03 March 2009

Bangladesh, reptilioids, Kleenex

You may want to ask (but wouldn't, I know your timid manner) what is common between the three. The answer is not that simple: a new frightening interstellar conspiracy was casually unearthed on a site no one reads, under a non-exciting headline:

Listen up, time is short ladies and gentlemen

It starts with a routine snooping (obviously by a US intelligence agent) around a government building in Bangladesh:

I was snooping around a government building in Bangladesh last month and I came across some documents regarding the alien race, reptiliods. When I found George Bush's signature on a memo to the Bangladeshi Secretary of Treasury, saying that they will have complete control over the worlds finances, I was shocked because I wasnt even looking for that. I was looking for kleenex.
It is the SOP for a CIA field agent to do his/her best to get Kleenex on the go, if you were wondering about it. What with uncertainty of CIA status these days, frugality is a good protective measure, so no free Kleenex for the agents. On the face of it, this small detail that could be known only to the selected few, fully authenticates the message.

And of course, if Bush, who is into alien connections in a big way, has something useful to tell, he will tell it to the Bangladeshi Secretary of Treasury, it must be obvious. So is the next step by our author, who will not leave a stone unturned in search for the Troof:
I took the first flight back to the states and started snooping around the Pentagon after the building had been evacuated during a terror plot drill on January 5th. I infiltrated a 4 star general's office (whos name I cannot disclose for my own safety) and found an interesting document in his briefcase he left behind.
In short, this is where the diabolical plan became clear in all its satanic majesty:
It goes on to say that we will all become slaves and erect giant monuments of the reptiloids until all of our planetary resources have been consumed, at which point we will all be exterminated.
Shocking, simply shocking, I say!

Nothing to do about it, I guess, and this is how the Earth surface will look pretty soon:

Unless, of course, we wake up from our slumber in time, and just waking up is not enough in this critical moment. Another vital element, which I call upon the incumbent US government to deliver is:

Free Kleenex for all!

And without delay - the time is running out.