08 December 2006

The new age of Islamic science

With the intricacies of the peaceful nuclear bomb apparently figured out, cloning of sheep under full steam and oil flowing, the Iranian senior management has decided to take a close look at the mystery of Holocaust that bothers their president for so long. Scientifically speaking.

Granted, the Holocaust Envy was not invented in Iran. The intellectual property rights on HE belong to the inventor of the formula "Naqba - the Palestinian Holocaust". We'll let this anonymous person to fight for the IP rights with his/her Iranian colleagues. Anyway, the Persian unshaved wonder Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has decided to find a worthwhile occupation for himself. After all, it is not manly to confess to the no-crime of being a mere puppet of the shady team of Ayatollahs.

Iran announced yesterday details of a conference questioning whether the Holocaust really happened, prompted by an international outcry a year ago when President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad described the slaughter of six million Jews by the Nazis as "myth" fabricated to justify Israel. The foreign ministry said "intellectuals and researchers" from 30 countries - including Britain - would attend Studying the Holocaust: An international view, in Tehran on Monday and Tuesday.
Be educational to learn who are these "intellectuals and researchers". Meanwhile, our intrepid agents have obtained a copy of the conference agenda. It appears, that in addition to purely intellectual and scientific discourse, the hosts plan for an extensive series of practical workshops to prove once and for all that the Jews Zionists are lying about their Holocaust, when the one and only Holocaust is the Naqba. Here are some examples:

Zyklon B: the best disinfectant in the service of German medicine. The Iranian president himself will participate in the gas chamber experiment to prove that there is no basis for the vicious Zionist rumors about this cleansing and invigorating substance.

A year on potato peel - the secret of the best diet. The most corpulent Iranian Ayatollah has already started (in total secrecy) a one year long diet regime, eating only a limited quantity of potato peel and, once a week, a dead rat. He will demonstrate his "before" image and perform some calisthenics before the public to prove that this diet has done wonders for his well-being.

Mass graves or swimming pools? The trick performed by the Zio-American imperialist photographers that presented the pictures of swimming pools,so popular with the Jewish customers of the health farms, as waterless holes in the ground, will be finally unmasked.

Keeping Jews in or intruders out? The real role of the machine-gun watch towers, killer guard dogs and armed patrols was to keep the envious and hungry Polish, German and other crowds from making their way into the health farms. A room with two volunteer rabbis (best friends of Ayatollah Khamenei) will be protected by four trained Dobermans who will attack any person attempting to enter the room for any reason whatsoever.

The Grandpa Josef I loved. Fritz Mengele, the grandson of good Dr. Josef Mengele, tells the real truth about his much beloved grandfather. The cloud of libel spread by the Zionists around the image of the lovable Grandpa Jo-Jo will be dispelled once and for all!

There are many other workshops of most enlightening nature that will culminate in the concluding speech by the president himself: "Death to Zionism, the cloned sheep and why I need them". Surprises galore!

Cross-posted on Yourish.com