No ennui for us chickens

First of all, click on this picture:

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(Yes, of course, your humble servant contributed).

Then read this aloud:

"Today one needs to be optimistic in order to believe that we can strengthen and improve Israeli society, but one cannot get caught in a state of ennui," she added.

Personally I do not believe she said "ennui", not really. I mean there are some limits, besides she has probably talked in Hebrew.

Ennui? It must be because of these French elections today, I swear. Confusing, really. Er...

Do you know where one can get some ennui here? Enough for a week or so?

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So what?

Somebody is making a big production of the story about 100 license-less bus drivers in Palermo (that's not in Israel, but quite close, in Sicily, and there is a lot in common between the places).

So some people in the city council decided to take care of their relatives. What's so special in it? What will the world come to if people suddenly decided that they will not take care of their nearest and dearest anymore, I ask you?

But this is not the issue here, the issue that some scoop-sniffing journo is trying to sell is the fact that the drivers in question do not have this funny piece of paper (or plastic, as the case may be) that entitles them to drive. Like the fact that the deity produces Italian males driving-ready is not sufficient to reject the whole story as a pitiful attempt to create a scoop where no possibility of such scoop exists.

100 license-less drivers... Big deal. What about 120 clue-less elected representatives of the people who manage our affairs?

Duh...

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So, Azmi, are you coming back for trial?

The case was built using wiretappings conducted by the Shin Bet during the Second Lebanon War.

In one of the conversations Bishara was asked an unusually direct question by his Hizbullah contact who wanted to know how Israel would respond if it were hit by long range missiles which would reach beyond the city of Haifa. Bishara mumbled and admonished his contact, hinting that the conversation may be monitored, but after a short while his aspirations got the best of him and he told the Hizbullah man that such an action would serve Hizbullah's goals. Several days later rockets began hitting targets south of Haifa.

Bishara also provided his contacts with detailed explanations of optimal targets for their rockets and which towns should be avoided. Hizbullah put a great deal of trust in Bishara's situation assessments and apparently operated according to a lot of the information he provided. In addition to the monetary compensation for this information Hizbullah apparently spared no efforts at making Bishara feel important in an attempt to boost his motivation to help them.

This is not a hearsay or some secondhand information provided by witnesses. Even if what the article tells is only partly true, no lawyer will be able to claim bias or concocted evidence. And there is a lot more in the article.

I have no doubts whatsoever that, being a well-known motormouth, Mr Bishara will find an answer to every charge laid at his feet. I also have no doubts that not a single one of his answers will have any connection to the charge. The rabble-rouser will try to do his best to ignite the Israeli - Arab street by claims of innocence and by appeals to nationalistic feelings.

But the main question now is whether Bishara will show us all that he is a real man and come back to Israel to stand trial.

Any bets?

It will be also interesting and educating to see the line of defense chosen by the ilk of Neve Gordon.

And of course, there are some people who wouldn't mind Bishara doing some time in the nick:

Hamas called on former MK Azmi Bishara to return to Israel and share the burden of supporting the Palestinian homeland alongside his compatriots - even if he is imprisoned for it, Israel Radio reported on Friday.

Sure, so that Hamas (and Never Gordon) could claim that Israel oppresses Christians as well...

Update: It looks that the Bishara's campaign has already started:

I AM A PALESTINIAN from Nazareth, a citizen of Israel and was, until last month, a member of the Israeli parliament. But now, in an ironic twist reminiscent of France's Dreyfus affair — in which a French Jew was accused of disloyalty to the state — the government of Israel is accusing me of aiding the enemy during Israel's failed war against Lebanon in July. Israeli police apparently suspect me of passing information to a foreign agent and of receiving money in return. Under Israeli law, anyone — a journalist or a personal friend — can be defined as a "foreign agent" by the Israeli security apparatus. Such charges can lead to life imprisonment or even the death penalty.

Dreyfus and the death penalty, no more and no less. Dreck and a few years in the nick, I say. But it wouldn't happen, would it, Azmi?




To David A.

***

Say it again, please?

The early hours (till 11:00 AM, say) a person must wait till the caffeine and the nicotine start to do whatever they do to person's bloodstream before a person reads sentences like this one:

Peretz says he acted 'wisely' during war

OK, so a person does a regular double take, takes a deep breath and tries again:

Defense Minister Amir Peretz on Sunday praised his handling of last summer's war with Hizbullah as having been "logical and wise."

