Egypt Bans Marriage to Israelis

What a bitter disappointment, and I just decided to marry me a few Egyptian chicks...

To cancel the tickets, to sell the tents... what about the camels?

Are Judaism and Christianity Really As Violent As Islam?

Interesting stuff - highly recommended.

Alternative medicine goes mainstream

This one is really a window into our future:

BALTIMORE (AP) - At one of the nation's top trauma hospitals, a nurse circles a patient's bed, humming and waving her arms as if shooing evil spirits. Another woman rubs a quartz bowl with a wand, making tunes that mix with the beeping monitors and hissing respirator keeping the man alive. They are doing Reiki therapy, which claims to heal through invisible energy fields.

Imagine that future: hospitals without the expensive electronic paraphernalia, without all these machines with lots of lights and buttons that go ping incessantly. No expensive-looking surgeons strutting around, with their green smocks and rakishly askew face masks. No continuously ringing phones and scratchy voices over the loudspeakers (the news will be passed by telepathic waves). No expensively colored pills, lozenges and gel caps in these hated plastic saucers, ruining your family finances, destroying your country's economy and playing havoc with your gastric juices.

Only seedy looking matrons with card packs, crystal balls and strangely smelling liquids in assorted bottles and vials. Add an owl on the shoulder, black cat on the other, and you get the picture, I guess...

Magic surgeons from Philippines will replace or repair your gizzards without actually cutting you up and stitching you back afterward. Your anesthesia will be performed by Uri Geller over TV. The camel urine in your daily medicine dose will be nicely attenuated by belladonna extract, and you really don't want to know what herbs does that old hag with a crooked back, one eye and lethal halitosis put in your tea. As for the dental problems - oh boy, you never dreamed of the easiness and smoothness of getting your remaining molars out by that trained chimp with steel fingers.

One thing, I guess, will hardly change: the bills sent by your new age health provider to your old age health insurance company. Add a pinch of new age magic, and you may be amazed even more than you are amazed today by a $200 bill for a casually handed over aspirin pill.

Unless, of course, the insurance company will agree to take your deductibles in nature products you gather yourself in your backyard. Or in fresh chicken eggs from your best hen. Or whatever...

Hungarian Jews should stick to playing with their what?

Again that issue of long headlines I was repeatedly warned against. But what could one do when the full headline (Haaretz) is Hungarian Jews should stick to playing with their circumcised tails? And even this appears to be not the full quote from Christina Morvay (actually Krisztina Morvai on Hungarian sites), a learned lady gainfully employed as a university lecturer in Hungary. The full quote is:

I would be glad if the so-called proud Hungarian Jews would go back to playing with their tiny little circumcised tail rather than vilifying me.

Krisztina Morvai is currently heading the list of candidates for EU parliament as representative of an ultra-right ultra-nationalist Jobbik party (good buddies of British BNP, by the way). Here she is:

Here is some more skinny on the professor. A lawyer, too, by the way, so one needs to be careful in choosing one's words. I shall tread lightly then, mind you, but then I am always very gentlemanly and careful, as you know.

Warning: the rest of the post contains legally hazardous or morally deranged material interspersed with some strong language. Click "Read more" only if and when you are ready!

Read more »

One edition and two bloopers

From yesterday's Guardian site for your brief enjoyment:

Find the item that doesn't belong in the above snapshot (hint - it's not Putin).

Explain, please, how the two statements above (one on the red background and the other on the gray) aren't mutually contradictory?

Hint: try to disregard the happy eyes of that guy who, most probably, got to the age where Hamas allows him to embrace a sheep*. Also - ignore the fact that the text on the red background is proudly displayed by Guardian every week or so for the last ten years.

(*) Update: I got a few remarks re the animal embraced by that guy. Some people, more proficient in the subject than I, claim it to be a goat rather than a sheep. Oh well, I personally prefer the latter, esp. in the form of chops, saddle or kebab. Apologies if someone was misled by my mistake.

David Carradine death photo in Thai Rath

Is really for necrophiliacs. To chill out, get this:

If you are pining for cadavers, that crow could be heading for you...

Chill down.

Japan's 'herbivore men' - less interested in sex, money

Uhu...

The elusive issue of settlements and pols' honesty

To start with: I am not necessarily carrying a torch for all Israeli settlers, but there is a long a complicated history of the whole settlement issue, there are different ways to resolve the problem, not inevitably by removing all of the settlements, and anyway this is beyond the scope of this post. What is in the scope of the post is the brewing US - Israel scandal re continuation of the building in the existing settlements. The demand that this activity be stopped was broadly reiterated by Obama in his Cairo speech, without going into details of the thorny question.

Various Israeli pols insist that there was an understanding with the previous administration about permissibility to continue building in the existing settlements in their existing borders to allow for the natural growth of the population. On the US side, the current State Department chief claims the she is not aware of such understanding.

There is no memorialization of any informal or oral agreement" concerning the settlements, she said.

