20 January 2006

Hamas £100k image makeover

According to Guardian, Hamas has decided to put some real money in PR. No more "Kill the Jew!", no more burning buses - a new, politically correct Hamas instead!

Hamas is paying a spin doctor $180,000 (£100,000) to persuade Europeans and Americans that it is not a group of religious fanatics who relish suicide bombings and hate Jews.

"Hamas has an image problem. The Israelis were able to create a very bad image of the Palestinians in general and particularly Muslims and Hamas. My contract is to project the right image," said Mr Aqtash, who also teaches media at Birzeit University in Ramallah."

There is some truth in Mr Aqtash words. Our intense dislike of being blown up has something to do with the bad image Hams acquired in all these years of suicide bombing. Being Jews, we have a strong guilt feeling about it. To make up to Hamas for this long lasting enmity, here is a free advice.

The world is used to this image of a suicide bomber:

After consulting with some leading fashion and cosmetics companies, the Elders came up with a NuLookBomber image that should solve all this controversy and allow Hamas to be accepted in the fellowship of the free and enlightened:

You see how easy it is? And once it is done, you could dispense with all these ideas Mr. Aqtash is pushing:

· Saying you are not against Israelis as Jews - who knows the difference anyway?

· Don't talk about destroying Israel - you can continue now

· Do talk about Palestinian suffering - once you go back on the above, this is not needed

· Don't celebrate killing people - go ahead and dance in the streets

· Change beard colour (if red) - just the opposite - that orange beard is real PR

Just think how much PR money Elders saved you in a jiffy. You would be able to buy a thousand NuLook explosive belts now for all these new Barbies!