21 November 2005

Hands off our mammary glands!

Science as a whole is not without some positive effects on that globe. We, the Elders, see some side effects of science as very useful. Take, for instance, the air and water pollution, the food additives, the uncounted ways to reduce the flora and fauna to hanky-sized lawns and few types of cockroaches, the disappearance of fishes we were used to see on our plates.

Not to speak about cosmetics and plastic surgery that prolong the careers of many most irritating TV and movie stars...

In short, we like everything that makes people irritated, continuously pissed off at life, at universe and generally at everything. This makes our (the Elders) mission easer.

However, we are watching. One can never be vigilant enough. And our Eye detects for a number of years some disturbing evidence. We are talking about some of the so-called "scientists". Yes - a small percentage of the generally complacent army of the eggheads.

We mean the do-gooders, the raving loonies who do not seem to get the message and are hell-bent to swim against the current. First - the tobacco. Then came fatty foods, they even raised their hand on chips! I mean French fries - for some of you turkeys. Then came the air pollution and that stupid global warming. Etc.

OK, we can cope with all this shit, no worries. Ve have our vays.

Now some of these dickless wonders - this time from Harvard - have in their sights no more and nor less than the highly esteemed D-Cup sized mammary glands. We wonder why - I mean, what the heck would these limp-wristed eggheads have to do with D-Cup sized people? Aside of hurt self-esteem on the basis of total rejection, of course.

It looks like these dorky characters do not even start to understand the magnitude of the issue here. Not to speak about the simple fact that the whole world economy is standing strong and proud only because of the bra, which is the almost single foundation of the modern civilization, that D-cup is a vital mean for the Elders to keep the masses distracted (and how distracted!).

This is a warning to you all - cease and desist. Or else.

At least not all of them eggheads are that stupid and reckless. Take for example that prof - Michel Coleman is the name. Good guy, no questions about it. Here comes his picture:

(Put here to prevent a mishap when TheMaiden does some preliminary interviews with some of them dumbass eggheads).


TonyGuitar said...

If the good professor ever requires assistance in the finer evaluation of D sized units, there could be no one more qualified than mysef, an experienced gland evauator.

There is a declaration to that effect in the about area on my site at:

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Oh, no, man, this one we cannot outsource. Very delicate, that evaluation process, and we think that our expertise here is unmatched ;-)