Fine. The situation did not become clearer. There is a definite need to sort out that unqualified "he".

Get up. Do some calisthenics. Another cigarette. Another coffee. Try again.

No, it is still unclear. Knock head on wall for a while. Chew the keyboard.

Now what?

In related news:

Peretz is inspecting what he was told is a new super-secret jet fighter.

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Yes - I am definitely a saint

This is a totally new one for me, but I am not the one to avoid a challenge. So:

You’re St. Jerome! You’re a passionate Christian, fiercely devoted to Jesus Christ and his Church. You are willing to labor long hours in the Lord’s vineyard, and you have little patience with those who are less willing or able to work as you do. Your passions often carry you into temptation zones of wrath, lust, and pride. Find out which Church Father you are at The Way of the Fathers!

The last statement is totally true and fitting. And while I do not exactly labor long hours in the Lord’s vineyard, the mere mention of the word "vineyard" makes me thirsty.

For some reason Fathers of the Church haven't added the picture of the saint to the result, so here it comes:

Everyone who knows me will confirm that this is, miraculously, a true and faithful image of your humble servant, caught in a rare moment when not in throes of wrath, lust or pride. The glass has no place in the picture, and I do not remember the brand of liqueur I was imbibing at the moment.

So here.

to George Szirtes.

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On some open issues of Islamic cosmology

This JP report on an exercise in freedom of speech by Sheik Ahmad Bahr, acting Speaker of the Palestinian Legislative Council left me with an interesting question, after this passage:

Ahmad Bahr began: "'You will be victorious' on the face of this planet. You are the masters of the world on the face of this planet. Yes, [the Koran says that] 'you will be victorious,' but only 'if you are believers.' Allah willing, 'you will be victorious,' while America and Israel will be annihilated. I guarantee you that the power of belief and faith is greater than the power of America and Israel. They are cowards who are eager for life, while we are eager for death for the sake of Allah.

OK, fine, there was more stuff on killing them all down to the last one etc. But this is really all minor and not very original material, unless you are a total novice in the local political sciences.

The mention of the planet (twice) was of real interest to me, since I do not know anything about the views on the Universe held by Islamic scientists like our Sheik here. And Wiki is very vague on the subject, saying that "The Qur'an itself like the Bible lacks in detail on cosmology however there are many suras that mention much about cosmology prior to the earth's creation. The Qur'an itself mentions seven heavens and a vast universe sustained by Allah." Not very helpful, I must admit. And what could you do with the following sentence:

In some ways Qur'anic suras can be reconciled with modern science with the fact that the Qur'an mentions an expanding universe as well as the big bang theory known in the Qur'an as the "big clap."

Truly a work of an avowed Islamophobe who insinuated himself in the ranks of the Wiki editors. Big clap, I say!

And all of the above is nothing when compared to the problems faced by Islamic astronauts.

Kuala Lumpur - Muslim-majority Malaysia's first astronaut will get guidelines allowing flexibility in praying in zero gravity and eating space meals under Islamic rules, the country space chief said on Monday.

Quite. A discipline which time is overdue, I must say. But the article shows a disappointing lightness of approach. On one hand:

Maintaining Islamic beliefs "is mandatory for Muslims in every situation, time and place," Mustafa Abdul Rahman, who heads Malaysia's state-run department of Islamic development, said in the guidelines.

But on the other hand:

Those in space during the holy fasting month of Ramadan - when Muslims are required to go without food or water from sunrise to sunset - can choose to fast then or to make up for it when they return, the booklet says.

If Muslim astronauts doubt whether a meal is halal, or prepared according to Islamic rules, they "should consume it only to the extent of restraining hunger," the guidelines say.

Sounds a bit too lenient, don't you feel so? And even this pales into insignificance compared with the issue of the direction to Mecca:

Malaysia held a forum for Islamic scholars in April 2006 to discuss problems Muslim space travelers might face, such as pinpointing the Saudi holy city of Mecca, which Muslims are expected face when they pray five times a day.

So what was the conclusion?

The guideline booklet, published this month, says the direction should be determined "according to the capability" of the astronaut.

