Now here's something that gets up my hooked nose. Everybody and their pious shvesters are getting credit for our work, now they are all lining to get in on the act.
I mean, we toil, plan, scrutinize, invest time effort and technology. We rally up the masses, our agents slip in and out of Mosques all over the fuckin land of snotty arrogant snail slurpers, and our drone in the White house gets all the bleeding credit.
We need to set something straight here. We spent months in the field with the sons of Ishmael and Kush, revving up those cheese cloth clad clerics, firing up the zeal. Went into the really small details, provided those Muezzin screamers with brand new top-of-the fuckin range Hip-Hop amplifiers and speakers. Even wrote the sermons for the squeaky moaners. We circulated proof that Dominique de Villepin has a Jew mother and papers that Nicolas Sarkozy was really Nachman Zalman Sarkowski of Krakow, son of an Elder shyster. We trucked in shit loads of empty bottles, taught the Shabab to mix in the fuel some liquid propellant, even had to ship in the wick cloth. However, nothing could prepare our men in the field for the incompetence these hot heads showed on the streets, their aiming prowess and lack of organization bewildered us. The Maiden, who's an extremely creative and resourceful agent provocateur, came up with a remarkable solution; within hours she had the best the Intifada could offer on the Parisian streets. Yes, the El Aqsa brigade trainers, masters of the over arm technique were flown in. In the pipelines, a Qassam rocket disguised to look for all intents and purposes like a Baguette.
Now I don't want to sound judgmental, but these Shabab riff-raff are a real bunch of fuckin dimwits. Our instructions were fairly simple; when you see a Citroen, toast the car next to it (Needless to say, our French steel recycling plants have been doing very well recently). The instructions would have been understood even by the fart fueled simpleton Chirac. Andre Citroen (formerly Limon) was the first Elder that bought the power of great marketing as a tool for global domination to our council. The man could sell the ugliest most inadequately quirky bastard cars to the uncouth masses. His passion was used strategically as a direct retaliation for that Dreyfus affair. It took the baguette munchers decades to get the fucking joke; they were building their "National Motoring" pride, based on that Deux Chevaux washing board Andre sold them.
We want to make this perfectly clear, we stirred this pot of shit. The mark of the Elders will be recognized and acknowledged.
19 minutes ago
2 comments:
You're being way too oversensitive about this. We control the White House, so credit is still ours. (Dance little puppets, DANCE!!!)
Maybe it is time to send TheMaiden over the pond, to put things straight there?
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