09 September 2009

Elders' answer to Comical Hugo's three wishes

It appears that, while on his current tour of kissing up to a few bloody dictators, Comical Hugo aka Hugo Chavez came up with three requests for Israel. While some of the requests were kind of puzzling, the Elders have decided to give Hugo their undivided attention. After all, what wouldn't we do to see the kid happy and calm? So here are our answers - in the spirit of best effort, we swear:

1. To end our attacks against the people of Libya. Puzzling, but granted. (Still, why would we attack these poor guys, with Hugo's mad buddy doing an exceedingly good job of terrorizing them?)

2. To give back to Syria all occupied territories. Well, most probably. Gradually, after we get all the oil, diamonds, uranium and stuff out of Golan Heights.

3. To take our hands off Latin America. Sorry, Hugo, no can do. We've had so many problems with our home-grown football players, that the recent decision was to close the shop and to annex Brazil instead. So too bad, but no dice.

Hasta la vista, Hugo...