This statement is a step "forward" from the previous attempts to avoid the issue by Clinton's spokesperson Robert Wood. The usual pathetic attempts of a spokesperson to crawl away from a direct question are presented in Ami Isseroff's post Obama: Honesty with Israel is the best policy - Go for it! (the post title is self-explanatory, I hope). So now we have a direct statement from her majestic self that flatly denies the above mentioned understanding. Strange.

Because in the last two days I happened to listen (carefully, too) at least three times to the detailed explanation given in three different interviews by Dov Weissglass, ex-PM office manager during Sharons' time. He flatly stated that indeed there is an understanding about continuing building - in the existing borders of the existing settlements. The understanding also called for detailed mapping of such borders and for creation of a commission that will deal with the logistics of the process. The mapping committee wasn't created for technical reasons Mr Weissglass didn't have time to go into, but the understanding is a part of the roadmap negotiations protocol.

So someone is lying, and I am sure it's not Mr Weissglass. Protocols are there to be seen by relevant parties, after all, and a lawyer of Weisglass standing wouldn't resort to a lie so cheap and easily refutable. He is not a politician, after all.

However (is there something in our area without a good hearty "however", I wonder), Dov Weissglass has clarified clearly and unequivocally another side of the issue, which is quite a thorn in Bibi's side. The above mentioned understanding is a part of the roadmap paperwork, as it is already mentioned. Obviously, Bibi can't stand on one point of the protocol (building in the settlements) without accepting the rest of the roadmap conditions - one of which is acceptance of the two state solution. So Bibi has a bit of a conundrum to resolve here.

That's it in a nutshell. More to follow, probably, in the next few days.

There still remain two interesting questions:

1. Why should Ms Clinton resort to a barefaced lie, made only more barefaced by the contortions of her employee?
2. Why should the issue of resolving the natural growth problem become central to the whole Middle East peace process, when really crucial questions, such as status of Jerusalem, the "Right of Return", Iranian nukes etc. are pushed aside?

Curiosier and curiosier...

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Body Worlds, poor Tolik and two Marinas

The story below is making its rounds on the Russian speaking sector of the web. Translated mainly with the assistance of Google.

From the newspaper "The Echo of Haifa from 4.05.09: Visitors to the exhibition "Body Worlds", held in Haifa Museum of Science, have witnessed a heartbreaking scene: a middle-aged woman stopped in front of one of the exhibits and broke into unrestrained sobbing that passed into a hysteria. Museum staff and visitors heard her whispering through her sobs: "Tolik, darling, what have they done with you !!!". Exhibit that caused such a violent reaction was a skinless cadaver holding in its stretched hands his own liver ravaged by alcoholic cirrhosis.

According to the woman who was barely able to calm down, she identified in the exhibit her former lover with whom she cohabited in Aktyubinsk [a Russian city] some 3 years ago. On the exhibit's genitalia remained a faded tattoo "Marina", thanks to which poor Marina identified her beloved Tolik. Marina moved to Israel and has lost connection with Anatoly, but heard that he was serving a sentence for vagrancy in one of the penal colonies. It remains unclear how Tolik appeared in doctor Von Hagens' exhibition, and Haifa police launched an investigation.

Haifa museum guides and the public were shocked by the tragedy, and an initiative group was established to assist the poor woman. One of the ideas is to purchase the exhibit from doctor Hagens and to transfer the ownership to inconsolable Marina. We became aware of the establishment of a charity "Poor Tolik", which has already begun to receive first donations. MK Marina Solodkin (also a Marina!) has presented the case to the Knesset committee on family and marriage. "

Well, what do you all say? The mention of the police and the MK spoiled the gag, in my opinion, but its' not a bad one. As gags go, I mean...

Or, maybe... nah, it couldn't be true, could it?

Air France A330-200: Ultra-modern and extremely safe

This, at least, what the CNN headline says.

The word "extremely" appears another four times in a relatively short article:

...A330-200 is extremely well-regarded as a medium to long-range airliner.

However, Daly said that it would take extremely violent weather conditions to cause the catastrophic failure of an aircraft of this size.

"These planes are extremely robust and widely used on transatlantic routes and across Asia," he said.

...it must have been something extremely sudden to cause the loss of contact.

There is a question I haven't seen raised so far: how did an ultra-modern commercial plane full of up-to-date electronic gear fly into a violent storm - if this is what caused the tragedy?

And could it be that the airline industry, in its relentless cost cutting drive is ready to push the envelope a bit where bad weather is weighed against fuel economy? Not that this is necessarily what happened to the ill-fated flight, just asking.

Extremely interesting.

Lieberman and defense of democracy

It appears that my last post on the subject caused a gamut of responses. From understanding to that other one (about that other one later). I shall try to answer some of the remarks in a general manner, without mentioning the commentators (aside of one). Apologies for the ones I missed.

To start with, an observation that comes from years of experience: most of the folks born in democratic countries put little, or not enough, value to protection of democracy from attempts to undermine it, even when they realize its merits. It takes a nose trained in the smell of a totalitarian society and in that of a democracy to be sensitive enough to these attempts.