How does one rely on his "capability" in a box that revolves around the Earth? Beats me, and there is another issue, fraught with even more danger: the problem of the toilet seats or, to put it simply - which way to crap? We have already reported on the Earthside problem as it was solved in Great Britain and even offered an advanced solution that will satisfy people of all religious denominations, namely revolving toilet seats™. But even a revolving toilet seat™ will hardly resolve the issue of facing Mecca while going to potty in a spaceship in orbit (exacerbated by possibly revolving vessel as well). A more sophisticated three-dimensional gyroscopic guidance system is required to keep the seat correctly oriented and, of course, it should be able to be configured for every existing religion in order to be of any use. Besides, the seat should distinguish between... er... number one and number two, so to say, since the males of the species have a habit... oh, well, you got it by now.

To insure that the client is facing the right point, I suggest to keep the client bound to this new 3D revolving toilet seat™ at all times, thus excluding any possibility of an error that may attract the wrath of Allah and endanger the whole mission. It is all well and dandy if the deity decides to send a bolt of fire to smite a wrongly oriented sinner defecating on Earth, in the middle of a desert. But what will happen if the sinner is in the middle of a crap on board the space station?

Still, there is a much, much more difficult (and you thought it is impossible by now, you mental midgets you?) issue than just a single point of reference like Mecca. How about this?

Unto Allah belongeth whatsoever is in the heavens and whatsoever is in the earth. Allah ever surroundeth all things.

How do you accomplish these necessary, albeit unappetizing, activities without insulting Allah? Which way do you turn if he (she) is everywhere and surroundeth you?

Go figure...





to Will and to stinky.

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Army undergoing revolution, Peretz says

Yes, this is exactly what he said (well, as translated into English, at least).

While the rampant and unchecked capitalism could do with a bit of revolution here and there (especially here, since there is of less concern to me at the moment), I am not at all sure that Peretz-style revolution in the army is good. Trade-union of pilots vs. trade-union of ground support team, trade-union of NCO's vs. trade-union of officers etc. - no, I definitely don't think so.

On the other hand, all this stuff could be just a result of my personal misunderstanding. Maybe he just wants to set once and for all a new standard for mustache size according to the military rank. Something like this:

Of course, due to the immense depth of the army pyramid there will have to be a lot more different sizes, but nothing is impossible when there is a will.

It should be made clear that the sample below will remain reserved for one person only:


Guess who?

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Azmi Bishara - heads or tails?

Just a few days ago I have preached here for patience regarding the case against this character.

And today we already have a spate of newsflashes regarding the case.

Bishara suspected of aiding Hizbullah for money

The gag order on the allegations made against former Knesset Member Azmi Bishara was lifted on Wednesday, three weeks after rumors began circulating regarding the investigation against him.

According to suspicions, Bishara contacted a Hizbullah official during last summer's war in Lebanon gave him information on strategic locations in Israel, aiding the Shiite organization in firing rockets at these destinations. Bishara allegedly received hundreds of thousands of shekels in exchange for this information.

Sounds serious, and if only half-proven, will get our hero some quality time in a nick (but he has to return to Israel first, which is difficult to see in the near future). But of course, it is up to the court to decide. Meanwhile, this is so much hot air.

Then we have the first responses:

MK Cohen says Bishara ‘couldn’t have helped Hizbullah’

“As a former military official who is familiar with the field, I cannot see, technically, how Bishara could have pointed out Israeli targets for Hizbullah,” said MK Ran Cohen (Meretz-Yahad) on Wednesday.

Cohen commented on reports of the allegations brought against former MK Azmi Bishara, and called on him to return to Israel to explain his position.

With all due respect to the former "military official" - ah, what the heck, he is too full of it.

Hadash chairman about Bishara suspicions: fabricated accusations

Hadash Chairman MK Mohammad Barakeh, responded to the accusations published Wednesday against Balad Chairman Dr Azmi Bishara: "It has already been proved that the incitement created by the Shin Bet is nothing more than a mole hill."

"The Arab public knew in the past and will know how to fight the incitement of the security establishment and its political branches," said Barakeh.

How about the incitement to fight the establishment, MK Barakeh? One of these days...

And to provide an appropriate background to everything above:

Nasrallah: word 'defeat' over 100 times in Winograd report

"This commission has determined, once and for all, the issue of victory and defeat. There are those in Israel who say that they won and those who say they lost. The commission has determined they lost. There are over 100 occurrences of the word defeat in the report. That is the result," he said.

