20 February 2006

David Irving: I erred when I said there were no gas chambers at Auschwitz

Haaretz brought today something that they consider a scoop probably:

VIENNA, Austria - Right-wing British historian David Irving pleaded guilty to criminal charges of denying the Holocaust and conceded he erred in contending there were no Nazi gas chambers at Auschwitz as his trial opened Monday in Vienna.

Irving, 67, told reporters he now acknowledges that the Nazis systematically slaughtered Jews during World War II. "History is like a constantly changing tree," he said as an eight-member jury and a panel of three judges prepared to hear charges that could put him behind bars for up to 10 years.

Ah, well, the Elders are not surprised for some reason. Follows an excerpt from a coded message from the Chief of Operations to a field operative:

Moshe, you can remove the vise from the subject's testicles. Let him take an ice bath for an hour, but make sure he doesn't get pneumonia. It is important to insure during the next steps of the programming that the subject:

  1. Does not get up and sing HaTikva each time he hears the word "Zionism"
  2. Conceals the Torah in a place not easily accessible to his houseguests
  3. Does not request an audience with the Chief Rabbi on weekly basis
  4. Stops sending his CV to Mossad HR dept. - explain to him gently that his age precludes this
  5. Does not ask for an official document stating that he is an avowed Zionist. In the worst case you can forge something suitable, but make sure to laminate it - he will use it a lot.

You can promise him that during the summer break in schools he will be invited to conduct workshops with our boy/girl-scouts about the ways to exterminate Holocaust denial.
Also - please ask Miriam to apply more rouge in his makeup - this vise made him too pale.