27 October 2006

The bright side of anti-Semitism

This is quite an ancient story, but I have promised to tell it, and a promise is a promise.

Once upon a time there was a big under-developed area (Area further in this document) of a size exceeding that of the Benelux, located in the middle of one of the less traveled continents, which name, for reasons of Political Correctness (PBUH) I am not able to divulge. The Area, while being full of wonders of nature, was populated by tribes that were, how to say it politely, at a very low stage of their cultural and otherwise development.

It so happened that the Area was not off the map as far as the efforts of the UN (or was it the League of Nations at the time?) subcommittee for eradication of the anti-Semitism were concerned. Just the opposite - the subcommittee has seen it as one of its noblest goals to eradicate the scourge of anti-Semitism in the Area. To this end, a special envoy of the subcommittee was sent to the Area and spent several years there. Follows an excerpt of his report to the subcommittee.

Dear ladies and gentlemen of the subcommittee,

As you may know, I have dedicated the past ten years of my life to the noble cause of fighting anti-Semitism in the Area. I can say without bragging that I have given my best to the cause, and all my hours were spent in the effort to bring the light of reason and understanding to the remotest and most dangerous regions of the Area. I braved the most inaccessible trails to reach every tribe, fought lions, snakes and huge spiders, overcame uncounted local diseases - but I left no corner of the Area untouched by the message of humanity and acceptance of the tribe of Israel.

Ladies an gentlemen, I have used all means of persuasion put in my disposal by the subcommittee. I have lectured, I have shown pictures, I have sung, danced and in all ways possible lauded the people of Moses. My effort was incomparable, I am not too humble to state.

[Some technical details of the report omitted]

And it was all in vain, my dear colleagues.

They would not agree to eat the Jews.