Steve Jobs denies rumors, not going to purchase USA

Blames CNN that caused the rumors by publishing the two articles simultaneously:

Obama on US debt crisis: 'we are almost out of time'

and

Apple now has more cash than the U.S. government

Overheard mumbling to self: "Why do I need that headache, anyway I was going for Monaco or whatsitsname... er... Luxemburg... On the other hand... firesale... mumble mumble mumble..."