13 December 2010

Thomas L. Friedman reader - chapter one

This new endeavor comes to remedy the lack of respect many Thomas L. Friedman readers start to experience after reading two (or, as it was measured, maximum of three) of his articles in NYT. The best remedy is to follow a single article or even a part of it, accompanied by comments written by someone really enlightened. Or someone less busy, like yours truly. So we are starting today with TLF's latest: Reality Check.

"Reality check" means in this case "a loud complaint with whiny overtones about some no good people who repeatedly ignore my edicts printed in the world leading progressive newspaper and who will be sorry about that later".
The failed attempt by the U.S. to bribe Israel with a $3 billion security assistance package, diplomatic cover and advanced F-35 fighter aircraft — if Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu would simply agree to a 90-day settlements freeze to resume talks with the Palestinians — has been enormously clarifying.
"enormously clarifying": "It was absolutely clear and self-evident to me all along, and if someone can't catch up - this is the only reason I am bothering to write another article in the world leading p..."
Oil is to Saudi Arabia what unconditional American aid and affection are to Israel — and what unconditional Arab and European aid and affection are to the Palestinians: a hallucinogenic drug that enables them each to think they can defy the laws of history, geography and demography.
"Oil is to Saudi Arabia...": "I don't know why the heck I mentioned the Saudis here, but it's a long statement and it ends in long words too. Commands respect, I say".
It is long past time that we stop being their crack dealers.
"crack dealers": "It's a good one. A punch in the face that is bound to get their attention. They will talk about it, these no good..."
The people running Israel and Palestine have other priorities. It is time we left them alone to pursue them — and to live with the consequences.
"And to live with the consequences": "That one is gonna learn these assholes for sure. You shall see them running to Obama (my loyal disciple - never misses an article, that kid) covered by snot and tears."
I understand the problem: Israeli and Palestinian leaders cannot end the conflict between each other without having a civil war within their respective communities.
"I understand the problem": "Ha! Speak about the British art of understatement. Not only do I understand every tiniest bit of the problem - I AM the problem, the solution and the only ONE who will show them the WAY. And 'them' includes Hilary too, accidentally."
Make no mistake, I am for the most active U.S. mediation effort possible to promote peace, but the initiative has to come from them.
"I am for the most active U.S. mediation effort possible to promote peace":  "That one is a pointer for Obama, so he would know what to do with hisself come Monday. And where the pointer comes from too..."
The Middle East only puts a smile on your face when it starts with them.
"That one is a doozy, ain't it? I don't have a slightest what starts where and who puts what on whom, but who cares? It all comes from ME and it is printed in in the world leading p..., so who will dare to ask?"

For those who are still feeling foggy after reading the linked article and don't fully appreciate the depth and wealth of TLF's wisdom and magnanimity, more lessons will follow.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com


Anonymous said...

Thomas Friedman used to be rennaissance. He turned Baroque and has now gone completely Rococo.

Anonymous said...

Again I forgot to register, guest was I noga

Dick Stanley said...

Friedman, again. I don't know how you stand reading that jerk for these postings. As for the "world leading p..." it used to be, maybe. It only likes to think so now. It has been losing circulation steadily for a decade.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Yep, this covers it admirably.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

One of the chief reasons I read him from time to time (far from following all his texts) is to feel awed at the level of self-importance he attaches to himself. It is really a unique delusion, and I wonder if and when his eyes will open a bit.

It would be a catastrophe for his narcissism if it will ever happen of course.

David All said...

It is the New York Times arrogance that they are the foremost in both knowledge and wisdom on any subject. Friedman is actually not too bad compared to past Times columinists like the long time  Editor-in-chief, James Reston and that self-rightous jerk, Anthony Lewis. 

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Not familiar with these names for obvious reasons (too late on the scene), but thanks for the pointer, David.