07 October 2006

Hiccups according to Carter

I have barely had time to finish that piece on Ig Nobel prize on a miraculous cure for hiccups, when my roving eye fell on the article by AP, uncritically copied by Haaretz. Very relevant to the hiccups issue, in my opinion.

Former U.S. President Jimmy Carter calls for restoring aid to Palestinians

Former U.S. President Jimmy Carter said Friday that a foreign policy aimed at punishing the Hamas-led Palestinian government through a seven-month aid freeze has failed, and called on the international community to seek other ways to resolve the conflict.
A week cannot pass without Jimmy Carter contributing another idea on how to settle things down in a nice way around here. Of course, we should not forget that he means good. Jimmy Carter always means good, this is the main trouble with this controversial and noisy character. Unfortunately, he rarely pays attention to small details, uttering pearls like this:
Carter said the closing of Gaza's access points has led to a "stranglehold" on the territory.
Surely even a busy person like Carter could have checked up on the reason the checkpoints on the Gazan border are closing down so frequently? Unfortunately, a major part of Carter's peacemaking activity boils down to inattention to small details. Not to mention his unwavering support and almost maternal tender care for every two-bit dictator in the world.

The man who brokered the failure of a deal with North Korean dictator. The man who pressed the world into bringing in Mugabe, the butcher of Zimbabwe. The man who in 1997 wrote an op-ed piece entitled "It's Wrong to Demonize China" (how does Tibet do lately, Jimmy?). The man who licked Castro's behind... this list could go on and on, but it will be a list of costly political hiccups that may present a picture of a person being a permanent failure. And we could not have it, could we? After all, Jimmy Carter is a man of good will, so full of the best intentions he is bursting at the seams...

Unfortunately, we here cannot afford a failure of the proportions that Carter's tender care brings all over the globe. Please keep him away, busy with some other crisis that needs a speedy solution. Or, maybe, use that finger massage that seems to do miracles for hiccups. Whatever.

P.S. Wiki here says about Carter: "the first President born in a hospital". I wonder...

Cross-posted on Yourish.com