02 July 2008

On possible asparagus evolution

Jams presents a beautiful and inspiring treatise on a revolutionary idea: to transform Mars into an asparagus colony of Earth:

...world-wide asparagus are doubling every 5 years. By 2040 there will simply not be enough arable land on Earth to satisfy demand. We need to consider other growing locations so to hear that Martian soil is perfect for growing asparagus is excellent news.
Being more of a carnivore by habits, I don't know enough about these asparagus trees (bushes, whatever), their migrating ways, mating calls and all that crapola. I'm able to identify a piece of killed, cleaned and cooked(?) asparagus on my plate, though, when SWMBO forces me to eat veggies. But this is the extent of my knowledge.

However, I still feel confident enough about my general understanding of the evolution theory to offer a word of caution. It is clear that these asparaguses (asparagi?) as they grow here, on Earth, are being coddled and pampered from the moment of their conception to their appearance on my (and yours) plate. They don't have any reason to evolve.

It will become an absolutely different ballgame if we let them grow in the difficult Martian environment. Clearly, the asparagus will have to evolve, and do it quickly in order to survive there. And in a few years we'll have us a completely new species - a sentient asparagus. And it goes without saying that the new species will not have any reason whatsoever for good relationships with the human race that, after all, systematically killed and ate uncounted generations of their ancestors, remote and mindless as they may have been.

What then? First of all, of course, the sentient asparagus will eliminate all the human population of Mars, and then turn its attention to interplanetary shipping lines, attacking and scattering the cargo ships, passenger liners and whatnot. And of course, sooner or later, the attention of the new race will naturally turn to Earth and the final revenge - extermination of human beings.

I don't know. Just look at this picture Jams presents:

Dunno about you, but I don't like the look on their faces.

We should think twice, I suggest.