18 August 2008

The worst opening sentence? Come on!

I totally fail to see the funny side of this story. So this guy describes a steamy love affair in NYC:

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped 'Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.
Let's sort out the quote:
  1. Checkered taxi ride - isn't any love affair checkered? Check.
  2. Burning rubber - definitely has its place in a hot love affair. Check.
  3. 24/7 - Does real passion allow coffee breaks or weekends? Check.
  4. Steam rising from their bodies - what with climate control or lack of thereof in NYC... Check.
  5. Warm, moist, white breath - isn't it steam in other words? Check.
  6. Through manhole covers - isn't it the person's business where he/she emits steam from? Check.
I say it's stark realism. Faulkner is left standing by this one.