28 December 2010

Rejected by Mossad

Mossad, this sometimes successful and sometimes inept training school for the Elders' quiet and deadly outfit that counts its years from the day the first live being (that doesn't even have a name in modern zoology) left the primordial soup, this same Mossad is recruiting via Internet these days, as news agencies report. They also offer an explanation of this move:
Security analysts claim that this step proves that the once traditional agency is catching up with the internet revolution and is open to widen its search for people who wouldn’t have been recruited in the past.
We'll leave this explanation on the "security analysts'" consciousness. After all the idea that this way the time and effort required to check the candidate's elementary abilities, such as basic use of Internet and reading comprehension, are saved, isn't simple enough for some...

Anyway, this is not the reason for this post. The reason is that, in line with this new Internet openness, the Elders have decided to publish some hitherto confidential files, namely the (abridged) information about some rejected candidates for various Mossad jobs, including the main reasons for the rejection.

The first one:

Name: James Earl "Jimmy" Carter, Jr.
Job: nothing definite: ex-president and general busybody.
Talents that caused initial interest:
  • Gets around all kind of places, including ones which no sane self-respecting politician would be caught dead in. Could be used to ...[censored]...
  • Totally lacks the sense of nausea and is able to kiss anything and anybody  under the sun
The reason(s) for rejection:

  • During the exchange of the bodily fluids with the current dictator, the subject completely loses control of his senses. The loss of control is accompanied by absolute (to the local standards) ideological indoctrination of the subject.  Associated lack of reliability cannot be sustained.
  • The Rabbit Incident shows lack of guts that can hinder successful career of an agent, especially when under duress.


Anonymous said...

It could have been the Rbbit of Caerbannog that Jimmy encountered.

Seriously there is one area whee Carter does deserve praise and that is his participation in work to eradicate Dracunuliasis. Infestation has dropped from 3.5million cases t les than 3000 in the past 25 years.  Otherwise he can still be a ass though

jams o donnell said...

Hmm I seem to have become a guest

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Yep, I know about this. Even a busybody (or, maybe, because of being busybody) can do some good.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

I've calculated you, Jams!

Anonymous said...

This seems like an amusing idea..I'll be watching for the rest of the series.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Do so, please.