05 February 2010

Syria - Israel: a brief history of a verbal incontinence war in 5 steps

  1. Feb. 1, 2010 Defense Minister Ehud Barak: "In the absence of an arrangement with Syria, we are liable to enter a belligerent clash with it that could reach the point of an all-out, regional war". No one knows why his Napoleonic Majesty decided to enlighten the audience with this pearl of wisdom. But repeating self-evident truths is a strong point of many a general.
  2. Feb. 3, 2010 Syrian Foreign Minister Walid Moallem warned Israel against attacking his country, saying that such an attack would result in all-out war. During a press conference convened by Spanish Foreign Minister Miguel Moritanos, Moallem said, "Israel knows that if they declare war on Syria, such a war will reach their cities." In his righteous rage Mr Moallem decided to ignore that part of Barak's sentence that mentions "arrangement" and, instead, to focus on the part dealing with war.
  3. Feb. 3, 2010 Israel is pushing the Middle East toward a new war, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad said on Wednesday. "All the facts point that Israel is driving the region toward war, not peace," the official Syrian news agency quoted Assad as saying... Well, that's a permanent refrain Baby Assad uses when meeting visiting luminaries. It's probably a good way to fill a lull in a conversation. Better, at least, than the British way (discussing the weather). Anyway, this is the point when the heavies enter the scene:
  4. Feb. 4, 2010 The Israeli foreign minister has cautioned Syria against drawing his country into another war, saying the Syrian army would be defeated and its regime would collapse in any future conflict..."Our message must be clear to [Syrian president Bashar al-Assad]: "In the next war, not only will you lose but you and your family will lose power." In his speech on Thursday, Lieberman also advised Syria to abandon its dreams of recovering the Israeli-held Golan Heights. It is totally unclear what caused Mr Doberman Lieberman to enter that element of personal animosity into his rousing address, but no doubt there is a personal account that needs closing. It is also unclear whether our PM empowered Lieberman to decide the fate of Golan Heights. In any case, the excessive friskiness of his FM caused the chief honcho to intervene:
  5. Feb. 4, 2010 Bibi invites Lieberman for "consultations" on the above quoted eruption. The result: "We pursue peace and negotiations with Syria, without preconditions, while Israel will continue to act with force and determination against any threats," Netanyahu and Lieberman said in a joint statement. After speaking to Lieberman, the prime minister also instructed all his ministers to refrain from making remarks about the Syrian track to the press.
All this during three days... a storm in a teacup for a more normal region of the world but something that could easily end up in a war here. And all this because our PM cannot manage his blabbermouth ministers, each pursuing his own unsavory agenda.



jams o donnell said...

Jesus what were they thinking of? Or not thinking... Surely words like that are akin to sticking your member in a lion's mouth then flicking its love spuds with a wet towel!

SnoopyTheGoon said...

They are definitely not thinking. Or, at least, not using the right part of their bodies for that purpose.

David All said...

Snoopy, I believe among chimps and orangutans, when different packs meet, their leaders confront each other, push their chests out and beat on them while making loud hostile sounds. This is similar to what Israel and Syrian leaders have been up to this week. And yes Snoopy, they are definitely not using their heads. What they are thinking with seems to be somewhat lower on the body.

(Note, if I have offended any chimps or orangutans, I apologize.)

OT: In a discussion at Harry's Place about a report on the increase of  anti-Semitic violence in Britain, one commentator says:
"Although I live in the 'Jew friendly' US, I still carry a licensed concealed firearm to synagogue every Shabbat. I've seen enough Jews be persecuted in other "Jew friendly" countries because they wouldn't or couldn't fight back. If some half-baked ideological terrorists try what they did in Mumbai, I'll get at least one shot off. NEVER AGAIN!"  - Tony - 5 Feb., 7:02 pm at http://www.hurryupharry.org/2010/02/05/depressing-report-on-antisemitism
Do you think Tony needs to take a nice long relaxing tropical vacation?

PS: Will be heading home through the snow shortly before it gets too bad out. Take care everyone, have a great Shabbath and a good weekend. See you next week, whenever we here in Washington DC area get dug out of the snow.        

SnoopyTheGoon said...

I would say that there is a great expression in American that covers the leaders' behavior: dick waving.

As for the Tony guy: I've seen enough guns in the army to keep afar from them for the rest of my life, so I am not excited by the thought of a gun in my pocket or whereve. Besides, a lot of unintentional killing is caused by the guys who want to carry guns without sufficient training in their use.

Drive carefully.

Dick Stanley said...

Dick waving? Never heard of it. Me, I think this is the fate of all parliamentry systems. Beserk ministers. In the US, the prez wouldn't have a discussion, he'd ask for a resignation. Even better he'd issue one himself so the offending party found out through the media.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

The day Bibi asks for Lieberman's resignation will be a day to celebrate. Wouldn't happen, though.

David All said...

With apologies to Dick Stanley, dick waving is the right phrase for the sort of adolescant remarks that were made by the Israeli and Syrian Ministers. Snoopy, I agree that Lieberman resigning the Foreign Minister's position would be great, but is not likely to happen anytime soon. Bibi does seem to be giving the Deputy Foreign Minister, Danny Ayalon more responsibility. It is probably all he can do given Israel's coalition govt. 

SnoopyTheGoon said...

The problem with that is that Mr Ayalon is from Liebermans' gang/party and is full of it as well.