Aside of the fact that Nasrallah got the report at the same time as all Israeli VIPs, the rest of the information quoted in this post seems to be neither here nor there.

Or, in other words: so much crap.

Let's wait more.

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The Grapes of Wrath and Haaretz Editorial

This is a roundabout way of making a bad pun: Winograd means grapes is several Slavic languages.

And wrath would be a fitting way to describe the last Haaretz' editorial. Its headline is setting the tone of the whole piece, making it clear that nothing less than immediate resignation of Olmert/Peretz pair will satisfy Haaretz, which is not a very original idea today. But back to the editorial:

The Winograd Report contains not even one lenient word to which the prime minister could cling in order to extend his term.

Right.

Personal responsibility for failure - which, as the report states, was evident in every aspect of their duties, including planning, assessment, implementation, lack of forethought, responding rashly, setting unrealistic goals and not adopting actions to reality - has never been assigned by any other committee.

Correct.

The Winograd Committee stated that the very act of going to war was irresponsible, because it was not based on a detailed plan, because the Lebanese arena was not studied, because it was never possible to attain the goals set, because the massive rain of rockets on the home front was not taken into consideration, because the cabinet went into battle without an exit plan, and because the ministers who voted for this move did not know or understand its significance and where it would lead.

Absolutely.

Now what? After we all have satisfied our most unbearable urge - what happens then? Another loser - but this time a proven one?

There is no answer from any of the uncounted pundits that inundate the media by their trumpeting. That is, save one (right, Caroline?), but even Bibi himself does not seem to be too eager right now.

Instead of rejoicing at the downfall of his rival, Netanyahu is faced again with a wave of hostility. An anti-Bibi front has been set up in the Knesset. Its members are prepared to do almost anything, even give Olmert some breathing space, rather than take the slightest risk of seeing Netanyahu back in power. He realizes that if he is ever to return to the Prime Minister's Office, he will have to overcome this animosity.

So, after the initial wave of histrionics recedes, could we have an answer to a simple question: what is it exactly you all want, ladies and gentlemen, besides quick and immediate bloodletting?

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Back off or your elephant is dead meat!

An Israeli tourist, Yoram Ben-Hamo, was convicted last Saturday for kidnapping a baby elephant in Thailand and holding it hostage. The incident occurred during a police chase after Ben-Hamo in a village south of Bangkok. Ben-Hamo, who, according to the police was probably drunk, was on his way to the capital when he crashed into three vehicles and injured a motorcyclist. He then fled the scene. The police were called to the place of the accident and started a chase after him.

So far, so good. But, being a resourceful man, our hero found a way out:

During his getaway, he picked up a knife from a merchant, grabbed a baby elephant from a yard in the neighborhood and warned the police that if they did not leave him alone he would harm the elephant.

I would say that the man had the situation under control but for the damned habit:

Having called in a hostage-negotiation team, the police eventually offered Ben-Hamo a cigarette and he was then captured while lighting it. The elephant was returned home unscathed.

And of course, the villain got his dues:

The media in Thailand has criticized the court for the light punishment Ben-Hamo received for the severe crime of endangering an elephant, the national symbol of Thailand: 500 baht (NIS 60, $15).

That would be about 3 packs of cigarettes back home, right, Yoram?

So what lessons are to be learned from this amazing story?

1. When you are going to shoot (or to cut) - shoot, don't talk
2. Smoking on your watch is definitely a bad idea
3. If you are Yoram Ben-Hamo, you will be much better off at home under close supervision of your mom

***

Modern science and politics

No questions, these two go together. After reading this eyes-opener by Terry Glavin on that Eric Walberg creep, I had immediately remembered a recent discovery of camel bones in Arizona.

Connect the dots and you shall need no more proof of the Caliphate's historic rights on America.

P.S. And I suggest that Snopes revise that erroneous statement for their own safety.

***

A stray thought

Why, indeed, are we all angry with ex-MK Azmi Bishara? After all, he alone succeeded in achieving what our mighty IDF failed to: meeting the Hezbollah chieftain, Sheik Nasrallah, face to face.

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The tale of four ministers

The news as heard on the Army radio, no link:

Four ministers were stopped in the vicinity of Jerusalem by the highway patrol, driving on the shoulders of the highway. Each of the offenders explained his behavior by the need to be on time for a government meeting.

From this point on the fate of the four was different. Two ministers apologized for their behavior and were let go with a warning. The two others decided to pull rank and as a consequence were fined NIS 750 each.

