15 November 2005

Hands off Borat!

It looks like some people in Kazakhstan have placed our dear field agent Sacha Baron Cohen aka Borat on their shit lists. Look at that stream of complaints:

"Roman Vassilenko, the press secretary for the Embassy of Kazakhstan, wants to clear up a few misconceptions about his country. Women are not kept in cages. The national sport is not shooting a dog and then having a party. You cannot earn a living being a Gypsy catcher. Wine is not made from fermented horse urine. It is not customary for a man to grab another man’s khrum. “Khrum” is not the word for testicles."

And this is just a smal part of that unending wail. So what - you think that your wine does not contain horse urine? How do you know that this is indeed so? And if no one grabbed you by the khrum yet, it does not prove that it would not happen to you in the near future (hint).

And now comes the confession:

"Travel guides mention a Kazakh sport called kokpar, a precursor of polo. When Vassilenko was asked about it, he hesitated, then explained, “That’s the one where a goat, a dead goat ”a headless dead goat“ is, um, being held as a sort of a prize. And then one rider has it, and he has to run away with it from others who seek to catch it and snatch it from him.” And then they have a party."

So doing things to dead goats is OK now? Come on, be a man. And leave Sacha alone, or we swear we'll make Tony nuke you. That is, as soon as we find out where in the effing world this country of yours is located. So far the only thing we have on you is this:

As soon as we match the above picture with a place on the globe, you are dead ducks!


GideonSwort said...

Jackie Chan elp da geeza who toches a air off is ead. Da elders will set da serpants ead at them, and castrate their cosins sisters usbands wiv a fork, an plop in their old geezers shoes. we will rape their batty boy sons, and make their daughters serve as feminist toys fa batty trumpetin bruvers. Let da elders warnin be eard!

Freedomnow said...

Aye tell ya if dat dere Borat fella comes around my way singin da National anthum I'lla give em a good whalloping!!!


SnoopyTheGoon said...

ey geeza, do not ride the punanni around wiv us or ali g! we'll make yous cry laki a bitch.

GideonSwort said...

aye, we'll ave none of dat omosapiun propositionin in da house