21 June 2006

Clarification to "England 2 - 2 Sweden" post

"JC is supposed to be Jewish. Why would he favor the English team over the Swedes?"

JC favors neither. He started his early career at Hopoel Galilee as a goalie, where the fans first coined the chant 'Jesus saves'. He ended up betraying his allegiance by transferring to Maccabe Nazareth for a superior sack of Shekels. The Hapoel Mapainiks would have none of this, and grassed him out to the Governing Body who nailed him good and proper and put him up on charges.

"And is it somehow related to the inexplicable fact that most of Israeli sport commentators are ardent fans of England?"

Nope. Like most Israelis, the commentators are triggered by the very same kibutznik "fuck the Swedes" reflex. Sweden/Swedes are inherently associated with eager, ready volunteers. So when Israelis say fuck the Swedes, they're not really cheering for Engerlaaaaaand.

Then there's that NATO exercise thingy…

"Does Sir David travel with his makeup team/hairdresser? And how does he keep his coiffure unruffled during the game?"

He isn't a Sir. He's an OBE, which basically means that HRH acknowledges his existence, but may not actually know who he is, or what he does. He produces his own hairstyling product, from an original idea first demonstrated by Cameron Diaz on the film "There's Something About Mary".

"Explain Rooney, please"

Hydrocephalus, coupled with over-production of Testosterone .