So what is the lesson here? Yes, entering Jerusalem on Sunday morning is a pain in the neck. Almost, but not quite, of the same magnitude as arguing with a pissed off highway patrolman.

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Ask a good question

Olmert / The right stuff? - asks Aluf Benn in an article that, like myriad others, anticipates publication of the Winograd Committee interim report on the second Lebanon war issues.

I am not at all sure that the question is of interest. Olmert could be a (potential) new Disraeli of politics and new Clausewitz of military strategy, but it is irrelevant. It does not take several months of thorough investigation to come to a conclusion that became clear quickly enough: a rash decision sent an unprepared army to fight the right enemy in a wrong way. And Olmert must go not because of his IQ issues but because of the need to do the right thing and take the responsibility.

Of course, the Winograd Committee interim report will be read by precious few in its entirety, and of course the political enemies of Olmert will bang on their drums no matter what, as their motivation could not be farther from a noble goal of improvement of military or political mechanisms.

Of course, report conclusions notwithstanding, Olmert is not going to resign and the usual coalition inertia, strengthened by the ministers' arses being glued to their chairs, is going to carry the current setup for quite a long time.

And of course, the issue of Olmert's possible successor that could be considered even half seriously is remaining glaringly unresolved.

So what is a really good question then? I think I can suggest one.

Should we really bother about replacing Olmert in the circumstances?

Meanwhile from the scene:

I don't think the picture requires a comment...

It seems that, aside of Likud, another party was made happy by the Winograd report:

Hizbullah claimed victory in the Second Lebanon War following the publication of the Winograd report on the war's failures. "The report proves our divine victory came true. The Israeli side was defeated," a Hizbullah representative said in an interview with al-Manar.

Why do they need a confirmation from a mere mortal if the victory was divine?

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Azmi Bishara - not guilty by virtue of...

Apparently, by virtue of having a big mouth. His seemingly erratic behavior, starting with his mysterious disappearance, artfully designed to provide as much fodder as possible to the rumors mill, his dramatic reappearance in Israeli embassy in Cairo to submit his resignation from the Knesset, the content-less articles by his supporters, unable to dispel the cloud of suspicions but preparing the background for an hysterical campaign - all this does nothing to answer the question of Bishara's guilt, but does everything to paint a picture of a martyr for the cause.

And now another step in the well-orchestrated campaign has started:

Thousands of protestors took part in a demonstration in Nazareth on Saturday held in support of former MK Azmi Bishara. Among the protestors and speakers were representatives from each of Israel's Arab political parties and members of Bishara's family.

To remind our readers: the details of the investigation and its results were not published yet. The file was not yet delivered to the AG office that has yet to decide whether there is a sufficient case for the courts.

In four days the gag order preventing complete coverage of the investigation into Bishara will be lifted.

So, you may very well ask, why not wait a bit? Why had Bishara flown so conveniently? Why does he try to preempt the publication of the investigation? Why this hysterical propaganda war, getting absurd:

Former Balad chairman Azmi Bishara on Friday accused MKs in Israel of carrying out massacres. "Most MKs behaved violently in their lives and during their army service," the former Arab-Israeli MK added in an interview with a French television channel on Friday.

Bishara went on to say that he did not have any information to give to Hizbullah but claimed that Hizbullah had "more information about the IDF that it could have ever dreamed of."

Quite a telling statement, isn't it? To top it, Bishara is already complaining that the insidious Mossad is planning to rub him out. And his steely resolve to return to Israel to stand trial isn't worth much as well, if your read the following carefully:

According to Bishara, he would face a lose-lose situation were he to return to Israel now. "Were an Israeli court to convict me, it would harm the legitimacy of the national Arab movement in Israel," he said. "Were I to be acquitted, it would be seen as an acquittal from supporting resistance."

Hardly consistent with his readiness for martyrdom, is it? But the Soviet-trained rubble rouser is hardly inconvenienced by this inconsistency.

Bishara spoke by telephone to the protesters, stating "our intellect and our words are our weapons. Never in my life did I draw a gun or kill anyone."

I believe him - after all, rubble rouser does not have to shoot, there are enough simpletons he brainwashes to do the job.

Many of the demonstrators were also heard chanting, "With blood and fire we will redeem you Azmi."

Whose blood do they have in mind?

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

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