22 October 2006

Open letter to Mr. John Karen

Dear Mr. Karen,

I have received an unsolicited e-mail from your desk that I, with(out) your kind permission will partially quote here:

Manager,Credit and Foreign Bills of Coutts and Co.

My name is JOHN KAREN the Manager,Credit and Foreign Bills of Coutts and Co. Iam writing in respect of a foreign customer of our bank with account number-708-14-256-112 whose name is Mr. Sheikh Yassin an Israeli citizen who was killed during the Israeli and the Palestinians war in middle east crisis after Hizbollah Guerrillas captured two Israeli soldiers and killed up to seven Israelis in violence on either side of the Lebanese on 18 July 2006.

Since the demise of this customer, i personally has watched with keen interest for someone who will claim his money all has proved abortive as no one has come to claim his funds of US$15.5M (Fifteen Million Five Hundred Thoudsand United States Dollars) which has been in our bank since the middle east crisis.
Mr. Karen, I am grateful for your confidence and your proposal to partake of the above mentioned funds. There are two main reasons that prevent me from undertaking the mission you have so trustingly put in my hands:
  • I am still awfully busy with a similar operation involving much higher amounts of money in Benin. What with the issues re my looming conversion to Islam, second marriage and many other, lesser problems, my hands are tied.
  • The funds you describe belong by rights to the IAF (Israeli Air Force), they being the natural inheritors of the late Sheikh. You can write to IAF via this site, and I can assure you of a very warm and considerate reception.
I hope my advice will prove useful and will resolve the financial conundrum you and your esteemed bank seem to have encountered.

Oh, and a technical detail: the Hon. Sheikh Yassin expired, with some assistance from IAF, much earlier than your message indicated. Since, according to Mr. Yassin's ideological heir, Ismail Haniyeh, the above mentioned assistance from IAF provided "the moment Sheikh Yassin dreamed about", you can rest assured that my reference to IAF is indeed correct.

With best wishes,


Cross-posted on Yourish.com