13 February 2006

Miscellaneous wisecracks

All this stuff, with one exception, comes from a single (on-line) edition of Haaretz. Amazing.

The coma and the conspiracy theory deals with the brand new conspiracy theory, according to which Sharon's party, Kadima, is not ready to "Let Him Die for Maximal Electoral Advantage."

We have some news for the conspiracy theorists: it was discovered that Kadima's rival Likud, led by Bibi Netanyahu, is also not ready to
Let Him Die. This for Bibi's purely egotistical reasons. Our Source discovered that Bibi even volunteered for nurse duty, requesting to be in charge of taking Arik's temperature. In the old-fashioned way, of course.

This is the only way Bibi could stick it to Arik.

Netanyahu: Blumenthal to stay on Likud list despite conviction. Of course, most of the members of Knesset standing ongoing trials and those already convicted are now in Kadima, which causes quite a bit of envy to Likud folks. So Bibi has decided to keep Ms. Blumenthal as a seed, so to say.

British architects plan boycott on companies constructing fence. We, the Elders, are in total agreement: that wall/fence is a sore, aesthetically speaking. One humble request to the Brits: please do not build that boycott as ugly as one of the Herod's castles, OK?

Mofaz: Army service for men to be trimmed in '07. Yeah. I talked to a few sergeants. They are of the same opinion: their recruits will eat the same quantity of shit - just in a shorter time. No worries here.

Arab MK Al-Sana: I went to Syria to promote peace. Sure. Like one of my friends (not me!), who went to a Rumanian bordello once to promote free love...

Speaking about bordellos: Venezuela ready to receive Hamas visit 'with pleasure'

And the poll today is:

Who's to blame for the Danish caricature row?

- The print media
- The cartoonists
- Muslim fanatics
- The Iranian and Syrian governments

Surely you understand that the real answer is missing and that it is:

(noiZ fo sredlE)

And now to the only exception: BBC

Cheney shoots man in hunt error. The man feels much better now, judging by the photo in the linked article. Although - he decided on a black tie, probably respecting the sanctity of the occasion. The whole story would be a bit strange for septuagenarian, but one must remember the wonders of Viagra. Passion revisited, it looks like. One would like to inquire, does Viagra do the same wonders for the trigger finger as it does for that other appendage?