30 April 2009

Swine flu or Jew flu? You decide

As a member of the largely dysfunctional Apes and Pigs Alliance, I am happy to declare that there is at least one positive outcome of this venture. Some more sensitive members of the world conspiracy theorists mistakenly ascribe the advent of the Swine Flue to one (the smaller) fraction of that alliance. Namely to the Jooz. See the following:

Swine flu (jew flu) - A nice killer to boost profits
To ease the global financial situation the jews have released a genetically engineered virus that kills children, old people and those with depressed immune systems.

jews don’t want governments spending money on children, the elderly and social programs. jews make the most money when governments spend money on wars and prisons. jews want war among humans and slaughter of humans.
Etc. Of course, we don't link to such jewels as a matter of policy, but it's easily googleable. And, as a matter of fact, not that new an idea. It appears that one Eustace Mullins already ascribed the 1976 epidemic of swine flue to the same culprits. In words like these:
Only the warped mind of the Jew could have conceived such a horror as celebrating the Bicentennial Year of the United States by carrying out a national campaign of genocide against its citizens, and by enlisting the President of the United States, Gerald Ford, to personally lead this campaign.
And many words more. Again - go and google yourself. As for he Elders' response, I can easily disprove the pathetic results of the conspinuts' brainstorming: you see, if we, the Elders, were indeed behind this measly flu virus, there wouldn't have been a single conspiracy theorist left on the globe to rave about the possible culprits. It is that simple.

If the Elders were in that flu business indeed, as a perceptive member of the conspinuts' faction (that calls himself Mark) remarks, the most appropriate action would have been:
Find a quiet spot, sit down, say a prayer, put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye.
So forget the Elders (for now, mind you) and take heed of the following advice:
  • Good hydration with alkaline water
  • Sleep
  • Vitamin D
  • Vitamin C
  • Vitamin A
  • Valium (for the more excitable elements of the population)
And, of course, healthy thinking - it could never harm.

Now, as for the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic: that was a great training exercise. But let's leave it for another time...