12 April 2006

Ballet for nuclear shahids?

Amidst the fanfare of Iranian poster boy's (see here) announcement about the success of uranium enrichment, a bizarre piece of news went almost unnoticed. Haaretz, courtesy of AP, displays a photo:

with the following caption:

Dancers performing as they hold capsules of uranium hexafluoride during a ceremony in Mashhad, Iran on Tuesday. (AP)

It looks like Iran is developing not only its military capabilities, but a new art form as well: ballet for nuclear shahids.

Balletomanes of the world are holding their breath in expectation of the unveiling. Indeed, the first glimpses of this unique spectacle are very promising:

  • The lyrical Polonaise of nuclear scientists with the Corps de ballet of German and Russian engineers following their slow and erratic movement
  • Divertissement of the moment of truth: the senior scientist performs a unique mix of rumba and belly dance, triumphantly waiving his thick glasses in the air, showing off his shins
  • Divertissement of the nuclear technician with his tame centrifuge, producing the first sample of enriched uranium
  • Pas de deux of Ahmadinejad with the red button
  • Mazurka de la nuit: the last Zionists remaining alive run around the scene, feverishly glowing in the dark
  • Coda: the Corps de ballet of the world, liberated from the chains of Zionism, dances under the benign, but watchful eyes of the Allah and his Ayatollahs, praising the divine guidance of the Almighty and his Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)
The unconfirmed rumors say that the ballet critics of The Guardian, Independent, Al Jazeera, The Daily Worker / Morning Star are going to publish rave reviews of the new production, being allowed to see some selected scenes.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com