20 November 2005

The goal of Moshe Feiglin

It came to our attention that a certain character that goes under name of Moshe Feiglin is engaging in activities that were not authorized by any of Elders' departments.

Namely, said Moshe Feiglin (MF for brevity from now on) has some plans for the "Jewish homeland" that were neither approved nor put forward for such approval by our outfit. Follows the list of his goals with some comments (marked by [E]):

1. Our country must focus on our shared Jewish identity. All of its systems must reflect our Jewish values:

[E] All of its systems are and will be reflecting what we, the Elders, decide. Do not become too uppity, young man.

2. Firm faith that the Land of Israel belongs to the Jewish People reflected in both internal policy and foreign affairs

[E] See above. Faith is good, but leave it for moderate use with the Sabbath candles. Stick the candles in afterward, please.

3. Authentic Jewish education for every child in the country

[E] We already have a perfect minister of education, thank you. Anything more stupid, and we'll start breeding Nobel winners like rabbits here, and we do not need this PITA (Pain In The Ass for you) at the moment - too much attention.

4. A judicial system based on Jewish values

[E] Being already considered. We think about getting you stoned (in the Biblical sense of the word), an only the choice of a right place is delaying us.

5. Jewish labor for an effective, creative and moral economy

[E] Aha. This is why one cannot get a good plumber for love or for money these days. Putz.

6. Restoration of moral strength and deterrent power to Israel's army

[E] Yep - none of your business, comrade. You stay with providing more hot air - as long as we allow, that is.

7. Media that reflect Jewish values and morals

[E] We have already done this in a few places. The good ole late USSR comes to mind. Look where it got us.

8. A massive Aliyah program designed so that every Jew in the world can come home and feel at home!

[E] Well, that means first of all getting rid of a lowlife like you and yours and settle that business with our cousins. We'll get to it in time, do not bother your little head.

Well, dear MF. Just a second here: does that MF setup mean what we think it means? Like in "Look here, I am a bad, bad MF, do not mess wid me!"? If so - you are not authorized to use these initials either, so get rid of them. We approve CS for you, and as a punishment you must figure out by yourself what it means.

Well, dear CS - we have some other plans for you, other than your masturbatory dreams about that "Jewish homeland" of yours. Our applied biology (simply put - eugenics) department decided that by cross-breeding you with that other turkey - Israel Shamir, we have a good chance to get something useful after all. Here are the details:

1. CS picture:

2. IS picture:

3. One of the (possible) positive results:

4. We forgot to mention: as soon as the cross-breeding activity is successfully completed, the remaining body parts of the input material will be disposed off.


Anonymous said...

My god, why don't these two people never cross eachother?

I would pay their marriage in Cyprus.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

"My god, why don't these two people never cross eachother?"

I assume they would like to, somebody needs to push them together.