16 October 2013

To Iranian forgers of Israeli passports

It seems that forging Israeli passports became a growing industry in the most unlikely place: Iran.
Three passengers were caught in early September with forged Israeli passports at Brussels airport in Belgium, officials have said.
And it is not the first:
This latest incident follows the attempt of seven Iranians to enter Vancouver, Canada with forged Israeli passports in July of this year. They had used the identities of a family of seven from the Israeli city of Rehovot. Similar errors in Hebrew spelling and translation to English were also found on those doctored passports.
The common denominator of all these cases is a very low level of workmanship. And  some translation errors mixed with little understanding of what is really going on outside the Iranian borders.

So here are a few tips that may improve the situation:
  1. Ashtali is not a proper Hebrew name for Tel-Aviv, it's a title of an old Indian movie. Tel Aviv is "תל אביב".
  2. Star of David has six points, not seven as you seem to think.
  3. A photo of a veiled face for a male passport carrier wouldn't work. Neither will it work for a female one.
  4. Israeli passport with entry and exit stamps of Saudi Arabia, Iran, North Korea and other similar places will be automatically suspect.
  5. In the middle of the top line of the passport's first page should be written "State of Israel". "Zionist Entity" or "Occupied Palestine" simply wouldn't do.
In fact, you may consider ordering the first batch of passports from Mossad, a discount coupon for first order attached. Quantity discounts could be considered in the future, subject to signing a long term supply agreement.

Oh, and don't even think about using prof Juan Cole for translation. Border control folks don't dig ambiguity in the passport info.


SnoopyTheGoon said...

Satisfaction guaranteed or your sentence appealed for half price!

SnoopyTheGoon said...

That is the way indeed.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Very funny. Yes, quality control can be a big problem in mass production of any kind, especially those three-way translations from Farsi to Hebrew to English.

SnoopyTheGoon said...