04 November 2006

A stroke of administrative genius

Yes, this is precisely what happened to our Environment Minister Gideon Ezra.

(You can see him in the picture above on a very environmental background).

And the superb idea Mr Ezra came up with is related to his exalted post, seeing as he is worried about pollution caused by the uncounted drivers roaming the streets of the big cities unfettered. The solution to the problem is simple, as most strokes of genius go: just reduce the number of parking lots in the cities, and the drivers will think twice before crashing the gates of our cities.

It is so simple one wants to cry beholding the beauty of the idea. I have indeed cried a bit. So had quite a few other ornery Israeli drivers that cannot live a day without infesting one or another city by their stinky polluting four wheeled monsters.

Of course, one might say that the idea is a typical example of negative reinforcement. But we must not judge harshly, after all Gideon Ezra comes from Shin Bet where the negative reinforcement was his middle name. One can even offer a few additional steps in the same direction:

  • Random towing away of the private cars
  • Random letting the air out of randomly chosen vehicles' wheels
  • Arresting (randomly to start with) the ornery drivers who did not get the message and still try to pollute our cities
  • If all else fails - connecting the exhaust pipes of the cars with the passenger compartment. This should resolve both the problem of pollution and parking in a single blow.
So the roadmap is clear, let's move with it. Wait, but what with the car used by the Hon. Minister himself?
In the same breath, however, Ezra explains that the absence of hybrid cars from the Knesset parking lot is due to their "excessive cost."

As for the environment minister's willingness to serve as a personal example, Ezra's media advisor says that the security needs of ministers do not allow for their use of hybrid vehicles like the Toyota Prius or the converted Honda Civic.

"They're too small," says the advisor.
I respectfully submit that this issue could be resolved too, following the general trend of negative reinforcement. Placement of police or army snipers in discreet positions near the ministries' buildings and the Knesset, with standing order to shoot at any moving car, should do wonders to the excessive mobility of our elected dignitaries and increase their working hours immeasurably. And, of course, reduce the air pollution - which is our main goal, lest we forget.

Yep. Let's proceed.