17 August 2006

George the Ouroboros

From Wikipedia:

The Ouroboros (also spelled Oroborus, Uroboros or Uroborus) is an ancient symbol depicting a serpent or dragon swallowing its own tail and forming a circle. It has been used to represent many things over the ages, but it most generally symbolizes ideas of cyclicality and primordial unity.

That's it, the history and philosophy finished and done with for this post to make out like I am a person of deep knowledge and all that. Notwithstanding the fact that I am dealing with much less sublime matter here. How to put it gently: garbage.

But why Ouroboros, you may ask? Oh, that's simple: the insidious George Monbiot, exactly as the mythical worm, is able to reach his backside. Albeit in George's case there is no swallowing self (even George himself will puke, I suspect), it is just that George likes himself so much that he is indulging in licking his own backside. In public, too.

Some short time ago, George with his bosom buddy Pat Buchanan, co-authored a new conspiracy theory, according to which "The assault on Lebanon was premeditated - the soldiers' capture simply provided the excuse."

I have offered an opinion that this new myth will be a huge hit (see the link above) and added a piece of advice:

The success of the new myth is guaranteed, and in my opinion Monbiot should apply for a patent. The royalties will be enormous.

Apparently, George has not heeded the advice. Now the only thing left to him is to watch how new and eager supporters jump on the bandwagon. And this is how he validates that conspiracy theory he himself invented:

Last week I argued that Israel's attack on Lebanon was premeditated: Hizbullah's capture of two soldiers gave Israel's government the excuse to launch an assault it had been planning since 2004. Both Bush and Blair knew that it would happen and gave it their approval.

I was, of course, denounced by supporters of Israel's government as an anti-semite and an apologist for terror. But on Sunday this hypothesis was confirmed by an article Seymour Hersh published in the New Yorker.

Either it is a case of the most brazen chutzpah or just utter idiocy - it is for the readers to decide.
On August 8 George publishes an article with that ground-breaking "discovery". Several days later, Seymour Hersh (who will gladly sell his grandma down the river for a scoop) picks up the smell (again, from at least two possible sources - George M. and Pat B.) and joins the fray. This is enough to confirm the hypothesis. Notice also, that in his original article our hero George does not use the word "hypothesis" - he sells it as a fact.

I can explain George's strange act only in one way: since he did not apply for a patent as advised, he is doing the next best thing - licking his own backside each time another scoop hunter picks up his "hypothesis" and, in his own fashion, claims it to be a fact.

Good job, Georgie! And bon appetit!

Cross-posted on Yourish.com