22 February 2011

And your candidate for the Senate is...

A few days ago I have posted a clip about the decision of my friend Andrew Ian Dodge to run for US Senate for the state of Maine. I do not understand, am not involved or interested much in the US internal politics, so the attraction of the whole story for me is rather personal. But as the time goes, one naturally develops some curiosity, since the news coming in from Maine is so exciting. Andrew's started the campaign with an impressive communique, rounded up by the interview you could see in the link in the beginning of this post and another one here.

And than IT started. By "IT", I don't mean Stephen King's (one of the most famous Maine citizens) probably best and scariest horror novel. After all, Andrew can cope with horrors on his own, since he dealt with the genre himself. I refer to the witch hunt that was started by assorted "patriots" and connoisseurs of another genre: that of defining what an ideal politician for their beloved Maine should look like. In short, the woodwork started to disgorge its contents, and in some ways Stephen King could take heed of and profit (in a literary way) from the proceedings.

I have compiled a few of the critical remarks and outright accusations, not to mention some stronger expressions that were already addressed at our contender. So here it goes:

  • Hound of hell (here)
  • Practitioner of witchcraft (same source as above)
  • Goth (here)
  • Born with a silver spoon in his mouth (same source as above)
  • Narcissistic personality (same source as above)
  • Pasta boy (same source as above)
  • Looks an awful lot like porn actor Ron Jeremy (?) (same source as above)
  • Reminds some other person ("Chairman") of Arafat (same source as above)
As you can see, even the appearance of the candidate is legitimate fodder for denigrating remarks among some of the connoisseurs. Imagine that character what compares other people with a male porn actor... A good answer to this category of idle bums was given in the same forum:
I would really like to see pictures of all of you who base your votes on the appearance of the candidates. You must all look like Calvin Klein underwear models.
Good point, Old Dame Fortune! I might go even further and say that these characters might happen to look more like used CK underwear, but I wouldn't...

But the real good skinny comes from a man who is named Steve Martin (not the well known comedian) who is going all out to bash Andrew and throwing at him everything he can cook up in a hurry. Here it comes:
  Andrew Ian Dodge: Who annointed this guy??
Notice the double question mark and the misspelled "annointed". Now to the gist of the ire:
This guy is getting so much FREE Mainestream press (must be an agent for the other side). The severity of the accusation is obvious, and Steve Martin not the comedian isn't going to let Andrew of the hook easily. He follows up with a barrage:
We don't all dress like bums, have Wicca connections, weird sex stuff on our websites, hang out in dark bars, etc...
Yeah, "we" use a photo of "us" taken in the pose of a deep thinker - very impressive and "we" are too straight for Wicca connections and undefined "weird sex stuff". And "we" obviously cross the street to avoid being caught near a dark bar, etc...

Then he catches up with a remark made by another Tea Party activist, one Pete Harring:
I think that the press would have a field day with him, just because of his connections over in England -- there's questions about whether he's a citizen or not.
Leaving aside the stupidity of that sentence - how could one's British connections invalidate one's birth certificate? - Steve Martin not the comedian takes this idea even further:
I have a hard time with the Mainestream "press" in this State picking a NON-CITIZEN who is into witchcraft and weird sexual stuff as a spokesman for the "tea party" in Maine.
Now the object of his cutting criticism became confirmed as a NON-CITIZEN. Case closed, and another birther affair is launched. Well, if it doesn't work with one's political enemy, it just might work with somebody of your own party...

