05 September 2007

Now they eat cats too

It looks like Aussies, being a freewheeling and care-free folks with an insatiable curiosity and readiness to try everything that could be conceivably tried, have (inadvertently, for sure) crossed one serious red line.

Australians have come up with a novel solution to the millions of feral cats roaming the outback - eat them. A recent Alice Springs contest featured wild cat casserole. The meat is said to taste like a cross between rabbit and, perhaps inevitably, chicken.
Of course, like any people who feel that vague nagging of their consciousness, Aussies have invented a justification to this inexcusable perversion of natural order (for those of you who may not know what natural order is - the higher life forms are looking at all the lower ones as providers of protein, fibers, vitamins, etc. - whatever the doctors recommend):
Feral cats are one of the most serious threats to Australia's native fauna. They eat almost anything that moves, including small marsupials, lizards, birds and spiders.
How do you like this pathetic attempt at (fallacious) logic? It is the cat that eats everything that moves - not your average friendly Aussie who, provided the supply of beer is secured, will eat not only everything that moves but everything that ceased any motion long ago or, perhaps, has never even attempted to move.

Aussies have not yet grokked that felines are way above them (and above any other human, let's make it clear - no one, even a born vegan living in an environment-friendly habitat, is excluded) in the food chain. And that eating a feline is a sacrilege that will be punished.
This outback cuisine does come with a health warning. Scientists have said that those eating wild cats could be exposed to harmful bacteria and toxins.
Now, we do not care about this highbrow egghead stuff. Even without science, and without waiting for a confirmation from the Elders' HQ, I am issuing a real warning* to all inhabitants of that funny island:

Remember Atlantis!

I am not sure that I have to go into details. In any case, people who do not heed warnings will never know what hit them (or, in this case, what drowned them). The Elders involved in this Atlantis operation are still laughing when recalling how the chief priest of Ishtar, standing on his toes on the top of the highest pyramid to get the last breath of air, was asking the totally indifferent skies - why. Between us, it was because of proliferation of anise-based drinks and enforcement of aerobics on general populace, both being deadly sins in our eyes.

Anyway, dear Aussies - repent and cut the bull. Or else. There will be no second warning.

As usual - alerting some cat lovers, hoping that they will pass the message.

(*) Of course, all feline inhabitants should ignore it - the evacuation procedures will be made public at the appropriate time. As usual.