17 November 2007

Mom, a right-wing Zionist bit my leg off!

Calm down, it hasn't happened yet. But the situation is serious enough to analyze it and to take the necessary steps.

Our diminutive (see stinky's correct guess in the comments), albeit valiant grass-root fighter against the Zionist octopus, Deborah Fink, was a victim of a horrific attack... but we'll use her own words, with a comment here and there. The original text will be in blue (hopefully, if Blogger doesn't foul it up).

I'm sending this to give another example of how far supporters of the Israeli gov. will go.

"Gov." stands for government, if you had any doubts.

Sat night, I went to a party. I did not have any attention of discussing politics, but one guest knew that I'd organised a picket of the Zionist Federation Expo for the following day and joked about it. I explained to him and his Israel friend, why. I didn't mention boycotts and stuck to the basics, i.e. this fare was advertising properties in the Occupied territories, which most Jews are against. The Israeli saw nothing wrong with this and thought I was quite wrong.

"Sat" stands for Saturday, that's fairly clear, and we commend the original intention of the author not to have anything to do with politics for the evening (unfortunately for all involved, it was not to be, as you shall see in the next sentence or two). It is not clear in the above what is it that most Jews are against - the Expo, the advertisement, the properties or the O. territories, but for the safety sake let's assume that most Jews are against all of it.

Meanwhile, the ears pricked up of 4 Becky (or chavvy?) type women.

Now this one requires some interpretation. "Becky" means Jewish (derogatory) and "chavvy" means a lot of things in the island of Albion, none of the things nice too. It is unclear why the women in question could not have been both Becky and chavvy, but we'll take it up with Deborah directly.

One dark-haired woman recognised me from the previous year and wondered what I was doing there, saying I should go home. The blond haired women, (Nicol?) kept calling me a self-hating Jew and that I was a disgrace to Jews (or something like that). Of course, they went on about suicide bombs and when I spoke of the dead Palestinians, they said 'Good'. The dark-haired woman said: 'The only good Palestinian is a dead Palestinian'.

It is clear that our hero fell into an impossible situation. That dark-haired lady was clearly one unrepentant Becky and the blond one was... actually the same... or maybe just chavvy. But here comes a mysterious statement:

Nicol threatened me with BETAR.

We have heard (and issued) a lot of different kinds of threats - from threatening a person with a heavy blunt object (or a sharp one) to threatening a whole country with a boycott or some such, but threatening a smallish and visibly harmless person with BETAR? In the Elder's practice it is simply unheard of. To send a trained reptilian for some intimidation or a wet job, if necessary - that's fine with us. But threatening to use BETAR on a live human body? No way, it must be some mistake, and we'll have to have a long talk with that Nicol - close up and personal.

And now comes a statement that really caused all alarm bells, sirens and cell phones with that insidious ringtone (you know which one I mean) to go off simultaneously in the Elders' HQ:

Again, Israel seems to give permission to Jews to talk like this.

I will be... No, really, who in his right mind...

We have summoned immediately all Israeli Who is Who to our HQ for investigation. And the results are negative. Nope. Nada. Zilch. Not a single person in the place owns up to giving such permission. And the Elders of Z. have definitely never allowed anyone to talk this way to vertically challenged people who are obsessed with the Zionist beast.

This case caused us all a lot of distress here in the Elders' HQ. We couldn't give the rest of the story the attention it so clearly deserves, what with wine being thrown into the heroine's eyes, the arrival of police and the subsequent speedy recovery of the heroine, who valiantly continued to enjoy the party.

Hopefully, doing her best to avoid politics for the rest of it. And as proof of our benevolence and general bigheartedness we are sending our victim of overzealous Beckys and chavs a gift:

Certified not to be grown in the O. territories.

We'll put it on the floor, for ease of access.