28 March 2007

The bumpy road to peace

United States Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Tuesday that Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Palestinian Authority Chairman Mahmoud Abbas have agreed to meet biweekly, holding talks that could include discussions about the formation of a Palestinian state.
Of course, the brain dead defeatists traitors on the left will scream that Olmert is rejecting all and any peace initiatives. Of course, the brain dead aggressor kill them all traitors on the right will scream that Olmert is selling off the idea of Greater Israel. But we, the Elders, eternally in the midst of thing, stirring the brew and even adding some secret ingredients, know better.

These biweekly meetings are a monumental achievement of Condoleezza that will create a solid base that will serve as a cornerstone in that peaceful edifice that will house the civil engineering equipment of friendship, brotherly love and understanding, which equipment shall clear the road for negotiations that will conceive a new roadmap for peace. Which peace is already around the corner, so to say behind the curtain and waiting to enter the stage.

In short - the two leaders will meet every other week to play poker. Why poker, you ask? Just because both are notoriously bad at it, and Condoleezza has decided that they should at least start to learn something useful for a politician. What version of poker was chosen is not disclosed, but we have been told that the cards will be marked and that each player will be given four spare cards and instructions (in Hebrew and Arabic respectively) for hiding them in various items of underwear.

The game of Battleships used by one of the previous administration to improve the relationships between Itzhak Shamir and Yasser Arafat was rejected this time, due to the bitter experience with the two. Each time one of the two had to visit the restroom (which happened quite frequently due to prostate issues), another one was erasing some of the ships belonging to his opponent, thus increasing the enmity.

The poker game will be accompanied by the regular cooking meetings for the men's spouses. The two will exchange recipes and each will cook the dishes proposed by the other one. Both ladies have absolutely refused to disclose the planned menus and, of course, the recipes. Only a few words said by Abu Mazen's wife were (partially) overheard: "this ...ucking....ilte...ish", leaving our agent (unfortunately male) even more confused.

White House is nurturing great hopes regarding these meetings, and the CiC of the 6th Fleet was ordered to maintain the second highest level of combat readiness. Just in case a new pack of card will have to be flown in...

In the picture: Zionist Condi stealthily passing a fifth ace to Zionist Olmert