07 February 2006

O Schlimazel, Where Art Thou?

It's enough with all this foreign toons problems - let's discuss our own toon characters. Deity knows, we have enough of that. Take, for example, Hamas...

But what do you know? There is a solution for Hamas already! And the solution comes from no one but our beloved hero - Bibi Netanyahu:

"Strong against Hamas - Benjamin Netanyahu!", claim the election campaign ads.

The picture above, undoubtedly shows Bibi dealing with Hamas, so everything is cool. Relax, people.

But of course, if you want to be stubborn, there are other problems. Take, for example, the problem of poverty. But what do you know: Bibi has already done solved this one:

"I will put an end to poverty within three years", declares Bibi, cool as cucumber.

The above exhibit shows Bibi fighting the final fight against poverty. Just guess which fist contains the shekel.

Well, what else is there to solve? I think nothing, so Bibi the hero will be able to rest on his throne, observing the kingdom of peace, wealth and health with quiet satisfaction of the resting Hercules.

Er... well, maybe one last puny task of cleaning the clock of that bird flu, but it will be really the last one, and we do not perceive any special effort it might demand of the mental giant Bibi definitely is.

I don't see any special reason then not to vote Bibi come march 28. Just one small problem: that Doron Rosenblum fellow from Haaretz couldn't find worst time to remind me that tiny moment of some Benjamin Netanyahu guy career:

"Hamas is here! Iran is here!" Likud ads scream. "Sixty-five thousand armed men at the order of Hamas! Strong against Hamas - Benjamin Netanyahu!" Yes, it's Bibi, the man and the flag and the makeup. He is the schlimazel who saved Khaled Meshal and released Sheikh Yassin - he is now going to be "strong against Hamas."

Indeed, it is Benjamin Netanyahu who approved that undercooked operation whereby two schlemiels Mossad understudies used some devilishly sophisticated chemical concoction on that Meshal character (instead of just boinging him on the noggin with a sufficiently heavy object). These two got caught for their troubles. As a result, the said Netanyahu was forced a) to provide the antidote to save Meshal, b) to let Sheikh Yassin go free - with well known consequences and c) lick King Hussein's (PBUH) boots to the full satisfaction of the late monarch.

So, the promise of exterminating Hamas does not look that hot. Maybe, just maybe, that elimination of poverty is also some kind of ...er ...pre-election bullshit?

Or, maybe, this is some other Bibi Netanyahu this time?

You know, I like that last Bibi better. At least he is less pretentious and does not try to feed me bull. I will look around for this one and keep my vote for someone else meanwhile...

Remark: Our gentle gentile friends - for meaning of schlimazel and schlemiel look here.