Then we should consider the situation with democracy in Israel. While being always justly branded as the only democracy in the Middle East, we are far from being a perfect one - for security reasons, for reasons of equality (may the man who claims that minorities have already equal rights throw the first brick at me and see where it gets him/her - yes, we are going there, but ever so slowly...), for plutocracy getting too much say in internal politics lately, for abundance of corrupted politicians, for the incessant attempts to reduce the power of the High Court of Justice that is the one and the only barrier between the above mentioned politicians and some especially vicious attempts at wholesale corruption.

And have I mentioned the emergency laws yes? The ones left over by the British Mandate that allow unlimited power to the PM and his office?

All in all, while our democracy seems to be stable, there are many reasons to be sensitive. And when a politician like Lieberman gets enough power to become a significant force in our politics, all alarms should start clamoring. It didn't happen overnight, there were enough warning signs before, but we are ever so busy with our external politics, with our enemies and friends, with our petty provincial scoops* that we all have missed the advent.

All this is not (directly) related to the prospects of our future (oh well...) peace deal with our cousins. It is solely about where this tribe is going as a democracy. By the way, Lieberman and his gang are a pretty mixed bag where their views on the negotiations with out neighbors are considered. In some aspects (like his rumored support for the roadmap agreement) Lieberman could be considered to be more moderate than his PM - at least for the moment. There is even that quote from his Wiki bio: "He has said that, despite having lived there for so long, he is willing to vacate his house in a peace agreement". Who really knows?

I will not go into Lieberman's pedigree - it is well known, suffice to mention that he is far from being stupid and that some of his more scandalous shenanigans are carefully prepared in advance to create the desired effect (he has a great mentor - the incomparable Vladimir Zhirinovsky). Which makes him all the more dangerous. And the reasoning that Lieberman just plays populist games to gain popularity and doesn't really mean to pass this or another law is faulty as hell - after all, other members of parliament are not immune to populism, and there is no knowing when and how another idiotic or totalitarian proposal will pass. The history is crammed with examples of democracies ruined by voting.

The three laws I have mentioned in that other post are showing a dangerous trend. No one knows where such a trend might lead, how agile and able is the rabble we've let into the Knesset to abuse the power of lawmaking and the situation in this volatile country. No one should feel that democracy is a given.

It is not for nothing that they say "Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty." While the sentence may have become a truism with endless repeating, it bears remembering. As much as Lieberman bears watching and eliminating as a political factor on our scene. The paskudnyaks should be sent home. As soon as possible.

Now to a singularly obnoxious commentator that goes under a moniker "Norm Cone": buddy, if you need an explanation about what is wrong with the "pledge of allegiance to Jewish, Zionist and democratic state" idea, you may need a manual to get your head out of your backside as well. And if the day comes when I shall need your directions to packing and leaving Israel (especially directions coming from a fiery American Zionist), I'll rather call you, so don't call me, please.

(*) In yesterday's morning newspaper (Maariv) the articles on the degenerate celeb Dudu Topaz took up pages 2-6, while upcoming Cairo visit by Obama was relegated to page 7.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Yisrael Beiteinu? Or what?

For Hebrew - challenged: Yisrael Beiteinu means "Israel our home". Or, in other words, a name for a party that is quickly becoming a fucking gang of brownshirts that will take our country to fascist hell if we don't stop them in time.

When a well-meaning minister invents a law that will prevent demonstrations against public officials near their houses, it smells bad. It irritates. It reminds you of places and times you would rather forget.

When a malicious little paskudnyak that plays a big patriot invents a law that will prohibit Israeli Arabs to mark the Nakba (no matter how malicious and stupid that Nakba day is), it starts stinking. You have to sit up, smell the air and ask yourself what the hell is going on around you?

When that same gang of brownshirts invents a law that requires Israeli citizens to pledge an oath of allegiance, you may think a first that OK, quite a few countries have their folks doing the same as a precondition to getting that red or blue or green passport. But then you notice that "I pledge to be loyal to the State of Israel as a Jewish, Zionist and democratic state...". And it starts stinking to high heaven. And you don't see red anymore - just brown.

When some of us vote in people who wouldn't know democracy if the democracy bit them on their fascist backsides and, in fact, couldn't care less about the democracy, we all pay. Not immediately, no - it will take some time. But a day may come when we all will wake up to flags we have not yet seen and to music we haven't yet heard. If we don't stop the vermin in time.

Or some of us may find out that Israel is not exactly their home anymore.

Take heed.

P.S. This here blog goes on vacation for a week or so. And no, it is not related to the mofos mentioned in this post.

Happy Towel Day!

And don't panic, you all out there!

Hey, the small man that resembles a toad in a toupee went nuclear!

As expected.

In similar news:

Michigan Woman Once Thought Dead Graduates College

What you didn't know about Pepsi

The clip could be watched here.

I wonder: does this dude know what "PUTZ" really stands for?

Hat tip to SEO.