03 June 2008

Kurt Cobain’s Ashes Stolen

The sad incident occurred recently and created a lot of rumbling in the City of Angels.

According to reports, Cobain’s ashes have been stolen from Courtney Love’s house in Los Angeles. Never one to shy away from the media, Love has revealed that she used to carry the ashes with her inside a pink teddy bear shaped bag along with a lock of Kurt’s hair "I used to take them everywhere with me just so I could feel Kurt was still with me. Now it feels like I have lost him all over again."
The reason for the exceptional excitement caused by the theft is quite extraordinary: it appears that when sniffed in the usual manner, the ashes create a high tenfold as strong as a comparable quantity of cocaine. "Of course, the stuff should be stepped on before distribution, I mean it is like a nuke going off in your noggin", told us Donald W., a local expert.

In related news: indignant Seattle fans demand that the ashes be returned to the home base: