28 August 2010

Peace Talks: Arguments "For" and "Against"

For: All Jews and all Arabs want peace. Arabs want it so badly; they are prepared to sacrifice and fight for it. Hamas Charter says: "The Day of Peace will not come about until Muslims fight for peace to the last Jew".

Against: Peace negotiations invariably lead to Intifadas. "Intifada" is a form of Palestinian Olympics in which you don't have football or volleyball tournaments. Instead competing teams from Gaza and the West Bank take turns in the ancient sport of "Throw the Jew Down the Well".

For: Some think that Intifadas are not really linked to peace negotiations but are merely supported by the organizers in line with available resources, be that homemade Qassams, explosives or holes in the fence.

Against: Some claim that Obama is planning to lock Abbas and Bibi alone with Hillary until they reach an agreement. Personally I would opt for a more humane method.

For: One of the most venerable places of Judaism is no longer under any threat whatsoever. Palestinians destroyed it last time around.

Against: Have you no pity? If they were to come to a peace deal... Who will that poor Palestinian farmer blame as he is beating his third wife and raping his fifth daughter? Please spare a thought for population of the 25 Arab countries - how on earth will they explain their backwardness if it were not for the Zionist enemy?

For: The fact that a powerless stooge with a PhD in Holocaust denial finally agreed to have a talk with the Prime Minister of Israel is not only a great honour to the Israelis but also a huge success of Obama's foreign policy. When his presidency is over, Obama will be able to say: "Yes, I destroyed the economy. Yes, Iran got nuclear weapons on my watch. Yes, the US was pushed over by Kremlin and Venezuela. But I did get Mahmud and Bibi to chat to each other!

Against: Mahmud Abbas is too decisive. Only took him a couple of years of vacillating before he agreed to sit at the same table with Bibi. At this rate the conflict could be fully resolved before my grandchildren get married and we won't get to enjoy the negotiation process for very long.

For: Negotiations will finally, finally give the British newspapers a long-awaited excuse to write about the conflict and to blame Israel for all sins in a traditionally understated and non-partisan manner.

5 comments:

Shira said...

<span>O.K. criticism wrapped in sarcasm is important but Obama is not destroying the U.S. economy... on the other hand I thought you were exaggerating with the bit on domestic violence must be blamed on the Zionist, but then I actually clicked on the link - I have to say if it was anyone but dear Alan, I would have been persuaded, but Noam Chomsky already labeled him as an enemy of free thinking, and... Well, who am I to argue with Noam.</span><span></span>

shlem said...

Shira:

We have to disagree on Obama and economy.  He is not the first president to step onto this path but he the most likely to get to the end of the road.

And on domestic violence, you may also enjoy the primary sources as reported by the good old BBC:

"The men feel frustrated by the political situation so they project their anger on women and children," says WEP psychologist Hala Al Sarrag."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2991838.stm

See, Arab men are the real victims here; they are like children themselves.  If Zionist aggressor builds a fence so they can't blow buses or fights back against Qassams poor Ahmeds are left with no choice but to wack their loved ones.

Shira said...

<p><span><span>shlem:</span></span>
</p><p><span><span>Yea, yea, "The Superior Virtue of The Oppressed" (Bertrand Russell, "Unpopular Essays", 1976) but this is getting ridicules. <span> </span></span></span></p>

Pisa said...

<span>You forgot to mention one very important "for": 
We'll finally have Qassams in and around Tel Aviv! Long years of discrimination between the blessed with Qassams south and the deprived, boring central regions, will at last come to an end. Are you as thrilled as I am?</span>

SnoopyTheGoon said...

The ones around Tel Aviv will be not Qassams. They have some other name and are produced outside of Gaza, but you are right in general.