20 October 2013

More cheap wisecracks for your weekend

An Iranian who was hanged for drug dealing miraculously survived the gallows. Now he will be hanged again, there is no get out of jail clause for unsuccessfully hung.

"Carrying out a second execution on a man who somehow managed to survive 12 minutes of hanging -- who was certified as dead and whose body was about to be turned over to his family -- is simply ghastly. It betrays a basic lack of humanity that sadly underpins much of Iran's justice system," said Luther [Amnesty International].
My only hope for the man is that with time he will get used to all these hangings.

Another bizarre story from CNN:
Two teen girls were detained Thursday at a Victoria's Secret store in Manhattan after possible human remains were found in one of their bags, an NYPD spokesman told CNN.According to Jones, while initial reports indicate the remains are a fetus, the medical examiner's office is investigating.
Some people dare to rummage in a girl's Victoria's Secret's bag? Nothing is sacred anymore... Anyway, the case gives a totally new meaning to "shop till you drop".

Now to various aviation-related mishaps. First about a pervert:
A federal air marshal was arrested Thursday morning at Nashville International Airport after being caught taking multiple upskirt pictures of female passengers boarding a plane, police said.
I believe that worst they can accuse the man of is being overzealous: it is simply that the famous X-ray screening machine was on the fritz that day...

Let's move to... oops, more perverts:
A former vintner and a salon technician were each fined $250 for allegedly engaging in oral sex in front of other passengers on a commercial Allegiant Air flight from Medford, Oregon, to Las Vegas.
I would suggest that some of the other passengers - the ones that didn't complain or break up the tryst - should pony up for that fine. Besides, that air marshal from the previous story may have caused the lady to throw her modesty out the window... Oh, and the male participant of that show says:
I will learn from this and move on to the next chapter in my life.
I only hope that the next chapter doesn't include any hot air balloon flights.

And from aviation perverts to geese and their highly negative impact on civil and other aviation. First of all, for full disclosure - I am biased against the critters. I have spent a few years in a place where said Canadian wild geese covered every square centimeter (only it was measured in square inches there) by poop, strolled around the place like they owned it and one couldn't as much as aim an unfriendly blink in their general direction, for fear of being slaughtered by tree-huggers.

And here I read that the Agriculture Department, bless their federal hearts, does some sterling work in that regard:
The agency says that every year approximately 25,000 Canada geese have been cornered into cages, carted off and slaughtered. Local governments have also enhanced land management in and around airports to reduce the presence of certain species.
One small question re that statement: why is that there is never wild goose meat in the supermarkets in US? I asked and checked, and only small specialty places carry it. Could it be that the stuff goes to the airlines as a small repayment for mental anguish and technical damages? Only to end up later as mystery meat in passengers' sandwiches ($7, soft drink and chips not included)?


SnoopyTheGoon said...

Ah, so that's why I have this persistent urge to flap my non-existent wings and honk.

SnoopyTheGoon said...