17 September 2006

Lost in translation?

There is nothing new under the sun. The legacy of Arafat's double-tongued speech and triple-dealing behavior is alive and well, serving its new users - the Hamas crowd. The news are doubtlessly confusing for a reader who just arrived from another planet.

On Saturday, PA Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh said that the political program of the proposed Palestinian national unity government does not include recognition of agreements that were previously signed between Israel and the Palestinians.

"The program does not talk about recognizing agreements that were signed with the Israeli occupation," he told reporters in Gaza City. "Instead, it mentions that we will have to accept these agreements in accordance with the national interests of our people. This does not mean that the new government would recognize these agreements."

So, what the heck does it all mean, our friendly alien may as well ask? If these Hamas people accept the agreements, why nor recognize them as well? Or vice versa? Why would a politician talk like a bleeding lawyer anyway?

Then it becomes even more confusing:

Hamas has made it clear that while it is prepared to "deal" with the agreements with Israel, it will never honor them. Hamas has also stressed that the unity government's program does not recognize Israel's right to exist. Abbas, on the other hand, argues that the program is based on the 2002 Arab peace plan that implicitly recognizes Israel.

So, if Hamas will never honor any agreements, in what manner it is going to "deal" with them?

You see, dear E.T., these folks of Hamas don't actually want no peace agreements with no Jooz. They would like to continue trying to kill these pesky Jooz off in any way possible, but there is a small catch to this simple program: while they spend their time and what money there is in finding new ways to kill Jooz, the other folks, the ones with money, do not agree to feed them.

So they would like to get the money from the rich folks and continue killing Jooz at the same time. This is why these Hamas folks are making it to seem that they are together with the Fatah folks* and are much more benign and generally nicer than they would look to you when you know them better.

But, on the other hand, they do have a problem: for Hamas folks even to promise (let alone to actually behave in this way) that they will be ever ready to get along with Jooz is very difficult. Simply impossible, I would say. Still, they need the money first and above all, and as soon as possible. And they are almost ready to say something that will make the rich folks (especially ones of Europe) happy enough to open their wallets.

Almost, but not quite. Something gets stuck in their collective throat each time they are opening their collective mouth...

So they are not quite up there with that old late Yasser Arafat (tell you later about him), but they show some promise. I bet in a few weeks they will find the formula that will suit the European folks on one hand and let the Hamas folks continue killing Jooz on the other hand. And then everyone will be happy again. Aside of them Jooz, of course, but who cares...

(*) The other, Fatah folks, would also like to kill the Jooz, but are ready to promise not to. For a while, at least. This is called "pragmatic approach" on Earth, dear E.T...

Cross-posted on Yourish.com