25 September 2006

Death wish of a salesman

We offer our readers a short quiz regarding the following picture:

Who is depicted above:

  1. A doorman of a time-sharing resort in Ibiza
  2. A marriage registrar in a city council
  3. A second-hand car salesman
  4. An inspiring caudillo of a small-to-medium South American country
Well, to tell you the truth, all the options above are misleading: the man in the picture is a literary agent for an over-the-hill senile expert in linguistics turned politician:

In other words - a salesman. Not to be derided, since his success in this specific case is beyond any reasonable doubt. Not that he is too choosy about the means used on the way to success. After all, a trip around the world including hot embraces and wet kissing with characters like Mahmoud the Mad, Nasrallah the Groundhog and Fidel the Undead (some tongueing included in the last case) - it takes a staunch man with a lot of willpower. But one should not judge a victor.

There is one small problem with this salesman - for many years he is nurturing a death wish. Every two or three months his intelligence services produce a rumor about another failed attempt by CIA to assassinate their dear salesman leader. For some reason, though, CIA is not enamored by the idea, and so far has not answered the challenge in any active way. Moreover, everyone is so tired by the fake assassinations game that CIA doesn't even bother to deny the rumors lately.

This lack of response, however, only raises the ire of our salesman who has decided to resort to public dirtmouthing his sworn enemy Bush. This in the hope that it may irritate Bush enough for a termination order.

Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez said Saturday that US President George W. Bush may be seeking to kill him for calling him "the devil" at the United Nations.

Too stupid even for a third rate stand-up comedian, you might say. And you will be absolutely right saying this.

Interesting, what will be the next step in this exciting war of insults? Comical Hugo having a dump on the White House lawn in the hope that a Secret Service sniper decides to take a potshot?