13 February 2006

Syria: Israel behind bird flu

Syria: Israel behind bird flu

Well yes and no. The Elders Bio-Tech labs were for a long time busy with another project - The Mushy Peas virus.

"The state-run Syrian daily al-Thawra lately hinted that Israel developed the bird flu virus to harm the genes of its Arab neighbors."

Almost right, but not. The Mushy Pea flu is carried by camels and sheep.

"An article published by the newspaper argues that Israel spread the virus in the Far East to mislead the world."

No, not the Far East – strictly confined to the Middle.

"The newspaper backed its suspicions by citing a 1998 report in the Sunday Times that Israel is developing a biological “ethnic bomb” that would kill Arabs and not Jews."

Well yeah, but death is too obvious. One thing that should be noted at this stage is that we were able to fine tune the Semite gene, as every budding Genealogist knows Jooz and Arabs share a common gene – refinement was required.

A Footnote – the Elders Hasbara departments control the Sunday times, and often uses it to wrong foot our enemies.

“The question being asked today is whether the virus chosen by the Zionist for their ‘ethnic bomb’ is bird flu?” the newspaper wrote.

Nope, again we're talking about the Mushy Pea virus, spread through sheep shaggers and camel humpers.

"The newspaper said that Israel buried 85,000 infected birds in the West Bank which could have infected a Palestinian from Jerusalem with Avian Flu."

No you damn armatures. It was spread using our Golda Beam – a technology developed and mounted on our so called "communication" satellite – Amos, which can track livestock and blast even small herds with the virus from space. I mean, can you imagine the Elders schlepping a bunch of dead feigalach around…

“If the virus is designed to hurt Arab genes specifically, it will nevertheless spread beyond the Arab world,” the paper argued, adding that the whole world will suffer from an uncontrollable pandemic.

No, no, no. We target only Arabs. This is how it works; a sheep shagger, or a camel humper comes into "contact" with his livestock and is infected. The resulting indications initially are a thicker viscous ejaculate, which rapidly turns green when exposed to oxygen. Inter human infection is transmitted through sexual intercourse; however females cannot be infected, but are carriers. The most common and by far the most lethal method of secondary infection and contraction however is through flatulence and burping. The virus last clinical indication is male sterility and incompetence. One indication that we have that the spread of the Mushy Pea virus is proliferating is through the Arab Media, which has recently started producing articles and TV shows where sexuality is openly discussed.

We would also like to add at this point (for the benefit of our PETA member readership) that livestock is not harmed in this process.

"The paper also accused Israel of killing Yasser Arafat using biological viruses which can be used against the Arabs. “We recall that the assassination of Yasser Arafat was done using a biologically engineered virus to which only the Zionists had a remedy,” the paper wrote."

Again wrong, we will release the full story at a later stage, once we get it cleared with our Hasbara Department.