All this was only for appetizers: Steve Martin not the comedian pushes forward:
The Libertarian Party is an uneasy partnership of convenience between Constitutionalists types and Libertines.
Wow... libertines... what can one say? Mr Dodge must immediately rethink his dastardly sexual practices he no doubt indulges in all over the fair state of Maine. Or else... I would like just to inquire whether Steve Martin not the comedian has a slightest idea about the meaning of "libertine" - he is certainly feeble on the subject of libertarians too. Anyway, his ignorance doesn't bother him, and his next shot concerns Andrew the libertine:
Right now, the Libertines are speaking out more loudly and the press is glad to follow them around with baited breath hanging on their every word, because, again, the end game is world government, and Libertines have no real loyalty to a country they see as having been established on misguided principles.
Only Steve Martin not the comedian knows how the sinister Libertines are connected to the world government, but we all know the kind of guys that connect everything they hardly understand to the world government, whatever it means to them. Don't we? The shadows of the black helicopters should be seen already over the best lobster ares off Maine coast, I say. And Steve Martin not the comedian doesn't stop here, he quotes from (unlinked source) another tidbit about Libertarians (or does he mean Libertines? who knows by now...):
We have taken to ourselves the Marxist-Leninist tool of agitprop.
Of course, it makes our subject, on top of being Libertarian and Libertine, also a closet Marxist-Leninist... enough? By now all Mainers should already seek FBI / National Guard / Army protection from this monstrous Marxist-Leninist non-citizen Wiccan warlock, sexual deviant for the world government that hangs out in dark bars and dresses like a bum. And don't forget that ominous "etc."

I, as an Elder, am authorized to divulge a glimpse of more things to come. Sit up and listen, ya'll, it's coming now.

While there are no Jews in Andrew Ian Dodge's genealogical tree and his DNA was checked and considered completely Jew-free, during his travels abroad he was abducted and kept for the necessary period of time in captivity, totally unconscious all the time. During this period a secret biochemical device with a secret trigger mechanism was implanted in a secret location in his body, to be activated after he obtains the post of US senator. Upon activation of this device, his genes will be modified to become totally Jewish, with all the derived changes in his beliefs, allegiances and personality. And then... imagine Maine in the clutches of Rotschilds, Freemasons, Illuminati, Mossad and George Soros... Nah, I had thrown in Soros for pure shock value, you can relax.

For the moment there are no contacts between Andrew and Mossad, Freemasons or any other known arms of the world Jewry. The photo below that catches him in conversation with a 6ft lizard is just a result of a random encounter with an Illuminati field agent and doesn't have any impact on the plan outlined above.

However, for the sake of openness it must be stated here and now that the neighbors of Dodge family have noticed that their dog refuses to partake of lobster, spare ribs and cured ham - in short, any non-kosher items that any other dog will gladly kill for. We are not saying more on the subject - let those who are able to make their conclusions. And, incidentally, to make their peace with what is expected to happen to Maine...

As for Steve Martin not the comedian: after all, he is a bit of a comedian. No more than a bit, though, cause he is too stupid to be a good one. Still, I do feel for him, after all he is trying... And since he obviously never read Running For Governor by Mark Twain, I warmly recommend this educational and inspiring account as a guide to production of high quality and deadly slander.

The point, dear Steve Martin not the comedian, is that the slander (libel), as you should learn in this story, should be of a kind that is impossible to disprove or to sue for. Unlike your pathetic bleating about the birth certificate, sexual practices etc. And thank your fate that Andrew Ian Dodge is not (yet) Jooish - otherwise by now hordes of merciless shark-toothed Jooish lawyers would have been at your worthless carcass... etc.


Dick Stanley said...

Ah, well. Wouldbe politician: steel thyself for the slanders and libels of outrageous opponents. If you expect to glide into office amid smiles and tossed roses, find another line of ambition. For your own sake.

LifeoftheMind said...

When is the Libertine Party?
Should I bring potato chips?

SnoopyTheGoon said...

And any other accessories that may come to mind when Libertines are mentinoned...

SnoopyTheGoon said...

That true. And fun - for an observer, that is ;)

Dick Stanley said...

He can be glad that he ain't running in an Arab country like Libya where they'd sooner murder you than look at you even if you genuflect to Allah and Mo thirteen times a day and agree to ingest all of the bottomless, unquenchable hatreds of the world's most awful religion.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

I'm more than sure he is glad about it.

Andrew Ian Dodge said...

Running for office, in the US especially, is Pythonesque experience. You just have to laugh from time to time in order to avoid either becoming bitter or insane or both. Why not laugh at some the more extreme nuttiness directed my ways? 

SnoopyTheGoon said...

That's true. Laugh is healthy anyway.