A few cheap wisecracks inspired by headlines

Taliban denies beheading children

The Taliban denied any involvement in the beheadings, according to spokesman Qari Yousuf Ahmadi. He said Taliban fighters would never do such a thing, but said the group's civilian casualty commission would investigate.

Yes, the kids just stepped too close to a person waving a hatchet... And have you noticed this "group's civilian casualty commission"? I bet they are members of UNHRC by now.

Bin Laden’s Son-in-Law Wants to Keep His Jewish LawyerAnd:

The Jewish judge in the case is trying to dissuade him

He may as well come over to Tel Aviv. Our judges are well known for their leniency. And don't forget the climate too.

Venezuela says it foiled plot to assassinate President Maduro

Whatever lessons Mr Maduro learned from his illustrious predecessor, this is the one he apparently learned well: get almost assassinated as frequently as possible and blame Mercans for the dastardly deed. It pays off in the long run, it seems.