-amok. It's a masturbatory, inventive and overly imaginative narrative of Zionism, used by an assortment of self aggrandizing pricks and sociopaths, who Find this outlet and label more appealing, less challenging and cleaner than run of the mill S&M. A known shared common comorbidity of this debilitating condition is Munchausen syndrome.

Post Zionists

Below an assortment of some of the prominent names associated with this genre of creative writing. The rest of the pack are not really entertaining enough to get a mention. Some (we are not at liberty to disclose), are employed and directly financed by the Elder's (ultra secret) Conspiracy Fund.

Uri Avnery, ex-editor of the extinct rag, Haolam Hazeh (Israel's version of The Sun, or News of the World), found himself without a cause once his paper was closed due to lack of interest (and rather unimaginatively bad semi-porn), had to quickly adopt another sensationalist sleazy vent, and formed Gush Shalom as an outlet to maintain the limelight.

Benny Morris, is a run-of-the-mill turbocharged toy-historian with a compulsive passion to sell his wares. He's very proficient at reinventing and debating himself back and forth (aka bipolarity).

Ilan Pappe is a Lewis Carroll fan that got a dose too much of wet paint vapor in the confined windowless room provided by the University of Haifa, and has since yielded his perception of reality to a constant and persistent bum trip. He periodically regurgitates a recurring hallucination of IDF soldiers playing football with a Palestinian baby's head. His one talent (no offence to Savants) is an ability to improvise an historical narrative at the drop of a hat. Each narrative is unique, and is never told the same way twice. He has reached minor celebrity (mostly in the minds of MPACUK activists, and raving Anti-Z's) for encouraging the AUT to boycott Haifa University on the grounds of his discriminatory allocation of office space.

Post Zionism is also a rally point for certain type of disillusioned Diaspora Jooz (residing mostly in a stagnating dry rot infested drizzle isle) wishing to disassociate themselves from the hyperactive riff raff band of Middle Eastern Shtarke OstJooz. These can be timid Jooz, as well as raving Anti-Z's brought up on a utopian fairy tale version of a clean non combat narrative of Galutnik Zionism, eager to express disgust and distance themselves, lest they be misidentified by the big bad goys and put in harms way.